He's the one for me, Help me get him back!

[losingtheone]

My guy and I met on the net and have been dating for 5 month. Everything was GREAT! However, we are 2 hours apart. We have been talking of one of us moving closer, and once that happened then taking the next steps.

 

Just two weeks ago he was telling me something had to be done, even if he had to move here to be with me. (he was hesitant on that at first cause of past experiences) He was telling me he had thought of getting me an engagement ring.

 

However, last weekend I got a job interview, it was very promising. Unfortunately, I didn't get the job but he kept saying how much he wanted me to get the job, how things would be better if we could be together but if it didn't happen right away we would make it. He sends me an e-mail on Monday telling me how much of a GREAT time he had over the weekend with me. (we see each other every weekend, alternating who travels)

We talk every night and then again in the mornings. All of the sudden we get into this argument over the net about he has decided he didn't think he could move here. I'm OK with this, for now but I just wanted him to be willing to make the same sacrifice. I kept asking him after we talked it out if we are OK, and he says yes, he still loves me wants to be with me etc, but something I could telling was eating at him.

 

Next thing I know, he can't make it up to visit me for the weekend and by the end of the weekend he has ended it. I don't understand.

 

We are still talking via net or phone every day. he says he still wants to talk and be friends, and call each other see each other sometimes. However he is a guy reaching almost 30 who has NOT lived on his own. He says it has nothing to do with me but he has to make it on his own before he can truly be happy in a relationship. I can respect this. Financially he can't handle living expenses and an auto payment. it will be 4 years before he's out of one.

 

I truly believe he's the one for me. We had the communication, everything. We had such a great weekend together. I can't believe one disagreement and he would end it, he just isn't like that. What happened? What do I do to get him back?

If he needs some time, some space (though it's breaking my heart) I'm OK but what's the process. how often to I call, etc. I'm lousy at this stuff, but this one I KNOW in my heart, in my soul, I have to get back. HELP!

[frogprinz29]

Sorry your having a tough time. Sounds like you guys hit it off pretty well. The long distance has to be one of the biggest tests a couple can go through.

 

Maybe he's overwhelmed and upset with himself because he is financially unable to set up the plans the two of you have discussed about moving closer or moving in together. The ring is a BIG step too, especially if you've never been away from home and haven't stabilized your own life.

 

Have you talked to him about what his plans are to make it on his own? You guys could still maintain a relationship while he works on his goals. Seems like the pressure of the long distance relationship and expenses involved with getting together got to him. It's gotta be frustrating to be going through the sparks of a new relationship and not being available because of the distance.

 

If he's the one for you and you're in love with him, and the feelings are mutual then the distance problem should be worth fighting through. Absence suppose to make the heart grow fonder. At least that's what I've heard. Give him time and space to figure himself out and keep lines of communication open. Do your own things as you did before he came along, get with friends, family, do the things for yourself that makes you a happy person and happy with yourself. He'll miss you and will come around if it's in his heart and soul as well.

[beautiful]

He doesen't want a committment with YOU. 5 month?...well there is your 1st problem. You 2 do not know one another enough.

 

Ask yourself something here..."Why am I so "hooked" on this guy?"

 

I understand that this may hurt you and I am sorry for your pain however, it is time to move on and live your live. If he is going to be a part of it, he will let you know. You can't force this onto him, HE WILL RESENT YOU!

 

You met him online...................he probably has me tons of females this way and is still seeing, talking etc with them. Don't take him so serious. WORDS are just WORDS IN THIS CASE! Actions speak louder and it seems to me from what you told us on here, he is not ready to settle down with YOU!

 

I know this seems harsh, however you MUST BE realistic. A guy knows instantly if someone is relationship material or just dating-sex material. Sometimes guys will promisse you the sky, however they do change their minds if they feel YOU are not the ONE! So that is where the "let's just be friends" thing comes in. TRANSLATION; "I don't want you in a relationship however maybe sex sometimes or if I need anything else until I find the ONE"

 

I am speaking very in general here however it is the truth. Gurls are so naive when it comes to guys. Live your life and be happy and concentrate on YOU. If this guy is worth anything it will work out, if it doesen't HIS LOSS! Or maybe YOUR LUCK!

[beautiful]

It is not just guys................Gurls 2 will do the "let's just be friends" thing! It is the cowered way out! instead of them being honest to what they really want!