its been 4 months

[frederickkk]

yeah 4 months, and im still raw. im going to be like this indefinitely until i take the conscious decision to move on, accept she is never coming back. thats a big step for me though, and im not prepared to take it quite yet. im not wallowing, i just have a small amount of hope.

 

you all know what ive been like on this forum.

 

 

i still email her, every 5/6 days. They never fail to send. But I never receive a reply. the reason i do this is to keep me in her head...maybe the emails are filtered? i dont want her to forget me.

 

After everything I did for her. Well, after everything really, and now nothing. Just silence.

 

Ive been trying to keep busy, im focusing on music full time at the moment, but there will be periods where I just cant do anything.

 

i want this girl in my life, but it can never be friendship, has to be more.

[Lois]

It may serve you well to remember; you don't always get what you want.

[spaniard]

yeah 4 months, and im still raw

 

5 months on Thursday. The pain has gone, only some sadness has remained somewhere deep inside. Funny. Apart from this forum, noone on Earth knows that I still love her. She doesn't know it either and probably thinks that I'm long over her.

 

She contacted me a week ago asking how I was, I replied something short and polite.

 

Life is going on.

[coans]

It has been just about five months since my break up and I can't say it is easier really but just more real. I think the person who is four months and still raw is probably letting the contacting her really hurt...I sent one email last week and it was business related and I felt like I should have gotten a one sentence Thank you..or something. I got nothing for my one email and it bothered me for three days. I kept thinking how could one "no reply" after five months bother me so much. So...even though you are being good at only sending an email every six days I think it is just hurting you more.

 

do you think the person has a new person in their life? mine does...so that makes it more humiliating to email and less easy to have hope...but I have all those feelings too...I still have a bit of hope. and in a way it is definitely emptier without him for sure.

 

but the thing is they are not answering back. it is a sign...try diving into a site that really helps you take all the steps you need to get "back into your body" as someone called it. I think, like me, we are just floating above the reality that is now our lives. I think you have to get back into your own body and start living again. Don't give up hope but just don't hit send for awhile...give it a rest..you will actually find some peace in this.

[frederickkk]

i will find peace....but im battling whilst shes at uni, meeting new people, and we had a mature relationship for two years, but i was unhappy at university, and it went tits up.

 

 

 

i cant let her go.

 

 

she knows this.

 

 

i know its a sign, but i override it.

 

i will do whatever it takes to get this girl back.

 

i cant even leave the country go abroad travel meet new people, that is letting her go.

 

its not happening, because i know she loves me.

[frederickkk]

ive been making music all the time, going to the gym, going on runs, but none of it helps.

 

 

the only resolve in my head is that we get back together.

 

i dont know why its like this for me.

 

i could go out there, meet someone....

 

but what would be the point.

 

i met her and was like boom this is it.

 

 

i will never fight for someone so hard ever again

 

i havent slept tonight, its 5.30am UK time, but im up at half 7, coffeed up, and im going to smash the **** out of my day. finish 3 tracks, which WILL get signed by a major, and run the fat off.

[frederickkk]

maybe i should send an email telling her i am now moving on?

 

maybe that and 6 long months of no contact might sort her out?

 

love is there, she wont get over it, too deep a person.

[lakerman34]

Dude, real talk:

 

I'm sure my ex still has feelings for me too. I can see it in her eyes whenever we cross paths. She has a new boyfriend, and may even have feelings for him, but I can read her eyes like no one else can, and there is still something there. She and I don't even look at each other. I'd be fine w/ saying 'hi' and moving on with our days, but because she's too weak to, I've given up trying.

 

What you have to do is say F it, and move on. If she loves you, she'll find her way back to you, but it's very likely over. You need to change your attitude about it and realize that it's over. Stop emailing her. Completely. Get rid of Facebook and Twitter or any other social media sites that you can find information about her. Trust me, it's for the best.

 

Don't just DOUBLE, but TRIPLE your efforts to not cross paths with her. When I did this, I did SO much better with my recovery effort.

 

She might be with a new boy soon. Just be aware of this, and don't do anything stupid. If she contacts you to let you know, be happy for her and excuse yourself from the conversation. NEVER let her see weakness.

 

I hope you've thrown away any pictures/gifts/reminders you have of her. Take a basket, walk around your house and ANYTHING that reminds you of her, toss it (unless it's a game-signed NFL football or something like that. Keep that ).

 

Any thing that's hers, do as I did. Put it in a box, and leave it on her doorstep. I went at a time that I KNEW she wouldn't be there.

 

This one's gone, buddy. Go see a counselor if you need to, and keep telling yourself that she, at some point, was attracted to you and there are a few billion other women on the planet. There are QUITE a FEW that are waiting for a guy like you and will blow your ex out of the water.

 

She might play games. Don't fall for them, and don't do what I did and retaliate. Always smile and move on.

 

Don't rebound either.

 

Just find a hobby, chill with your bros, workout a whole lot, and ENJOY YOU! Your happiness is contingent on YOU, not some girl.

 

Also, an exercise I found useful was taking a picture of her and putting it face down. Then, think of EVERYTHING NEGATIVE that you possibly can. You can also get friends to help you out with this one (I find that girls are more brutal than guys. They were bashing my ex like I couldn't even tell you). Then, flip the picture over and associate all those negative things to her face. Now I look at my ex when I see her in passing, and I see her as a sweaty sorority girl. I don't know why I ever thought she was attractive.

 

Just do you, man. Don't half-ass NC, go ALL-IN NC, and you'll be over her in no time.

[frederickkk]

Dude, real talk:

 

I'm sure my ex still has feelings for me too. I can see it in her eyes whenever we cross paths. She has a new boyfriend, and may even have feelings for him, but I can read her eyes like no one else can, and there is still something there. She and I don't even look at each other. I'd be fine w/ saying 'hi' and moving on with our days, but because she's too weak to, I've given up trying.

 

What you have to do is say F it, and move on. If she loves you, she'll find her way back to you, but it's very likely over. You need to change your attitude about it and realize that it's over. Stop emailing her. Completely. Get rid of Facebook and Twitter or any other social media sites that you can find information about her. Trust me, it's for the best.

 

Don't just DOUBLE, but TRIPLE your efforts to not cross paths with her. When I did this, I did SO much better with my recovery effort.

 

She might be with a new boy soon. Just be aware of this, and don't do anything stupid. If she contacts you to let you know, be happy for her and excuse yourself from the conversation. NEVER let her see weakness.

 

I hope you've thrown away any pictures/gifts/reminders you have of her. Take a basket, walk around your house and ANYTHING that reminds you of her, toss it (unless it's a game-signed NFL football or something like that. Keep that ).

 

Any thing that's hers, do as I did. Put it in a box, and leave it on her doorstep. I went at a time that I KNEW she wouldn't be there.

 

This one's gone, buddy. Go see a counselor if you need to, and keep telling yourself that she, at some point, was attracted to you and there are a few billion other women on the planet. There are QUITE a FEW that are waiting for a guy like you and will blow your ex out of the water.

 

She might play games. Don't fall for them, and don't do what I did and retaliate. Always smile and move on.

 

Don't rebound either.

 

Just find a hobby, chill with your bros, workout a whole lot, and ENJOY YOU! Your happiness is contingent on YOU, not some girl.

 

Also, an exercise I found useful was taking a picture of her and putting it face down. Then, think of EVERYTHING NEGATIVE that you possibly can. You can also get friends to help you out with this one (I find that girls are more brutal than guys. They were bashing my ex like I couldn't even tell you). Then, flip the picture over and associate all those negative things to her face. Now I look at my ex when I see her in passing, and I see her as a sweaty sorority girl. I don't know why I ever thought she was attractive.

 

Just do you, man. Don't half-ass NC, go ALL-IN NC, and you'll be over her in no time.

 

 

 

cant throw away stuff. i have a ring here....she knows how much she means to me. and she gave mixed messages in october.

 

if i find out there is someone else. that is when i let go, but i cant let go . man, i cant do it. i could drop all the stuff at her house. but that is the hardest thing to do.... i cant do it, im sorry.

 

she was agressive, fought with me, had scratch marks that kind of thing.

 

but i dont care, i love this girl, i fell for her hard.

[lakerman34]

I don't mean to play hardball with you, but as long as you have that attitude, your going to continue to hurt yourself. Man, you should be doing what you can to MOVE ON.

 

When I was dumped, I left KNOWING that my ex was going to come back to me. We loved each other too much. Well, I got A LOT of hints from her friends, but it NEVER happened. Once you make healing yourself THE PRIORITY, you BEGIN the 'get-over-her' process.

 

PLEASE do yourself this favor, and realize it's over. There is a better girl out there for you. Believe me. She may not show up at your door tomorrow, but you'll find her when you least expect it. Just trust me.

 

We ALL fall for our girls hard. Breakup is hard on ALL of us. But it's a part of life, and it's actually a really beautiful thing when you think about it. You get to see where you went wrong in the relationship, and get to work on it (she also made a lot of mistakes too, but that's for her to worry about). It's actually kind of awesome knowing that you are MAKING YOURSELF BETTER. What better way to get back at your ex but by making yourself better and correcting any flaws?

 

LOVE being single, man. Do what you couldn't do when you had a girlfriend. YOU make your happiness, NOT some girl! Once you get this drilled in your head, girls will come to you, trust me.

Edited December 3, 2012 by lakerman34

[frederickkk]

I don't mean to play hardball with you, but as long as you have that attitude, your going to continue to hurt yourself. Man, you should be doing what you can to MOVE ON.

 

When I was dumped, I left KNOWING that my ex was going to come back to me. We loved each other too much. Well, I got A LOT of hints from her friends, but it NEVER happened. Once you make healing yourself THE PRIORITY, you BEGIN the 'get-over-her' process.

 

PLEASE do yourself this favor, and realize it's over. There is a better girl out there for you. Believe me. She may not show up at your door tomorrow, but you'll find her when you least expect it. Just trust me.

 

I can't understand why she is being so anal about it? oh yeah, because i overreacted texting her and she changed her number.

 

she will be evaluating her decision every day.

 

this breakup doesnt make sense, and has no grounding, and im telling you now man, if i found out she was with somebody else, id then move on.

 

 

the problem i have is this: if i stop emailing her "he doesnt care anymore"

if i keep emailing her "did this with his first ex"

 

her birthday is on boxing day, if i email her "**** whys he emailing me?"

 

if i dont, her mates, family "he never gave a ****".

 

see the dilemma im in? i cant win, and she will be back here soon for xmas, and i either go out and try and see her, or i leave it. right now im out of shape, not at my best, so best not.

 

and the gym prob isnt going to happen today as im ****ed from no sleep.

[portableversion]

i was with my ex for 17 yrs. I have to go nc. its the only way but impossible since we have 2 kids together. but its only gonna be about the kids. today she did give me some small talk i tried my best to say nothing at all. she told me how she told her dad how she went to alaska to shag her boyfrind in the army for a whole week. she said i dont know why im telling you this i said well i went to church today so im ok. Heck just last week i had 2 days of serious crying spells. i goto group called surving divorce, people in my situation have been know to cry over this crap for a couple of years. they told me i could be messed up for about 2-5 yrs, snice we were together for so long. ive done this on various occasions where i just try to remmeber all the things that really drove me nuts in the relationship, but then ill remember all the good times. love hurts and being rejected by somone u love is no good at all. in several ways i had rejected her too but with therapy and group and other things ive seen waht garbade i did to ruin things and how i had a lousy attitude and took various things for granted. i wish i couldve gotten better help earlier to remove my confusions and dealt with my lust in a better way. but so far it does seem that the less i see her or hear her voice the better i feel. but who knows i have a feeling 2 weeks from now ill be crying again. ive seen the nature of my mistakes and have seen awy to fix them and be different and be a better person. i guess it makes no difference now. i just wish she had never told me the things she said after our divorce like she misses me and thinks of us getting back together. i asked her about that the other day and she said well i wish we could get back together but i wish to win the lottery too. i thougt that was so bogus she never buys lottery tickets, i atleast buy a scratch off or 2 every week and bought some of the draw tickets the other day. i feel fixing a relationship would be so much easier than winning the lottery. if she wanted to do it she would make a serious effort and not just throw words at me. ive been around people who have brought divorced couples back together. she dont want it so i just have to forget it i must increase efforts to not think about her or talk to her. its about the kids only. next challenge next time it gets beyond kid talk ill have to tell her im busy and dont have the time. this has been the absolutley most painful thing i have ever experieced in my life. nothing has brought me so close to suicide as this. it would have been easier to be dead than to deal with this

[YorickBrown]

@frederickkk: Kudos to you for getting the "physical" aspect of starting the recover process: running laps, going to the gym etc. This is certainly great, so that you'll be physically exhausted (at some point) to "think" about her. But it would be better if the "sports" you're into would also require some "mental" or "competitive" excercise...you know, a team sport like basketball, rugby, hockey, soccer, football (american) etc. or even just tennis or squash or mma/boxing or polo (although if you play this you're probably loaded and she would not have left you...kidding! ) The key is to keep both your body & mind so much pre-occupied that you wont get the chance to think about her.

 

Also, NC is NC...No Compromise. DO NOT EVER ever contact her in any way, shape or form...even if she's the one contacting you (deactivate your FB already). Ignore, keep away, sell off, give away, or burn everything that makes you remember her. I know, its almost impossible for you do it right now...so have somebody else do it for you (duh!). Finally, if all else fails....there are always....hookers!!! (they actually "kill two birdies with one stone" --both your physical needs and emotional needs should get met...although dont start crying when you're doing the dirty deed...that's just pathetic)

[frederickkk]

i was with my ex for 17 yrs. I have to go nc. its the only way but impossible since we have 2 kids together. but its only gonna be about the kids. today she did give me some small talk i tried my best to say nothing at all. she told me how she told her dad how she went to alaska to shag her boyfrind in the army for a whole week. she said i dont know why im telling you this i said well i went to church today so im ok. Heck just last week i had 2 days of serious crying spells. i goto group called surving divorce, people in my situation have been know to cry over this crap for a couple of years. they told me i could be messed up for about 2-5 yrs, snice we were together for so long. ive done this on various occasions where i just try to remmeber all the things that really drove me nuts in the relationship, but then ill remember all the good times. love hurts and being rejected by somone u love is no good at all. in several ways i had rejected her too but with therapy and group and other things ive seen waht garbade i did to ruin things and how i had a lousy attitude and took various things for granted. i wish i couldve gotten better help earlier to remove my confusions and dealt with my lust in a better way. but so far it does seem that the less i see her or hear her voice the better i feel. but who knows i have a feeling 2 weeks from now ill be crying again. ive seen the nature of my mistakes and have seen awy to fix them and be different and be a better person. i guess it makes no difference now. i just wish she had never told me the things she said after our divorce like she misses me and thinks of us getting back together. i asked her about that the other day and she said well i wish we could get back together but i wish to win the lottery too. i thougt that was so bogus she never buys lottery tickets, i atleast buy a scratch off or 2 every week and bought some of the draw tickets the other day. i feel fixing a relationship would be so much easier than winning the lottery. if she wanted to do it she would make a serious effort and not just throw words at me. ive been around people who have brought divorced couples back together. she dont want it so i just have to forget it i must increase efforts to not think about her or talk to her. its about the kids only. next challenge next time it gets beyond kid talk ill have to tell her im busy and dont have the time. this has been the absolutley most painful thing i have ever experieced in my life. nothing has brought me so close to suicide as this. it would have been easier to be dead than to deal with this

 

I feel exactly the same as you, it would be easier to be dead. Man that ****ing sucks.

****. i had a 7 year relationship, and i got over it. I wont get over this one.

 

this was two years, and no ****ing way.

[GraceisGone]

We've all been there. You get that last shread of hope, for me, it was my ex texting me everyday like she used to, making me feel like we were getting back together after a month of not talking to her. Then she went distant again. And I fought to stay in contact her, I still texted her. But there has to come a point where you just say enough is enough.

 

By emailing her, and her never responding, you are only causing yourself to look weak. Trust me, if your relationship meant anything to her, she won't forget you. But emailing her every so often is just helping her move on, it showing she still has control over you and your emotions. Obviously it's true, she does still have control over your emotions, but don't let her see that. Don't contact her, at all.

 

Don't wait for her to date someone else for you to start moving on. Start moving on NOW. I hate to be harsh, but it's going to happen, she's going to date other people. She didn't get out of your relationship so she could just sit on her hands for the rest of her life. I know it sucks, but you have to realize that it's going to happen, and it isn't smart to wait around for it to happen before you work on yourself.

 

 

I know it's hard, but you need to focus on yourself. Sometimes, I feel like I never want to let go of the sadness I feel about my ex, because it's the last connection I have with our great relationship. But you've got to move on, you have to do what is best for you.

 

IF she were to ever have a change of heart, it won't come from you emailing her every week. It will come from you letting go and proving to her she doesn't control you anymore. She can't realize what she has lost, if you are still contacting her. Fake it till you make it, and do what is best for YOU.

Edited December 3, 2012 by GraceisGone

[coans]

it sounds like the person writing here (fredrickk) is still young ..but don't make that mistake of being like hurt for life or simply too confused and upset I guess to see what you are doing. I think you are putting this girl on a pedestal like she was flawless ...perfect..and absolutely the ONE for you. I think you should read the post I found today. This guy makes a lot of sense...I am copying it here:

 

 

The journey to this point has been up and down. At times it could be fairly brutal. This is what I have come to realize in the past two years and I call them the three rules, you can apply them to everything.

 

Rule 1 - Nothing is as it seems.

 

- Pretty simple, period. Your happy neighbors next door, your parents, and even your spouse - you really don't have a clear idea of the true reality of things. You build up ideas in your head based on your perceptions of others. People fake it, and your mind takes broad liberties when filling in the blanks. Let me put it this way.. If I pulled up next to you in my hummer with one of my hot female friends, you wouldn't think I like to suck d*ck. Nothing is as it seems. Moving on...

 

Rule 2 - Possession and desire are mutually exclusive.

 

- 'Huh?' you say - Ya, ok let me put it this way. The hottest Guy / Girl is usually the one that is waving good-bye. Rule 2 is my favourite, cause its so true. We want what we can't have, and when we have it we tend to not want it is much anymore or take it for granted. That extra hard longing you feel is cause they just kicked ur ass to the curb. You have the blinders on and you are kneeling before that idealized version of them you have placed high up on that pedestal in your mind.

 

Rule 3 - Expectations are the source of disappointment.

 

- I know it sounds cynical, but all roads lead here. Im sure you are doing mental gymnastics right now, imagining how he or she is the one and its meant to be and things are gonna be different and you will change etc. etc. etc. Keep doing it.. keep building up the dream cause ur just gonna crash harder when you fall from those lofty heights. And there is NOTHING wrong with that.... there is a process you go thru.. and it sucks ass, but sadly there is no short cut.

 

Additional doses of reality:

 

(A) There is no such thing as the one. im sorry.. if you believe that you're.. well.. dumb, and f*cking your self in the long run. Dan Savage puts it best.... there is no "the one." there are "ones"... actually more like .84s and you round up to 1.0, cause you don't settle down without a little settling for. I sold myself on that one bull**** too... then while dating over the last two years, I learned that I could love new people and experience new things. Keep in mind i did this while still living a fairly domestic life with my ex and still loving him as well. I can guarnete you it will never be the same... ever, but it is different. I love my ex and always will, and im sure he loves me still too in his way, but our time is done.

 

(B) Nothing is meant to be. There is no master plan.. its all f*cking random. You aren't entitled to anything, you aren't suppoed to be living a better life, there isn't a purpose or a specifically designed lesson for your current suffereing... it just is. Im sure a lot of you religious folk are coming off the ground right now... save me the sermon I really don't care. All one has to do it look around at the world.... there are millions of people who got the real short end of the stick when they turned up on this planet; Severely handicapp, raped and brutally killed as children.. things along those lines - so If there is someone with some "master plan" for us all, well he either is completely incompetent, or just really doesn't give a f*ck. And don't give me the 'free will' talk, that is a lazy cop-out blanket excuse that is the arguement of last resort invoked by the pious.

 

© People don't change. They don't. People can alter their behaviour or beliefs, but they don't change their core personality traits. Understand these do evolve with age, but they don't drift very far from where they started.

 

So there we go.

 

What you are feeling now really comes down to attachment. Its a natual human experience that is necessary for the survival of our species. Its part of us all and its a force to be reckoned with.. Letting go is hard, what can I say. But thats life. Nothing lasts forever - not you nor I.

 

Things do get better. You won't wake up one day having turned a corner and everything is smooth sailing from there on in. I still have my dark days now and then but it improves.

 

I don't care if you like what I have had to say or don't. Its my experience and what I think. Its not right, its not wrong. Its just some guy thats come thru lifes a** hole, and sharing his take on it all.I haven't gone into a lot of detail about the events that unfolded for me, but rest assured its made for tv movie worthy. Luckily most of you arent going to have to endure what I did. So I can assure you... you are going to be ok.

[winstonsdreams]

Fred you have to listen to everyone here about NC, they are all on the money man. Also realise we have all been there, but you got to break all contact, until you don't care if you hear from her again.

 

It is the only way, please read and understand what everyone here is trying to say. Lakerman34 got it perfect, she will be with someone sooner than you think or want to believe, ignorance is bliss, get her out of your head, see a professional, hell i did.

 

I saw a psycholgist for months, it helped so much. Dude everyone here is right, we are all here to help out. You will move on, you will buddy, hang in there! Dude i am not 100% over my ex, but if i didn't follow some of the advice i get on here i would have made an d*** of myself many times and still be in bad shape!

[jwhite]

I had to check if i replied to this one.

 

You have contacted her way too much. Everytime you do it is like you are still talking to her.

 

Go NC! Real NC means BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK.

[frederickkk]

again guys, if she is with someone else, i will give everything back.

 

i keep the contact up because, since the breakup, she has clearly loved the attention, i just went overboard texting her.

 

i wont be making any efforts to go to her home town xmas time (7 miles away).

 

im at home, working full time on music, yet again not sleeping, but oh well, keep going.

 

 

dont need a professional. i can get her out of my head. i keep it to every 5/6 days....with an email, a complete contrast to sending her 82 texts in a single day, then confronting her demanding answers.

 

if the emails are filtered, then wahey great, but this is a 19 year old girl, who doesnt know what she wants, im 25, and im not losing her. far too important, and i state this in emails.

 

if you met her, you would see where im coming from.

 

 

i can quite honestly say i wont have a relationship with anyone else, no im not putting her on a pedestal, do you know why? because i cant reach the ****ing pedestal, shes ****ing incredible, and i know it, and it ****ing sucks, but i wont quit fighting.

[jwhite]

Aright romeo. Keep us posted. I would love to hear your success story:)

[frederickkk]

i will...i know i should do what everyone is telling me on these forums....but if you sat down with me in a room, a deep conversation would be had.

 

 

im not going with the norms this time.

[lakerman34]

Man, I'm 22 and my ex is 19. Fact of the matter is, THEY ARE 19! Maturity wise, you ex is about 15 years younger than you.

 

A 19 year old in a serious relationship is a problem. They are still babies. They want excitement, to party, commitment is WAY too much to ask from a 19 year old, man. Trust me, a 19 year old that is 100% committed is not nearly as good as a 25 year old 80% committed.

 

Everything my 19 year old baby did at the beginning of the relationship I thought was cute and adorable. But that's because she was MY baby. Now, in hindsight, I remember the 'cute' things she'd done, and realize they were actually rather annoying. Shooting water guns at me, pressing all the buttons on the elevator, honking the car horn on a Dunkin' Donuts run at 5 in the morning. Just cute at the time, but hadn't she been my girl, I'd think it's all rather annoying.

 

Come to that realization, man. Now I TURN DOWN girls under 21. They just aren't on our level. And my girl I actually thought was MATURE for her age, and she PROBABLY WAS. She had to take care of her brothers and sisters, she goes to a GREAT school and is doing well, she has A LOT of responsibility, but at the end of the day, SHE'S A FRIGGIN 19 YEARS OLD KID.

 

When you realize this and drill it in your head, and go 100% NC and QUIT IT WITH THE EMAILS, you'll be well on your way to getting over her.

[frederickkk]

yeah she is a kid....maybe hard no contact on her ass....i did try everything though.....i did everything....

[lakerman34]

yeah she is a kid....maybe hard no contact on her ass....i did try everything though.....i did everything....

 

If you're not 100% STRICT NC, then you haven't tried everything. Time to let this one go, man. You're young. A MUCH better girl will show up before you know it.

 

Girls are like cars. There's always a better one around the corner.

[Renard99]

Fred, I know you aren't going to listen to this advice....... but I'll say it anyway.

 

The only time you need to pay attention to getting her back is if she actually comes to you and says 'I want to get back together with you'. Until that point you MUST assume that she is lost to you and you must also assume that she's with someone else (even if you haven't heard anything to say so).

 

Your attempts to change her mind will be fruitless. It's her mind and it's made up. Just look at your situation, we are all telling you that you're doing the wrong thing to persue her but you are admant that you're right to keep going at her until she changes her mind. How is you telling her that you should be together and her silence telling you otherwise any different. Look where it's got you so far..... nowhere on both counts

 

I know this break up business is hard but you're just making it harder on yourself all the time