Concerned and upset

[angry birds]

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. We started seeing each other whilst they were in an abusive relationship and I helped them leave that. I know some people will think that was very wrong and I know it was.

 

I found photos is both the ex and other women half naked in lingerie and just nice photos a while ago and I confronted the issue. My partner said they were photos he had had sent to him but they weren't reciprocal. I believed him and the photos got deleted. I also found porn and that was deleted of his laptop as well.

 

We watched programmes on tv where someone would be angry that their partner had watched porn and he said aren't you glad that's not me and I wouldnt do that.

 

So about 8 months later-now. I found porn on his laptop again. I know he saw me looking and then I went to the toilet as I felt sick and came back and it had been totally deleted. So when we returned from a weekend away I decided to look at his laptop history to find when he watched the porn. I then found an email title called "oops...what did we do..." I tried to click on the link and the email and all sent items had been deleted. As had the trash.

 

I am more than worried and unsure of how to continue as I know he has cheated in the past and almost did with me. Please help

[pteromom]

Porn is neither good or bad. But it IS important that two people in a relationship together are on the same page when it comes to porn.

 

The fact that he said he "wouldn't do that", but obviously did is the big concern. He is pretending to be what you want him to be, and he needs to be honest. It's a red flag - what else is he lying about?

[MrVegas]

He may just be lying to avoid the fight. The 2 items are likely not connected to each other. I would be concerned about the deleted emails and history. Though that being said, since snooping in on him seems to be a regular part of your relationship, trust is likely a big issue.

 

Is he aware you are checking up on him?