its been 4 months

[YorickBrown]

@Fred,

 

Ok, I give up...so that's a no on NC for you huh?!? Sure, you said you already "tried" everything..like every conceivable type of NC (although in my book, there is only one)...and yet, here we are on LS....so, instead of "lecturing" you on the pitfalls of what you're currently doing (which is really pathetic..but hey, whatever)...Can you please kindly elaborate on the following:

 

1.) Can you describe this girl of yours? Physical and personality-wise (use some actress to compare her with so we'd get a better picture) You seem so smitten by her, it has peaked my "curiousity".

 

2) How long have the two of you been "officially" in a relationship? Not including the time you've just been "friends". State how long you've been friends also. Do you have any other friends that are girls...i mean, currently?

 

3) How many times have you had sex with her? Describe it...i mean, generally state how it was for her and for you... and when was the last time you had it uhmm.. "so good"... Or, wait..have you had sex already?!?

 

4)Were you a "virgin" before you had sex with this girl of yours? Also, was she a virgin? Hey, I know both seem to be "stupid" questions...since she's 19 and your 25...but just call me crazy and answer the questions.

 

Look, im sorry if the questions seem so personal (especially the last two ones), although, it may be the most important one of the lot...you can "fudge" a little of course, but it may be the reason(s) why you cant seem to get "over" this girl.

[cavalier99]

Frederikk. She changed her number a long time ago so you couldnt stalk her. Also i guarantee the emails are automaticly going to the junk folder. How many more month are you going to continue this?

 

You need to tie your self up and destroy all electronics in you possession. Im thinking you need forced NC. Like 1 month lock down.

 

Now that being said i do see some progress. But quite frankly this could take years for you to recover if you continue this way. And yes I GUARANTEE she is with someone else and most likely getting nailed right now and lovin it.

 

Heal yourself frederikk. Deep down you know she will NEVER get back with you. When are you going to accept this?

Edited December 4, 2012 by cavalier99

[cavalier99]

Im reading this thread again and think you are trolling with a new set of ls members. I mean I could be wrong but either way im going to just watch and enjoy.

[spaniard]

frederickkkk, you are just like me in the first TWO WEEKS after the break up.

 

goddamit, man, don't you feel it's just enough of the self-pity?

 

maybe i should send an email telling her i am now moving on?

 

maybe that and 6 long months of no contact might sort her out?

 

love is there, she wont get over it, too deep a person.

 

MAYBE you should accept the FACT that she is over you. she doesn't have a boyfriend now because probably she enjoys f***king around.

 

she blocked your number, never replies your mails, she probably laughs at you how weak you are, what else do you want?

[frederickkk]

Fred, I know you aren't going to listen to this advice....... but I'll say it anyway.

 

The only time you need to pay attention to getting her back is if she actually comes to you and says 'I want to get back together with you'. Until that point you MUST assume that she is lost to you and you must also assume that she's with someone else (even if you haven't heard anything to say so).

 

Your attempts to change her mind will be fruitless. It's her mind and it's made up. Just look at your situation, we are all telling you that you're doing the wrong thing to persue her but you are admant that you're right to keep going at her until she changes her mind. How is you telling her that you should be together and her silence telling you otherwise any different. Look where it's got you so far..... nowhere on both counts

 

I know this break up business is hard but you're just making it harder on yourself all the time

 

i know.......

[frederickkk]

@Fred,

 

Ok, I give up...so that's a no on NC for you huh?!? Sure, you said you already "tried" everything..like every conceivable type of NC (although in my book, there is only one)...and yet, here we are on LS....so, instead of "lecturing" you on the pitfalls of what you're currently doing (which is really pathetic..but hey, whatever)...Can you please kindly elaborate on the following:

 

1.) Can you describe this girl of yours? Physical and personality-wise (use some actress to compare her with so we'd get a better picture) You seem so smitten by her, it has peaked my "curiousity".

 

Hot. not the hottest. attractive. sings. next big thing possibly. actress.....cant think.

 

2) How long have the two of you been "officially" in a relationship? Not including the time you've just been "friends". State how long you've been friends also. Do you have any other friends that are girls...i mean, currently?

2 years...met her 6 months prior in an art gallery.....there was a connection, she pinched my arm as she left, we spoke for 3 hours that night. Just knew.

3) How many times have you had sex with her? Describe it...i mean, generally state how it was for her and for you... and when was the last time you had it uhmm.. "so good"... Or, wait..have you had sex already?!?

 

when i was at uni with her, we slept together every single night. all year. every night was sex.

 

4)Were you a "virgin" before you had sex with this girl of yours? Also, was she a virgin? Hey, I know both seem to be "stupid" questions...since she's 19 and your 25...but just call me crazy and answer the questions.

 

i wasnt, she was.

 

Look, im sorry if the questions seem so personal (especially the last two ones), although, it may be the most important one of the lot...you can "fudge" a little of course, but it may be the reason(s) why you cant seem to get "over" this girl.

 

answers there for you.

[frederickkk]

Frederikk. She changed her number a long time ago so you couldnt stalk her. Also i guarantee the emails are automaticly going to the junk folder. How many more month are you going to continue this?

 

You need to tie your self up and destroy all electronics in you possession. Im thinking you need forced NC. Like 1 month lock down.

 

Now that being said i do see some progress. But quite frankly this could take years for you to recover if you continue this way. And yes I GUARANTEE she is with someone else and most likely getting nailed right now and lovin it.

 

Heal yourself frederikk. Deep down you know she will NEVER get back with you. When are you going to accept this?

 

 

dont think emails are going to junk. changed her number because i ended up texting her every day fighting for it again after bumping into her. lost the plot.

 

deep down i dont know that. if i knew, if i thought wow ok, then yeah, but i know it can be rekindled, she just has to want it, and right now, she doesnt.

[frederickkk]

Im reading this thread again and think you are trolling with a new set of ls members. I mean I could be wrong but either way im going to just watch and enjoy.

 

im 25, if i was a ****ing troll i wouldnt take my time to reply to all of these messages.

[frederickkk]

frederickkkk, you are just like me in the first TWO WEEKS after the break up.

 

goddamit, man, don't you feel it's just enough of the self-pity?

 

 

 

MAYBE you should accept the FACT that she is over you. she doesn't have a boyfriend now because probably she enjoys f***king around.

 

she blocked your number, never replies your mails, she probably laughs at you how weak you are, what else do you want?

 

shes not laughing....not that type.

[frederickkk]

moving on is the scariest ****ing thing, and if i decide to, i will go round to her mums/dads and drop everything off at either house. the bravest thing i will ever have to do.

[frederickkk]

this girl was properly in love with me, so it doesnt make sense.

 

 

 

 

everything she gave, did for me.

 

 

 

 

none of it makes sense.

[frederickkk]

and yeah if she is ****ing someone else, words cant describe how that feels, but at the same time, by emailing her, it keeps me in her head

[spaniard]

this girl was properly in love with me, so it doesnt make sense.

 

everything she gave, did for me.

 

none of it makes sense.

 

yeah, sometimes it makes no sense. my ex was mad about me, she simply couldn't exist without me and she was crying a whole lot of time when I was away in another city because of my studies. that was in march. in june she told me that she had absolutely no feelings towards me, but she had been out of love in may, I'm pretty sure about that.

 

yeah, it hurt like hell, and made no sense for me either, but slowly, by 2-3 months after the break up I accepted it. it was hard, really hard to accept that the same girl who was in love with me... well, to her I'm totally indifferent now.

 

but I guess, that's just how life works. after I accepted the whole thing, it became SO much easier. ofc, sometimes when she contacts me out of nowhere it causes me a few short sad hours, but I'm fine now, happy and successful.

 

frederickkk, you need to understand that everyone here suffered just like you in the begininng of this whole crap. but we are trying hard, every single one of us here wants to move on. and it has to start with FACING THE FACTS LIKE A MAN. even if you are a woman

 

you should do this. it makes no sense, I know, but she doesn't love you anymore.

[cavalier99]

moving on is the scariest ****ing thing, and if i decide to, i will go round to her mums/dads and drop everything off at either house. the bravest thing i will ever have to do.

 

Hang in there man. Don't drop anything off. Toss it. Or mail it.

[geegirl]

shes not laughing....not that type.

 

C'mon now. You posted her friends were laughing at you and that you were the butt of jokes. I'll have to look for that thread.

[frederickkk]

C'mon now. You posted her friends were laughing at you and that you were the butt of jokes. I'll have to look for that thread.

 

yeah.........immaturity more than anything.

[frederickkk]

she gave me a guitar. ill smash the thing to **** if i have to.

[frederickkk]

im sorry guys, i appreciate the support.

 

i keep reliving it, and im too scared to come out.

 

why? because this girl is ****ing amazing. in every possible way.

 

you would understand if you met her.

 

im prob going to email her tomorrow.

 

im not quitting.

 

if any of you want to skype me, try and talk me out of doing it, then thats cool, just pm me.

[lakerman34]

Man. Breakup IS hard. It sucks.

 

Lemme tell you something. I thought I was A MESS during my breakup. I wasn't thinking straight AT ALL, I was SUPER emotional (when I'm regularly rather detached from my emotions), I was stressful and thought the world was against me, I just wasn't me.

 

I asked one of my best friends today how he thought I handled the breakup (I live with the guy and he saw me everyday). He's been through breakups too, so he know they are painful. His response: "You handled it like a boss." He told me that although I was crying, yelling, cussing, listening to sad music, not eating, and had difficulty studying, I tried hard to get through it, and yes, I did a few regretful things, but I never begged, never pleaded, never showed anyone else my emotions (aside from calling her a bitch, slut, whore to a mutual friend, but I doubt she reported that) and I GOT THROUGH.

 

How did I handle it 'like a boss?' Let me tell you, b/c I almost wish I was dumped via email. Would have made it even easier:

 

On D-Day, I had plans for her to meet my parents. And she did. But, on the car ride home from college, she dumped me. I got to my house, she met my ENTIRE family, ATE my food, and then I drove her back to school. We stopped for frozen yogurt, spoke about the relationship, and I informed her I was going to go NC and wanted to be friends with her down the line. She told me she loved me, I told her I loved her, and then we cried in each others' arms. I went home to my best friend and was in shock, and she called up her best friend, and she cried and drank her sorrows away.

 

How did I get over it in less than 2 months time and handle it 'like a boss?' I STUCK to my NC. I deleted her from Facebook, deleted her from Twitter, put her email address as SPAM, and deleted her number. On day 5 of breakup, she texted me asking why I was avoiding her like the plague (her exact words). She was very upset and confused by this. I told her I needed my space for some time. NEVER heard from her again, and b/c I STUCK to strict NC (once I saw her with another guy, I had the motivation to make it EVEN STRICTER i.e. avoiding places where she'd be, change my meal times so I didn't even see her at dining halls, NC'ed mutual friends) I got over her quickly. Also, talking to close girl friends helps A LOT. One of my best friends of 11 years told me that she was HAPPY I was out of that relationship because she saw that it brought me stress, and she thought the girl was superficial. She and I spoke for HOURS about the relationship, and she listened to me while holding my hand, watching me cry. Mind you, you have to be REAL close to the girl for her to do this haha. Anyways, girls are better support than guys, IMO. But, when it comes to bashing, hearing your bros who knew her best bash her feels great. Then you'll realize that she wasn't as ****ing amazing as you thought she was. She's just another girl. Get her down from that pedestal, and take off those rosy colored glasses.

 

This forum's mantra is NC, NC, NC. Anywhere you read 'if you want your ex back, don't completely NC' is full of ish. If for some reason she calls you tomorrow asking for you back, ALL the same issues will arise (trust me, they will, it's inevitable), and she will dump you AGAIN. Back to day 1 of recovery.

 

You don't want her. She's a little girl, you said so yourself. IDK if you're a troll or not haha, but either way, I'm going to tell you to MOVE ON.

 

Like 2Pac once famously said:

“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the f*** on.”

 

LIVE and BREATHE this mantra.

 

Also, PLEASE watch these 2 movies:

-Forgetting Sarah Marshall

-500 Days of Summer

 

These, to me, are by far and beyond the best breakup movies for guys. Both are kind of funny, but are so realistic in how guys (should) handle breakup. Except go NC. PLEASE go NC. The more you email her, the weaker you are in her eyes.

 

My ex CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT ME IN THE EYE right now. When I pass her, her eyes go right to the ground. Why is that? It's because I've intimidated her. During my relationship with her, she basically had me around her finger. I was (or, at least, thought I was) in love with her. In her eyes, I was EXTREMELY needy. What does it say that I never contacted her, not even once, post-breakup? I smile at her and she looks at the ground. She is SCARED, and I'm almost CERTAIN she knows that the new me is unobtainable to her. No way IN HELL is she good enough to date me now. She's a little girl, I'm a man (and, in college, real men are hard to come by. These are all very big boys).

 

I have a cardiothoracic surgery internship coming up in South Africa, I've taken on photography, I've grown up SO MUCH in the past 2 months. I turned down 3 BEAUTIFUL girls for the SOLE reason that they were too young and immature.

 

Get over her, man. NC. Write on these forums as much as you can. Trust me, it helps. She's one measly girl, you're better off with a girl who is 22, 23.

Edited December 5, 2012 by lakerman34

[frederickkk]

Man. Breakup IS hard. It sucks.

 

Lemme tell you something. I thought I was A MESS during my breakup. I wasn't thinking straight AT ALL, I was SUPER emotional (when I'm regularly rather detached from my emotions), I was stressful and thought the world was against me, I just wasn't me.

 

I asked one of my best friends today how he thought I handled the breakup (I live with the guy and he saw me everyday). He's been through breakups too, so he know they are painful. His response: "You handled it like a boss." He told me that although I was crying, yelling, cussing, listening to sad music, not eating, and had difficulty studying, I tried hard to get through it, and yes, I did a few regretful things, but I never begged, never pleaded, never showed anyone else my emotions (aside from calling her a bitch, slut, whore to a mutual friend, but I doubt she reported that) and I GOT THROUGH.

 

How did I handle it 'like a boss?' Let me tell you, b/c I almost wish I was dumped via email. Would have made it even easier:

 

On D-Day, I had plans for her to meet my parents. And she did. But, on the car ride home from college, she dumped me. I got to my house, she met my ENTIRE family, ATE my food, and then I drove her back to school. We stopped for frozen yogurt, spoke about the relationship, and I informed her I was going to go NC and wanted to be friends with her down the line. She told me she loved me, I told her I loved her, and then we cried in each others' arms. I went home to my best friend and was in shock, and she called up her best friend, and she cried and drank her sorrows away.

 

How did I get over it in less than 2 months time and handle it 'like a boss?' I STUCK to my NC. I deleted her from Facebook, deleted her from Twitter, put her email address as SPAM, and deleted her number. On day 5 of breakup, she texted me asking why I was avoiding her like the plague (her exact words). She was very upset and confused by this. I told her I needed my space for some time. NEVER heard from her again, and b/c I STUCK to strict NC (once I saw her with another guy, I had the motivation to make it EVEN STRICTER i.e. avoiding places where she'd be, change my meal times so I didn't even see her at dining halls, NC'ed mutual friends) I got over her quickly. Also, talking to close girl friends helps A LOT. One of my best friends of 11 years told me that she was HAPPY I was out of that relationship because she saw that it brought me stress, and she thought the girl was superficial. She and I spoke for HOURS about the relationship, and she listened to me while holding my hand, watching me cry. Mind you, you have to be REAL close to the girl for her to do this haha. Anyways, girls are better support than guys, IMO. But, when it comes to bashing, hearing your bros who knew her best bash her feels great. Then you'll realize that she wasn't as ****ing amazing as you thought she was. She's just another girl. Get her down from that pedestal, and take off those rosy colored glasses.

 

This forum's mantra is NC, NC, NC. Anywhere you read 'if you want your ex back, don't completely NC' is full of ish. If for some reason she calls you tomorrow asking for you back, ALL the same issues will arise (trust me, they will, it's inevitable), and she will dump you AGAIN. Back to day 1 of recovery.

 

You don't want her. She's a little girl, you said so yourself. IDK if you're a troll or not haha, but either way, I'm going to tell you to MOVE ON.

 

Like 2Pac once famously said:

“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the f*** on.”

 

LIVE and BREATHE this mantra.

 

Also, PLEASE watch these 2 movies:

-Forgetting Sarah Marshall

-500 Days of Summer

 

These, to me, are by far and beyond the best breakup movies for guys. Both are kind of funny, but are so realistic in how guys (should) handle breakup. Except go NC. PLEASE go NC. The more you email her, the weaker you are in her eyes.

 

My ex CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT ME IN THE EYE right now. When I pass her, her eyes go right to the ground. Why is that? It's because I've intimidated her. During my relationship with her, she basically had me around her finger. I was (or, at least, thought I was) in love with her. In her eyes, I was EXTREMELY needy. What does it say that I never contacted her, not even once, post-breakup? I smile at her and she looks at the ground. She is SCARED, and I'm almost CERTAIN she knows that the new me is unobtainable to her. No way IN HELL is she good enough to date me now. She's a little girl, I'm a man (and, in college, real men are hard to come by. These are all very big boys).

 

I have a cardiothoracic surgery internship coming up in South Africa, I've taken on photography, I've grown up SO MUCH in the past 2 months. I turned down 3 BEAUTIFUL girls for the SOLE reason that they were too young and immature.

 

Get over her, man. NC. Write on these forums as much as you can. Trust me, it helps. She's one measly girl, you're better off with a girl who is 22, 23.

 

Ok and what do I do with all this stuff? I have a ring here....deep down I can't believe that is it.

[lakerman34]

I have rings too. My dad was a jeweler. What's your point?

 

Save it for the next girl, buddy.

 

I've read your past posts in this forum, and either you're (no offense) an incredibly dense man OR you're a troll. Frankly, I'm hoping for the latter.

 

Look, we have ALL been screwed by girls. People get dumped EVERY day in EVERY moment. It's part of life. She ISN'T the one. There is NO SUCH THING AS THE ONE. There are a lot of girls out there, but you'll ONLY be able to go exploring once you're completely over this one. And you NEED to get completely over this one. You're on trek to spend YEARS getting over her.

 

One of my best friends was once in a 6 month relationship. It took him 2 years to get over that girl. She gave him a stuffed teddy bear, and he CARRIED IT WITH HIM FOR 2 YEARS WHEREVER HE WENT! 2 years to get over a 6 month relationship is BAD. Don't be like him.

 

I hope I'm not talking to a troll. Because it seems like I am, this will be my last post in this thread.

 

Take care. And NC. Do yourself that favor. Or suffer for a LONG time and get laughed at by your ex. Your choice.

[frederickkk]

no, not dense, just not giving in.

 

yep, i carried the ring around....

 

 

if i do go NC, i will have to get rid of it all. and never wish to hear from her again. i will move so far ahead i wont look back, but taking that first step , to be frank, is pretty ****ing mad when you know you wont top her.

 

its a good job the internet is reliable, because ill be using this forum for many years to come.

[winstonsdreams]

Bro you gotta let it go man, do not ever try email her again, don't drop her bloody stuff off, work on yourself, i am sorry but it is OVER, it is not going to happen mate.

 

We are all here in the same position, trust me! Dude NC means NC, block delete never talk to her again! JUST DO IT MAN! Give it time please believe us, time will help you will move on i am 1000% sure but not until you stop trying to contact her and pine away!

 

Dude this can either make or break you man, trust me i have had my heart broken many times and guess what i still get up in the morning! I am 29, i am single big f****** deal, i haven't met her yet. Dude if you let this beat you, you will never learn ever, i am telling you to man up, bro we are men! YOU CAN DO IT! OK?!

[Renard99]

no, not dense, just not giving in.

 

 

its a good job the internet is reliable, because ill be using this forum for many years to come.

 

 

By not giving in you are being dense! There is a time and a place when any intelligent, sane person would give up, even if they have been emotionally hurt.

You're like a boxer who's been knocked out and not only has the opponent left the ring, so has the ref, all the audience have gone home, the cleaners have been in and tidied up and security have come in and turned the lights out and locked all the doors, yet you're still there, moaning "give me a chance, one more round".

 

As for you being on this forum in years to come....... well maybe I suggest you start a blog instead. The reason I say this is that a) you may find it therapeutic and b) we can no longer help you on here. Time and time again we try and help, yet time and time again you ignore the advice. Maybe a blog will be a better way of getting everything off your chest without wasting people's time on here.

 

We want to help you, we really do, but you have to want to help yourself just as much, and, as much as you say you want help, your actions state otherwaise.

[Renard99]

this girl was properly in love with me, so it doesnt make sense.

 

 

 

 

everything she gave, did for me.

 

 

 

 

none of it makes sense.

 

The vital word there is WAS. She WAS in love with you but she is NO LONGER in love with you (and don't say that she is, if she was she'd be with you without question)

 

Yes, she did things for you and gave you things and that all made sense when she was love with you but you seem to think that 'once in love, always in love' and, therefore, the past has a direct relation to now. I'm afraid, when it comes to love, that's not the case.

It's like saying "My car was running yesterday, why isn't running today?" whilst completely ignoring the fuel light that's on the dashboard.