I was not created to stay here

[avon20]

I am convinced that I have a depression that is terminal. There is no cure for it. There is nothing that any mental health professional can do for me. I do not want to take medicine for emotional problems.

 

As time goes on I have a heightened sense of awareness that I wasn't created to stay in this world for a long time. The depression comes in because I do not feel at home on this earth.

 

I suspect that pretty soon I will be shipped over to a more suitable place called heaven. I am a Christian universalist who believes everyone will go to heaven.

 

I was diagnosed with cancer this last summer. In many ways I consider it a blessing as it has the potential to be my ticket out of this world. I have no desire to be cured of cancer. It will not do any good to be physically healthy again when I am terminally ill emotionally.

 

I would estimate that I have another 2 years to live. I just have a feeling that it won't be long. I even had this feeling 1 month before finding out that I have cancer.

 

I look forward to going to heaven. This life is not for everybody. I have become more and more distant towards my family and friends. I do not call anybody anymore. I enjoy doing things by myself now and living like a hermit. I wasn't created to stay here.

[pteromom]

I am convinced that I have a depression that is terminal. There is no cure for it. There is nothing that any mental health professional can do for me. I do not want to take medicine for emotional problems.

 

Since you admit you are depressed, and therefore not thinking correctly, how can you trust your own judgment when it comes to these "feelings" you are having about how long you should be alive?

 

You say you don't want to take medicine for emotional problems, but medicine works for a lot of people. Hormonal and/or chemical imbalances may have a lot to do with how hopeless you feel, and if that is the case, medicine can absolutely help.

 

You need to find help, even if you are in no way inspired to do so, and even if you find yourself excited about your life ending. Just force yourself to do it.

[TheFinalWord]

I am convinced that I have a depression that is terminal. There is no cure for it. There is nothing that any mental health professional can do for me. I do not want to take medicine for emotional problems.

 

As time goes on I have a heightened sense of awareness that I wasn't created to stay in this world for a long time. The depression comes in because I do not feel at home on this earth.

 

I suspect that pretty soon I will be shipped over to a more suitable place called heaven. I am a Christian universalist who believes everyone will go to heaven.

 

I was diagnosed with cancer this last summer. In many ways I consider it a blessing as it has the potential to be my ticket out of this world. I have no desire to be cured of cancer. It will not do any good to be physically healthy again when I am terminally ill emotionally.

 

I would estimate that I have another 2 years to live. I just have a feeling that it won't be long. I even had this feeling 1 month before finding out that I have cancer.

 

I look forward to going to heaven. This life is not for everybody. I have become more and more distant towards my family and friends. I do not call anybody anymore. I enjoy doing things by myself now and living like a hermit. I wasn't created to stay here.

 

Hi friend,

 

I am really sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I have a close friend that experiences frequent depression. Do you have anyone to talk to? I know it probably feels counter-intuitive, but when you are in a state of chronic depression probably the worst thing you can do is isolate yourself. Can you contact anyone? Take care.

[M30USA]

I am convinced that I have a depression that is terminal. There is no cure for it. There is nothing that any mental health professional can do for me. I do not want to take medicine for emotional problems.

 

As time goes on I have a heightened sense of awareness that I wasn't created to stay in this world for a long time. The depression comes in because I do not feel at home on this earth.

 

I suspect that pretty soon I will be shipped over to a more suitable place called heaven. I am a Christian universalist who believes everyone will go to heaven.

 

I was diagnosed with cancer this last summer. In many ways I consider it a blessing as it has the potential to be my ticket out of this world. I have no desire to be cured of cancer. It will not do any good to be physically healthy again when I am terminally ill emotionally.

 

I would estimate that I have another 2 years to live. I just have a feeling that it won't be long. I even had this feeling 1 month before finding out that I have cancer.

 

I look forward to going to heaven. This life is not for everybody. I have become more and more distant towards my family and friends. I do not call anybody anymore. I enjoy doing things by myself now and living like a hermit. I wasn't created to stay here.

 

Hey avon,

 

I see much truth to the fact that we were not meant to stay in this world. God has made this world to be sort of a training ground for eternity. But I'm concerned that you would want to "speed up" God's plan and just get there as soon as possible. We shouldn't want that. If you are still alive, it's for a purpose. Maybe you aren't as ready to enter eternity as you thought? God has to prepare us--in good ways and bad ways. Are there any things in your life that would keep you from being in perfect fellowship with God if you were to meet him TODAY? If so, you should devote your time to trying to work on them.

 

One thing I noticed you said is that you're distancing yourself from friends and family. Nobody is an island. I just ran across this verse the other day and am trying to apply it to myself: "A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire." (Proverbs 18:1a)

 

I've felt the same way as you many times. I was recently divorced and so this is FRESH in my mind.

[OpenBook]

Avon, I too have had similar thoughts before in my life... to where I was praying for God to show me WHY I was still here so that I could go ahead and complete whatever I needed to do and check out. "I want to go home," I sobbed.

 

Then life took over and started lobbing one disaster after another at me... death, destruction, endings - for 4 long years. My inherent churlish stubbornness kicked in, and that - on top of God's grace - helped get me through it. I'm really surprised to still be here. And grateful, now. (And surprised to be grateful!!)

 

I know each person's experience is different. I just wanted you to know you're not a freak for feeling the way you do. Well, at least not any freakier than I am. I believe it's all happening for a reason. Danged if I know what the reason is... but there's some kind of purpose behind it.

[whichwayisup]

You're in a really bad and negative place right now, and I'm sorry that you are suffering from depression and dealing with cancer at the same time.

 

You don't have to go on meds..That can be a last resort. Try doing cognitive behaviour therapy to help you through your depression. This type of therapy CBT is really helpful and I suggest you google it to understand the therapy process.

 

As for your cancer, it can be beat! I just hope soon you find your passion and zing for life again. You have friends and family who love you and would be devastated if you left this world, especially without a fight.

 

Don't give up..On yourself. You are worthy of being in this world..Everybody is.

[KathyM]

If you are a Christian, then you know you were created for a purpose in this life. Maybe your purpose is to overcome this illness and then give testimony about your journey to others who are struggling with cancer. Maybe it's time you fought for your life. Cancer is often curable with medication or radiation treatment or surgery. Depression is also something treatable with medication. I know it must be hard to cope right now, but I want to encourage you not to give up, and to make the effort to fight this illness and the depression. This could be your finest hour, or it could be your deepest dispair. It's your choice what you want to make out of it.

[todreaminblue]

it seems quite a few on this board understands and have been where you are everyone dealing with different trials though....i am another.....dont give up....it gets freaking tough to hang in there....i long to see the people who love me who have passed on and are waiting for me the only thing that scares me about death is the fact i leave people behind who will grieve....and i know grief it sucks.....depression sucks....i get mad at it for interfering with my happiness.....i knock depression out when i hit the punching bag at the gym...i have been a kamikaze and come close to dying some of them intentional some of them circumstance some of them mental illness related...i needed medication at a few points in my life.......forced....the fact is I do believe my life has a purpose and i have no idea what it is i dont need to know right now......i feel heaven will be my reward my peace after going through what i have to and been through.....its actually a bit of a horror story....until now......I accepted that i am not meant to know that i havent truly given up something in me and about me keeps me fighting its a gift i guess from god that i dont give up ......you are living with cancer you are living with depression you arent dead and you havent given up really or you would not bother writing here there is part of you that wants to reach out and touch someone with your life.......you can do that you touched me...

 

 

 

you touched other posters on this board because they sent you some love with kind words and hopeful thoughts....i believe we were created to come together to reach out and touch others.....we are all brothers and sisters.......and nearly everyone has trials in their life to go through.......i do believe that the heavenly father above wants us all to go to heaven when it is our time to.......until then stories like yours inspire others to comfort, to show compassion, to give hope, to feel something......you are exactly where you need to be and maybe down the track there is someone who you need to comfort........what if that was the reason you were created....to give hope to another.....never give up your hope........you will get to heaven......without speeding it up..reach out to someone while you can..hugses to ya.....deb......

[BetheButterfly]

I am convinced that I have a depression that is terminal. There is no cure for it. There is nothing that any mental health professional can do for me. I do not want to take medicine for emotional problems.

 

There are other kinds of medicine too. I personally find that humor and beauty are lovely forms of medicine. Many times, one does not need money or need to pay in order to enjoy either. For example, one can go to the library and enjoy reading jokes and also seeing pictures of the beauty of nature. Or, one can go on a walk and see the beauty of nature as well (though one needs to take safety precautions too).

 

As time goes on I have a heightened sense of awareness that I wasn't created to stay in this world for a long time. The depression comes in because I do not feel at home on this earth.

 

All mere mortals die. We all do not stay in this world for an awful long time. Most of us don't even reach the age of 100, though some do. Personally, I do not want to live till 100 if I am not in good health (for being that old). I agree with you about not feeling at home on this earth.

 

Even though Atheists like to hate on people who believe in God and the afterlife, that does not change the fact that many people understand that there is more to life than simply the here and now.

 

About depression, there is a lot about life that can/does make people depressed. However, each person has purpose on earth. Depression can get in the way of them fulfilling their purpose of helping others.

 

It would be good to read The Purpose Driven Life, by Rick Warren.

The Purpose-Driven Life - Rick Warren by - read the free ebook now from ePub Bud!

 

I suspect that pretty soon I will be shipped over to a more suitable place called heaven. I am a Christian universalist who believes everyone will go to heaven.

 

I was diagnosed with cancer this last summer. In many ways I consider it a blessing as it has the potential to be my ticket out of this world. I have no desire to be cured of cancer. It will not do any good to be physically healthy again when I am terminally ill emotionally.

 

I would estimate that I have another 2 years to live. I just have a feeling that it won't be long. I even had this feeling 1 month before finding out that I have cancer.

 

I look forward to going to heaven. This life is not for everybody. I have become more and more distant towards my family and friends. I do not call anybody anymore. I enjoy doing things by myself now and living like a hermit. I wasn't created to stay here.

 

My Mamaw (Grandmother) died from cancer. I know it's difficult. You are right that life on earth is limited and that we were not created to stay here. However, we have been given time here, and it is important to use that time wisely. Personally, I don't think it is wrong to be a hermit. I do think though that as a hermit, you can use the talents God has given you (art, music, praying, writing, making things,...?) I very much hope that you enjoy the time you have on earth, because time is precious.

 

God bless you and I also hope that you heal from the depression and experience Joy, Peace, and Love.

[todreaminblue]

The OP's religious beliefs are clearly not keeping them going, in fact they seem to make them want to hasten their own demise. And you want to discourage seeking alternative paths to help them out of their current state?

 

Those who are urging the OP to not question their beliefs and lambasting those suggesting alternatives are clearly doing so for shamefully self-serving reasons, and they are the ones that care not one bit for the OP and their plight. All they care about is that one more person share their point of view.

 

You lot ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

 

At the time the poster posted this stating hsi religious beliefs he is alive...and it is not clear either way what is keeping the poster that way......i dotn thinkl a psyche would question whether he shoudl leav ehis beliefs at th edoor ....more likely a psyche would wish to discuss those beliefs.....and give a sense of hope and comfort.....suggesting leaving an avenue of comfort that is used by the poster to give hope of after facing illness that are potentially life threatening to me is not a positive outlook......coming to terms with illness acceptance and yes maybe alternative treatments in the form of medication anti depressants chemo whatever.....you dont however, take a way a source of comfort to help someone....if that is what they are hanging on to for comfort..... classing it as bible thumping....that to me is shameful..you take that source of comfort and magnify it...it should be about giving the poster more hope not diminishing hope....or comfort...leave your bible thumping ways at the door its not helping you is not a positive statement....you dont throw negativity or condescending statements at a poster who is struggling to make it.....being understanding and accepting might help though...........deb........

[TaraMaiden]

I am convinced that I have a depression that is terminal. There is no cure for it......

 

<snip>

 

....I wasn't created to stay here.

 

This is a classic "Light blue touch-paper and stand well back" post.

 

let's throw an explosive comment into the ring, retire, and sit and watch the furore it creates among the 'pros' and 'cons'....

 

It whiles the time away.

[todreaminblue]

Elplague was encouraging the OP to seek actual help, rather than relying on something that clearly isn't helping him. Doctors have medication that can help balance things out, people he can talk to. I've been depressed, and thought of killing myself. It was at people's encouragement here at LS that I sought help, and the doctor's helped me. Relying on a book instead of seeking real help clearly is failing the OP, and you're almost encouraging that. So you're encouraging him on this self-destructive path.Shame on you.

 

This life is the only life we know for sure we're going to get. Everything else is just a pipe dream, but his hope of this "new life" is only helping him waste this one. It's sad to me that people can't see how insidious this hope is, and how it fails people at crucial times of their lives. Having belief is not keeping him going, it's making him want to hasten his demise. That's not helping him.

 

Encouraging people to stick with the placebo of religion rather than seeking real help is ridiculous, and wrong. We get this one life, don't waste it and don't speed up the end of it because you're hoping for a new one.

 

 

i am not encouraging the poster on giving up their life at all......i am glad you had someone on ls, who encouraged you to get help when you thought about suicide......you found ls a source of comfort and support..you had that huh....good for you th eposter relies on soemthing else fo rcomfort......telling someone to leave their bible thumping at the door of a psyche office isnt helpful....for starters......medication including anti depressants take 21 to 28 days to have an effect if any......if its the wrong medication......it wont have an effect it will be that placebo effect you talk about maybe with added side effects.....i have in the past up until this year, taken medication for years had court ordered intervention and have more than thought about suicide i have had intervention

 

 

i have done weeks upon weeks of therapy hours and hours of it......had ect which was basically to keep me alive and i have needed that.......at that time.....medication however didnt keep me stable and i have been a guinea pig and trialed many including new ones.......none of them worked....i never suggested the poster not take medication........intervention is why i am here.....but i always had that comfort my faith, that the things i have been through in life which truly suck.....one day ill have no more trials to go through....no more abuse in any form,no more depression no more schizo affective disorder no more pain no more confusion no more having to defend my views on life.....in fact i concentrated on my faith to help me through.....you might be alive because you got medication for your depression but you werent diagnosed with cancer were you .......where did i say "rely on a book OP"...where did i encourage a book.......are you talkign about the bible????????? You kno what th ebible states.....ENDURE TO THE END............ that we face trials in life that we have to go through these trials to one day be rewarded with a perfect body mind and heart..........so I endure.....the poster can endure if the poster has hope finds hope and keeps hope closer.... and have comfort knowing the pain will go......I never once said give up.....you dont take comfort away from someone who has been diagnosed with a possible terminal illness.....even though your beliefs are not the same......

 

i have nothing to be ashamed of, and do not feel shame because you think i should be ashamed..shame is guilt....over it... again that's yours to believe in......I believe i offered hope....what you see as a pipe dream could be a life line for the poster......condescending statements in your post by the way.....insiduous, ridiculous shame all so positive....

 

 

sorry ill stick to faith and hope you have your insiduous ridiculous placebo thoughts and pass them on to the poster who has cancer also by the way.....not only depression...im not so sure though,that will make the poster feel more positive you find their faith ridiculous and a placebo.....and ill not agree with your posts if you try to rip out a source of comfort from the op and I will try to find the positive perspective and lend my supposrt that way.....the hope part...ok....best wishes from me for the poster i send with the love of faith and hope attached.....and best wishes for you with you and your depression....deb

[todreaminblue]

This seems rude of me to say this, but are you posting from a phone or something because it's very difficult to read your posts? It probably is because you're using a mobile device, and I don't mean it rudely, it would just be easier to read if you used capitals etc.

 

 

His faith that he has another life waiting on him is not helping him in this life, is it? I find that when people believe strongly that an after-life is waiting, they do silly things that they wouldn't otherwise do. There's absolutely nothing wrong with using your faith as a source of comfort, but refusing to seek actual help and relying on the notion that an after-life is waiting, is harmful.

 

I'm not remotely taking away his hope. If that is what the OP is hoping for, I'm all for it. And obviously, if he chooses to give up on this life, so be it. It is his choice, after all. However, I wonder if he'd make the same choices if he didn't fully believe he had another shot somewhere else. Unless you can validate the after-life claims with evidence, it IS a pipedream. Sorry to say that, but it is. I don't want this poster or anyone else to waste the one life they know they have in the hopes of getting another one. That's just sad.

 

I won't lie to someone and not tell them what I think when I think they direly need to hear it. OP needs to understand that this may be it, and if he can get this cancer treated, he should try. Sure, medication isn't guaranteed to work and it takes time, but they can offer other methods of support as well.

 

You're talking like I've just told a child Santa isn't real...

 

 

No it is not rude of you to ask if I am using a mobile device and no, I am not using a mobile device and yes I should punctuate check my grammar and use capital letters......sometimes I even do all of the above.......when I focus on those posts sometimes I don't focus when I am dealing with other issues while writing.

 

 

 

I don't have to validate my faith or my beliefs and the fact I do not believe the after life is a pipe dream......I have enough evidence in my life that god has saved me, and that a particular loved one is waiting for me and will see me again I have my proof undeniable..I have found the religion to me that fits my beliefs my values my hopes and wishes for this life....my faith makes perfect sense to me, for me and about me.The poster also doesn't have to validate what or who he believes in.

 

When I replied to the other poster about the bible thumping comment....I did state maybe you should have given advice about medication instead of that comment, you also stated faith was insiduous.People commit suicide for many reasons and soem do it because they cant face the things they are goign through or have gone through.....when i was told by a rapist I wish you just ****ing die while he was on top of me.....I was praying that i wouldnt....guess what ....i made it....when i was molested before i attended kindergarten god somehow took away the pain of the assault that took my virginity...you wanted proof my faith is not a pipe dream? i have many more...

 

 

you can explain away my survival of heinous acts or soul killing experiences anyway you want In a scientific manner.....Will science explain it? Or why it happened to me....Dont think so.....

 

 

will science explain why the poster has to deal with depression....the reason why some can endure more than others.....or will science explain the fact not only did depression hit but cancer hit as well....what is the reason scientifically the proof these debilitating possibly terminal things needed to happen to the poster.....My faith tells me Endure to the end to have hope, to give hope, to love and be loved, that families are together forever......marriage is eternal as is true love.......

 

FOR THE GRACE OF GOD GO I........

 

 

I have repeated that many times in my life....I am trying to give advice to the poster.....yes trials do suck.......medication may help

 

 

It isnt a fact of getting another life.....we have one life....it is continued on, we are the same being in the afterlife just not sick anymore to get that perfect body, we endure.....I am an endurance girl even when i have almost given up....something makes me keep going......sometimes intervention, sometimes pure stubbornness, a **** you to the things that hold me down or people or trials i have been through or will go through....I cant explain that scientifically.....I just know I have always had faith........since a little girl....I actively seek truth, justice and acceptance....I have had to be.......the poster is a survivor so far, who is to say faith and sharing that faith here on LS is not what keeps him going none of us know do we?

 

AS FAR AS SANTA GOES......ARE YOU TELLING ME SANTA ISNT REAL?

 

 

Im kidding....Santa was real, his name was Saint Nicholas he gave presents to children who had nothing......society bought him back to life to inflate the pockets of supermarkets and up the credit card debts......Christmas.....should be about the true giver, Jesus Christ and what he gave us..... the biggest present of all....his mortal life.....

The poster has a right, a god given one, to express faith and find comfort in that faith.The depression is the villain here, and cancer is a possible life taker not faith.

 

 

Saint Nicholas however touches my heart I think it is in the name or th principles of Saint Nick...I say no more and plead the fifth.....I have said enough and don't even think you will get to the end of my post.....I dont want to argue with you.....I would much rather accept you have a different view to mine and give you a hug....so here's hugs to ya....and a huge one for the poster of this thread....for expressing his faith and finding comfort in that faith ,hopefully coupled with the belief and hope that enduring all will bring the best reward

 

I also believe like the poster, We weren't created to remain here its about learning the way and the path back home......its an endure to the end ..if you dont like my bible thumping ways either....grinning....tough........deb

[KathyM]

What a psychologist would do to help this poster is not only to consider putting her on antidepressants to ease her depression, but also to find out what are her strengths that will help her to find her coping skills. That would include her religious beliefs. This is certainly not a time to try to take away or talk her out of the one thing that has potential to give her the ability to cope with her illness (her spirituality). This is a time to help her find strength to cope through her existing belief system, and to find meaning in her last stage of life, which can also be done through helping her explore her religious beliefs and find strength in those. You posters should not be using this thread to talk down or try to discredit this woman's religious beliefs. She needs to be helped to find strength in using her beliefs to give her peace and find meaning in this final stage of her life.

[KathyM]

The poster should be encouraged to use medical treatment to help her (which is, by the way, a tool that God has provided), as well as to pray and to seek spiritual guidance from her pastor/religious leader. And she should be encouraged to seek the help of a psychologist for her depression and to help her build on her coping strengths.

[yessy21]

>>> HUGS AVON20<<

 

I know what it feels like to not belong in this world. but take it from me.... who should have a million reasons why i should not be here anymore, that no medication in this world will cure that depression, only you can. Im sorry about your cancer diagnosis. I think you should sit down and write about all the beautiful things you have seen... and the beautiful moments you have encountered. i deal with depression on a monthly basis. i have tooken medications in the past but they did nothing to cure my depression. and then i met JANE. she always makes me laugh and the chemicals that releases into my body when i laugh is what makes my mood a bit better. you know, i know this is going to sound weird... but if you wish something enough... the energy of your body's aura will make it happen. do not forget that.

[AlexDP]

So not like the Avon I used to know. Stringer's death really hit hard I guess.

[yessy21]

Also, i want you to make yourself everymorning a smoothie, with lots of greens and fruits... flaxseed oil and apricot. this will help your body fight the cancer cells. we fight cancer everyday. no more processed foods. processed foods release more toxins into your body. Also, red meat should be limited to once a month.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I also didn't want to take medication for my emotional / mood / whatever problems. I have a special issue with it having been addicted to drugs in my past. The idea of using drugs and even being dependent upon them for "normalcy" is really frightening and seems "wrong." But I got so bad that I relented. And I found some relief.

 

I relate to your post except for the heaven parts. I don't have a similar Christian perspective to yours, but I strongly believe that our lives are a gift and we need to live them. And to avail ourselves of help that's available - so that we are able to experience joy and pleasure when it comes our way instead of only darkness. As well as just function reasonably on a day to day basis.

[TaraMaiden]

The poster should be encouraged to use medical treatment to help her (which is, by the way, a tool that God has provided), as well as to pray and to seek spiritual guidance from her pastor/religious leader. And she should be encouraged to seek the help of a psychologist for her depression and to help her build on her coping strengths.

 

The OP is male, as a simple search of his profile would reveal.....

[JamesM]

You weren't created at all. In any case, I advise visiting a psychologist. And leave the bible thumper stuff at the door. It's a malady only you can cure through logic and wisdom.

 

Honestly, this person needs help. They need a humane treatment method, which is available through science and the medical field. I hazard to say that, if it were not for the nonsensical, mythological belief in a paradise in the afterlife, this thought pattern displayed wouldn't be viable in the OP's mind.

 

Whether Avon20 was created or not is irrelevant to his cancer or a possible cure for his depression. He has two directions to take: help for his life now and help for his afterlife. They each have different solutions. Turning this into a discussion about the existence of God is not only off-topic, but it is also not helpful to Avon20.

 

Avon, I am not sure what type of cancer you have or what your prognosis is, but I do know that oncology centers everywhere have resources for individuals to access. There should be a library of possible "cures" or at the least pain management information. There are also counselors who are willing to help you cope with this awful news.

 

We here on LS are not going to be good resources for your depression or physical illness.

 

As for God and the afterlife...you must do everything in your power to find help for your illness, and you should still prepare for the possibility of death down the road. Having said this, both apply to everyone here. While you have a cancer diagnosis, many of us live as if we will never get sick. Many of us said "Whew...glad that isn't me" when we read your post. Many of us feel great sympathy for you. And yet, many of us keep living and eating and drinking and smoking as if we will never get sick or die. Any bite of junk food or any sip of alcohol or any inhalation of tobacco smoke could be the one that triggers a life threatening or terminal illness in us.

 

Live every day to the fullest and yet prepare and plan for the future. Tomorrow is not guaranteed for any of us. Eating and drinking and smoking as if we are invulnerable to the possible consequences is truly foolhardy.

 

Flippantly saying that there is no God and we should leave mythology behind when we see so much evidence for a Creator around is is not preparing for the inevitable. We all will die, and we will all face the probability of an afterlife. We must all know with a certainty of what awaits us. And yet "praying for a cure" without using the medical means provided is not a solution for an illness which may be within is us now.

 

Avon, seek out help at the oncology center. Research, research, and then research. Never give up hope until you have exhausted all means that have been given to us. Where there is life, there is still hope.

[yessy21]

-_- ..... Fight for your Life. Find some inspiration to live. Make the negative into a positive. Depressssion won't even be part of your vocabulary afterwards.

[alexandria35]

OP I'm sorry your thread has turned into a big religious debate among the other posters.

 

Have you really thought about what you are planning here? I mean I think a lot of people have times in their lives when they think they want to die but it's kind of easy to say that when death is still sort of far away. I'm worried that you will let this cancer progress to the point of no return and then suddenly be seized by a desire to live. Can you imagine how horrible that would be? To decide that you want to live only after you have already let the cancer steal your chance at life? What a nightmare that would be! I think you should treat the cancer and if once you are healed you still want to die well...there's always suicide. Okay I know that sounds flip and horrible but I'm actually being serious. Don't let cancer make this decision for you. Go see the doctor and make a plan to kick cancer's ass. Then once you get through that you can re-evaluate how you feel about life and make a decision that's not under the duress of a serious illness.

 

I believe in the after life too but as some here have pointed out here there is no absolute proof that there is an after life. Have you thought about that? What if there is no something better to go to? What if this is all there is and there is nothing wonderful waiting for us on the other side? Do you still want to die? If you believe in God then you must also believe that God doesn't want us to destroy the life he gave us. If you believe God created you and gave you your life then don't you think God wants you to cherish your life and treat it with honor and respect?

 

I seem to vaguely recall on another thread of yours that you lost a great love not long ago (sorry if I'm remembering wrong) and that your depression seems to stem from this. If this is the case then you are definitely not doomed to being unhappy forever. Losing a loved one to death or a bad break up is a terribly traumatic experience but people do recover from this and they go on to find new joy and happiness. Although I believe in God and I believe in taking our problems to God I also believe that often the way God reaches out and helps us is through other people. You need to talk to someone for real. If you don't have close family or friends then please do see a therapist or a psychologist. Let them know at the onset that you are not interested in taking any drugs. I know going to see a professional isn't appealing to you but what's the harm in giving it a shot? You already have cancer and you already want to die so seeing a psychologist certainly isn't going to make things worse.

[pie2]

The OP is male, as a simple search of his profile would reveal.....

 

LOL...I still can't see !

[TaraMaiden]

LOL...I still can't see !

Well, take my word - and that of others, who can - he is.

 

I think you need to post over 1000 posts, have been here for 10 years and have experienced at least 4 heartbreaks, three FWB, one affair and 5 children before you can view others' profiles, if only to laugh at their threads....

 

J/K....