"He's Just Not That Into You"

[jcrew11]

I think the OP is really young, or really inexperienced in dating.

 

The girl doesn't necessarily need to call for the 1st or 2nd date.

 

But by the 3rd or 4th date, a "relationship" has existed where the guy doesn't have to try as hard; and is also seeking validation and reciprocation of his affections. By the 3rd date, a woman needs to tell the man whether there is any potential for a relationship, or just break it off.

 

By the 3rd date, the woman should be able to "communicate" with the man about their "relationship"

[Failboy]

I personally used to jump through all sorts of hoops for women I was into. I would make a complete fool out of myself and suck on every last straw.

 

Of course, that never led me anywhere.

So now, even when I am into a someone, yet that special someone seems disinterested, I will move on.

 

Example: I was doing my daily dosage of OLD, getting a woman to agree to going to the movies together. Great! I thought. Just after we agreed to it and I started to ask pragmatical questions like "when are you free?", she suddenly didn't reply anymore. Back in the day, I would have written emotional emails, telling her how much I like her and asking why she would suddenly ignore me for no reason at all and so on. Nowadays, I just delete her emails and move on.

 

Just saying - maybe a guy is actually very into you, but has put up with so much crap from other women that he would rather move on if you seem flaky.

[stillafool]

If a man doesn’t call you because he’s busy, guess what, he’s busy. Guys are natural problem solvers and like to take care of things. So if he was calling me when he was busy, I would actually start to question his masculinity. Frankly, I don’t want a man to call me and ask me how my day was. As a woman, I feel that's more or less my job.

 

 

So you are basically making excuses for him. It's not YOUR JOB to contact him. Most men like to take the lead. Also if you don't want him to call you and ask about your day why are you here complaining? You seem to have all the answers to your problem.

[Taramere]

According to the book “He’s Just Not That Into You,” when a guy stops calling, he’s not interested, no exceptions. But what if he stopped calling after some miscommunication that took place? Does that mean I should not call him to figure out what the problem is?

 

I’m scared because I think there was a problem, but according to the book, he simply lost interest, and I don’t want to bring it up because I don’t to sound clingy.

 

I just feel powerless. I’d really like confront him to clear the air, but the book says you should never make contact with a guy no matter what. To me that doesn’t make sense, but why would the book be so popular if it does not hold some degree of truth?

 

If you would get a sense of closure from the situation by sending a polite message asking if everything's okay, then that's what you should do. Whether he thinks you're not playing the woman game correctly by sending him a message really doesn't matter if he's lost interest in you. You're not going to suddenly reignite that interest by sitting around being mute and feeling powerless on account of the advice a pop psychology book gives you.

 

Just keep it at one simple, polite message though - and then leave it if he doesn't respond.