its been 4 months

[geegirl]

yeah.........immaturity more than anything.

 

You say she is not the "type" to laugh at you, but then after I point out that she and her friends did in fact laugh at your antics, you then justify it as immaturity.

 

Who cares if it's immaturity? She laughs at you. You know it. Period.

 

Don't romanticize her and say she's not the type. She is the type. Now if you can only start seeing her for who she is, one you yourself stated is manipulative, then maybe you will be able to move on. Instead you place her on a pedestal that she has no place being on.

 

You play victim. Woe is me. No one loves me. She's the greatest and life is over.

 

It's sick. Every thread is about the same thing.

 

When are you going to actually be proactive in letting go? How about you start a thread about Day One on your road to recovery.

 

No one can help you if you WANT to keep playing defenseless-forlorned-lovesick-obsessive-man. It's sad and unattractive, the repetitive defeatist attitude.

 

No woman or man is worth having to put your life on stand still, especially when they've moved on and most likely, forgotten about you. Find value in yourself.

Edited December 5, 2012 by geegirl

[frederickkk]

Another day of tears today.

 

Its been 5 months, and I am crying every day....someone tell me how not to be affected by it like that? Do I go to thailand for two months.....india....?

 

I honestly don't know.

 

My life isn't on hold.

 

I can be in the gym, 15 minutes through on an hour long x trainer session, and i stop, because im thinking about it. I have to stop....

 

Im making music, but she is on my mind.

 

Im not sleeping well either.

 

I am utterly destroyed....no, not going to do anything stupid, just destroyed.

[geegirl]

You are on "hold". You may be physically functioning but your emotional state is stagnant.

 

Go to Thailand. Go to India. Change your environment. Change your routine. Fill your life with new experiences. Meet healthy and different minded people. Immerse in exciting adventures. Gain perspective.

 

You have the opportunity, take it. Not many can just get up and go away for two months. Instead of sitting around and going through the motions, change the routine and go out there and live a little.

 

The only reason you are not going is because of her. You can't leave the country because you think you'll miss the chance if she comes back. You ARE putting your life on hold.

Edited December 5, 2012 by geegirl

[frederickkk]

im waiting so i can go WITH her....because there is a part of me, a gut feeling that she will come back....just not now...and id rather save my cash for when she does.

[geegirl]

im waiting so i can go WITH her....because there is a part of me, a gut feeling that she will come back....just not now...and id rather save my cash for when she does.

 

God help me and you. She does not want you. Period.

 

She has changed her number because of you. She has laughed at your antics. She told her friends of your foolishness. She hasn't answered one email.

 

Go and travel and reinvent yourself. If she comes back, one day you both can travel together.

 

YOU ARE PUTTING YOUR LIFE ON HOLD. PERIOD.

[cavalier99]

im waiting so i can go WITH her....because there is a part of me, a gut feeling that she will come back....just not now...and id rather save my cash for when she does.

 

Give the cash to me. Ill keep it safe and will return it the day she comes back! I promise.

[geegirl]

Two things you can do:

 

Let go or fester.

 

If you want to let go, then start making positive changes that revolve around your journey to recovery.

 

If you want to fester, there is nothing more anyone can say to you. You can post 729 threads, and it'll just be noise. Waste of space and effort on the part of posters repeating the same advice over and over again because of your need to be incessantly defeatist.

Edited December 5, 2012 by geegirl

[frederickkk]

ok, well heres the deal then, when i get the courage to take all this stuff back to her house, which i will, ill let you all know on here. for now, ill keep emailing every 5/6 days.

 

just sent 1 now, no "failed to send".

 

this girl wanted me with her, all day every single day, but there were times i couldnt be there for her, had to study, had other things to do before going to see her in evening....from that to this, where not a word from her, is unbelievable, but the thing is, i know im a good honest person, there isnt a bad bone in my body, and the two previous exs ive had, well, if i got in contact with them, im pretty sure they would say hi.

 

she will never get over me and this is why there is never a reply, she knows it will open it up.

 

maybe i should just ****ing chance it, go out in her home town at xmas time and try and see her.

[geegirl]

You pack her stuff and mail it. You stop emailing her. When I block someone, there is no error message. If she has blocked you, you get no error message. I bet she sits there laughing her ass of at your pathetic ways.

 

As a woman, if a man did this, I would be repulsed. I'm not your ex but I'm feeling sick for you.

 

We have all gone through break-ups. Nothing is guaranteed. I have had guys go silent and discard me like garbage. You think I kept contacting them? It doesn't matter if you have good bones. If she does not want to be with you, good bones or bad, it is what it is.

 

She will never get over you??? THAT IS WHY SHE CALLED THE POLICE ON YOU AND CHANGED HER NUMBER. What is wrong with you? Really?

 

Yes, go to her house. Please. I beg you. Go and see her. You'll have your answer. We can't give you anything more.

 

I'm starting to believe you're a troll.

Edited December 5, 2012 by geegirl

[jwhite]

Frederickkkk---

 

I'm sorry, but I can't help but smile when other people are on here posting ideas about how to help, but you just ignore it and write your sorrow blog:lmao:

 

DUDE! I think about my ex all friggin day! The times that I dont is like a gift from god.

 

Just admit that you are truly in LOVE with this girl, then go out and make her WANT you!

 

From experience, the ONLY way to make her want you is to go NC. She will be like, "wtf where did he go" and after a while miss you a lot! But it has to be CONSECUTIVE months of NC. Like 5 months.

 

AND

 

Work out like a mad man for 6 months. If you work out right--the Hypertrophy(look it up) way, 7 days a week and eat like crazy you will put on close to 10lbs of muscle in 6 weeks. 6 months=20lbs.

 

AND

 

READ. Books are for the mind as the wetstone is for the sword. The biggest ladies men READ. Start with stuff you find interesting...scifi, love stories, whatever.

 

Just make sure you do NOT CONTACT HER FOR AT LEAST 5 MONTHS!

 

If you do these things, and save your travel money, you WILL get her back! But if you break any of these rules, you wont.

 

You need to start a new thread. In a week come back with some changes!

 

If you are trolling that is messed up and someone should report ur A$$

Edited December 5, 2012 by jwhite

[frederickkk]

You pack her stuff and mail it. You stop emailing her. When I block someone, there is no error message. If she has blocked you, you get no error message. I bet she sits there laughing her ass of at your pathetic ways.

 

As a woman, if a man did this, I would be repulsed. I'm not your ex but I'm feeling sick for you.

 

We have all gone through break-ups. Nothing is guaranteed. I have had guys go silent and discard me like garbage. You think I kept contacting them? It doesn't matter if you have good bones. If she does not want to be with you, good bones or bad, it is what it is.

 

She will never get over you??? THAT IS WHY SHE CALLED THE POLICE ON YOU AND CHANGED HER NUMBER. What is wrong with you? Really?

 

Yes, go to her house. Please. I beg you. Go and see her. You'll have your answer. We can't give you anything more.

 

I'm starting to believe you're a troll.

changed her number because i went overboard on texts after she gave me mixed messages over a coffee back in october. couldve gone to the police a second time, but stopped, and she even joked over that over the coffee.

 

i dont want to see her, i just want to hand everything over, show her parents im moving on, and that she no longer has control of me emotionally. the day that happens is the gift from God.

[frederickkk]

Frederickkkk---

 

I'm sorry, but I can't help but smile when other people are on here posting ideas about how to help, but you just ignore it and write your sorrow blog:lmao:

 

DUDE! I think about my ex all friggin day! The times that I dont is like a gift from god.

 

Just admit that you are truly in LOVE with this girl, then go out and make her WANT you!

 

From experience, the ONLY way to make her want you is to go NC. She will be like, "wtf where did he go" and after a while miss you a lot! But it has to be CONSECUTIVE months of NC. Like 5 months.

 

AND

 

Work out like a mad man for 6 months. If you work out right--the Hypertrophy(look it up) way, 7 days a week and eat like crazy you will put on close to 10lbs of muscle in 6 weeks. 6 months=20lbs.

 

AND

 

READ. Books are for the mind as the wetstone is for the sword. The biggest ladies men READ. Start with stuff you find interesting...scifi, love stories, whatever.

 

Just make sure you do NOT CONTACT HER FOR AT LEAST 5 MONTHS!

 

If you do these things, and save your travel money, you WILL get her back! But if you break any of these rules, you wont.

 

You need to start a new thread. In a week come back with some changes!

 

If you are trolling that is messed up and someone should report ur A$$

 

 

ok 5 months no contact....i can do that....its her birthday boxing day.....if i say hb "still emailing me" if i dont "he never cared"

 

it was my birthday last month and i didnt hear from her.....how do i play this?

[geegirl]

changed her number because i went overboard on texts after she gave me mixed messages over a coffee back in october. couldve gone to the police a second time, but stopped, and she even joked over that over the coffee.

 

i dont want to see her, i just want to hand everything over, show her parents im moving on, and that she no longer has control of me emotionally. the day that happens is the gift from God.

 

Yes!!! Because she did not want to hear from you and be bothered by your incessant bothersome behavior. If she wanted to be with you, you wouldn't have had to go bananas texting. She would have entertained you, liked your communication and been with you.

 

Just because she didn't go to the police the second time is a good sign? Just going to the police is enough!

 

She joked about calling the police on you? What kind of person that loves someone thinks that's funny? She found it funny because you're a joke.

 

No control over you emotionally? Your threads from August till now is about your inability to move on!!!! Delusional. This is sick. You need professional help.

Edited December 5, 2012 by geegirl

[frederickkk]

Yes!!! Because she did not want to hear from you and be bothered by your incessant bothersome behavior. If she wanted to be with you, you wouldn't have had to go to bananas texting. She would have entertained you.

 

Just because she didn't go to the police the second time is a good sign? Just going to the police is enough!

 

She joked about calling the police on you? What kind of person that loves someone thinks that's funny? She found it funny because you're a joke.

 

No control over you emotionally? Your threads from August till now is about your inability to move on!!!! Delusional. This is sick. You need professional help.

 

if you are going to be rude, get the **** out of this forum.

[geegirl]

if you are going to be rude, get the **** out of this forum.

 

Maybe you should channel that aggression to the one that treats you like a joke, calls the police on you, changes her number and never even lets you know!

 

I'm not being rude. You really need professional help. This is toxic and unhealthy. You're delusional.

 

If you can take being treated like crap by this woman, my leaving this forum is not your problem.

 

You don't own the forum. At least know that.

[frederickkk]

im most certainly not sick.

[geegirl]

im most certainly not sick.

 

Emotionally sick and unhealthy. Get help. You need a professional to help you organize and help you understand your emotions and provide you with good coping skills. It's something you have to want for yourself because you identify you're in a toxic pattern. There is a reason your posts are repetitive for the past five months. And it's clear your self-esteem is damaged.

 

Good luck to you. I'll be leaving your threads, not the forum. Sorry to disappoint.

[lakerman34]

if you are going to be rude, get the **** out of this forum.

 

I said I wasn't going to respond anymore, but I just had to. Troll or not.

 

Geegirl is absolutely right.

 

I wish your ex would just tell you to stop contacting her and be adamant about it. It's the best thing she could do. She's probably afraid of what you might do to yourself if she did that though. Who knows.

 

But sending her emails every 5/6 days will NOT keep you on her mind in a POSITIVE way. On the contrary, your justifying her breaking up with you EVEN MORE. In her mind right now, she is saying 'geez, thank goodness I dumped him, can you believe he STILL sends me emails?'

 

Let me tell you something about getting an ex back. When my ex dumped me, for 2 weeks her BEST FRIENDS would tell me that she still LOVED me and WANTED ME BACK (something your ex hasn't done AT ALL). They told me that I needed to go to her, talk to her, and the relationship will begin anew.

 

You know what I did? I told her friends (this happened with, maybe, 6 of her friends, all on separate occasions) 'thank you for your help, but if she has anything to say to me, she can come and find me. She knows where I live. She dumped me. I'm moving on.'

 

It's 2+ months after breakup now, and she's with another guy, and her roommate STILL tells me that she has SOME feelings for me, and my name is still in her mouth (apparently she still talks about me and how she misses me from time to time). BUT I'm way too smart, way too proud, and way too strong to listen to her friends. If she REALLY wanted me back, and if I was really WORTH getting back to her, SHE would have come to ME. NOT the other way around.

 

If you are worth it to her (which, I'm sorry to say, all the email sending probably has made you blow any chance of any reconciliation, if such a chance existed) she would have come to you and pleaded to have you back. That is not the case.

 

I hate telling people to do this, but man up, NC, and get over her. There are BILLIONS more girls on this planet. And HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of them are better for you than your ex. Get over your ex so you can find them. Also, return that ring. Get rid of pictures/gifts/memories. Press the PERMANENTLY DELETE button on her in your life. The first 2 weeks are the hardest, but after that, it only gets better. Sometimes I felt like I would NEVER get better, but time DOES heal EVERYTHING. Believe in time.

[cavalier99]

Emotionally sick and unhealthy. Get help. You need a professional to help you organize and help you understand your emotions and provide you with good coping skills. It's something you have to want for yourself because you identify you're in a toxic pattern. There is a reason your posts are repetitive for the past five months. And it's clear your self-esteem is damaged.

 

Good luck to you. I'll be leaving your threads, not the forum. Sorry to disappoint.

 

Dont get sucked in geegirl. He is loving it. Im just here for the show eating popcorn.

[lakerman34]

frederickkk is probably WAY over his ex.

[geegirl]

Dont get sucked in geegirl. He is loving it. Im just here for the show eating popcorn.

 

I've always tried to help him but I'm with lakerman. It's futile.

[frederickkk]

I said I wasn't going to respond anymore, but I just had to. Troll or not.

 

Geegirl is absolutely right.

 

I wish your ex would just tell you to stop contacting her and be adamant about it. It's the best thing she could do. She's probably afraid of what you might do to yourself if she did that though. Who knows.

 

But sending her emails every 5/6 days will NOT keep you on her mind in a POSITIVE way. On the contrary, your justifying her breaking up with you EVEN MORE. In her mind right now, she is saying 'geez, thank goodness I dumped him, can you believe he STILL sends me emails?'

 

Let me tell you something about getting an ex back. When my ex dumped me, for 2 weeks her BEST FRIENDS would tell me that she still LOVED me and WANTED ME BACK (something your ex hasn't done AT ALL). They told me that I needed to go to her, talk to her, and the relationship will begin anew.

 

You know what I did? I told her friends (this happened with, maybe, 6 of her friends, all on separate occasions) 'thank you for your help, but if she has anything to say to me, she can come and find me. She knows where I live. She dumped me. I'm moving on.'

 

It's 2+ months after breakup now, and she's with another guy, and her roommate STILL tells me that she has SOME feelings for me, and my name is still in her mouth (apparently she still talks about me and how she misses me from time to time). BUT I'm way too smart, way too proud, and way too strong to listen to her friends. If she REALLY wanted me back, and if I was really WORTH getting back to her, SHE would have come to ME. NOT the other way around.

 

If you are worth it to her (which, I'm sorry to say, all the email sending probably has made you blow any chance of any reconciliation, if such a chance existed) she would have come to you and pleaded to have you back. That is not the case.

 

I hate telling people to do this, but man up, NC, and get over her. There are BILLIONS more girls on this planet. And HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of them are better for you than your ex. Get over your ex so you can find them. Also, return that ring. Get rid of pictures/gifts/memories. Press the PERMANENTLY DELETE button on her in your life. The first 2 weeks are the hardest, but after that, it only gets better. Sometimes I felt like I would NEVER get better, but time DOES heal EVERYTHING. Believe in time.

 

I'm emailing her because I KNOW that she is 1. loving the attention 2. wont properly let go of me in her head, is just keeping me out of the picture for the time being. There is NOTHING stopping me from getting a train to her house tomorrow, 2 hours away, knocking on that door and confronting her.

 

No, Im not going to do that, because I dont want to scare her.

[frederickkk]

Emotionally sick and unhealthy. Get help. You need a professional to help you organize and help you understand your emotions and provide you with good coping skills. It's something you have to want for yourself because you identify you're in a toxic pattern. There is a reason your posts are repetitive for the past five months. And it's clear your self-esteem is damaged.

 

Good luck to you. I'll be leaving your threads, not the forum. Sorry to disappoint.

 

ive just inherited some money. i can do what i want with my life, yet i stay in the area i know she will be this winter, next summer ,hoping to see her.

 

ITS THAT BAD.

[frederickkk]

and i took the ring back because she took the piss. she didnt deserve it. it had no meaning to her as it did to me.

[frederickkk]

i know that if i saw her in person, we could talk it out.

 

i know this.