Casual Sex or Maybe More???Guys -Your Advice espec. Welcome!!!

[HoNeYCHicA]

First off this is a great advice forum!! Best I have found yet--2 thumbs up!

 

Ok, I have become close with my neighbor who is an older woman(I am 25) and within the past year I have met most of her family who live nearby, including HER SON...Recently the three of us(my friend Sue, her son Kurt, and Myself)have all been goin out together to a local bar or partying with mutual friends etc etc...I have felt a kind of ATTRACTION to Kurt since we 1st met, and Sue tells me all the time how we are so much alike it's unreal(She now considers me like another one of her kids in a way)we are both the "WILD CHILD" type and have had some trouble in the past but are basically decent extremly caring people(he's 28 by the way)...sorry this is so long...He is GORGEOUS!!! and in the past 2 weeks that we have been chillin together Kurt and I have become closer...we talk about everything and have so much in common and LAUGH ALL THE TIME...its weird, this is the 1st time I have met a guy I instantly felt so comfortable with(I admit I have a hard time trusting men cuz of gettin hurt in the past)...I feel like we have always known eachother and I feel "SAFE" with him...

 

ANYWAYS!!! He has been flirting more and more with me and last weekend I had a feeling SOMETHING was gonna happen between us...not sure what...and I was right...Sue was chillin with her boyfriend and asked Kurt and I to go to the store for more drinks...I didn't want to cuz I was trying to avoid being alone with him in case something happened...so we went and bein the wild child that he is...he decided to call his Mom and let her know we were gonna be at a bar for a beer or 2--WE HAD THE BEST TIME AND HE WAS FLIRTING--OBVIOUSLY--but never out of line--well we got back and I went outside cuz he was goin home and we were talkin and all of a sudden he GRABBED ME AND STARTED KISSING ME(yes we were both pretty buzzed)he said he had wanted to do that all nite---well I love sex and felt comfortable with him and we went across the street to his place-- IT WAS AN AMAZING 2 HOURS! I even had to pry myself away from him,he didnt want me to go but it was 4 am and Sue was waitin for me...I said I would come back...but wasnt sure--I went to get Sue and as we were leavin and there he was! askin me if I was comin back..I said I couldnt cuz it was so late---

 

Since then...man--I got feelings(dammit)he comes to my work for lunch everyday(I work with his sis), his Mom says it's weird cuz I am not his usual--"blonde, barbie doll, bimbo type,(basically she meant cuz I am a bit chubby), she also keeps talkin about me and him and sayin how much he likes me etc etc...but don't take her word for it in case it doesnt work out(BLAH BLAH BLAH), we went out again and I knew from HOW HE LOOKED AT ME THAT HE WANTED ME TO COME BACK AND SPEND THE NITE...but we were with his Mom again-He has only called once but I wasnt home...AND HE ASKS FOR ME ALL THE TIME(Sue told me he Never EVER asks for anyone except maybe family memebers)---his Mom says thats just how he is and that he NEVER chases after girls...THEY chase him...but I'll be damned if I ever chase a guy again(been there-done that)and he has been just as sweet and friendly and generous but last nite his Mom was busy and he called to see if she was goin to that bar she said no and he said whats Lauren(thats me) doin...she said she's home--he said well she's not coming either I guess--but he never even called and asked me!!!...I am confused...DOES HE LIKE ME OR DOES HE JUST WANT SEX??? He only seems into me when I HAPPEN to be around but asks for me ALL the time---GOD!! I AM SO CONFUSED!! I LIKE HIM SOOOOO MUCH! But I am playin it cool...I REFUSE to get hurt or rejected again...keep in mind he isn't your typical guy...he is a construction worker and we live in the country...very simple people(ironic isnt it?)PLEASE HELP!! HOW DO I KNOW WHAT'S UP WITHOUT GETTING REJECTED??(please dont say to just ask either cuz I CANT DO THAT..I have to save face)...

 

Thanx so much---all replies are GREATLY APPRECIATED:)

[Tony T]

Well, you country bumpkins are a bit different from us city slickers. Guys in the country don't look at enjoying sex with a woman as using her. I mean they grow up seeing the hogs and the cows do it right out in front of everybody, without courting or anything, and they just think that's fine.

 

Because the two of you get along so well, laugh together and enjoy being together, I really don't think he is using you sex. On the other hand, I'm quite sure he's enjoying it and that element makes it all the more sweet to have you around often. I mean, let's just get right down to it, men like sex...or at least your guy does.

 

I can't guarantee you that this guy will fall madly in love with you and ask you to marry him, but as long as both of you are having fun and enjoying each other, why worry about each other's motives.

 

I think at some point very soon you need to tell him that you would like him to call you in advance and make official plans instead of this last minute stuff. It will seem more like you are dating if he calls you, talks to you on the phone, and asks you out. Then again, you would know better how they do things in the country, which is altogether different from the big city in some ways.

 

You are 25 now...if you are still seeing each other in, say, two years and he hasn't told you he loves you or hasn't given you a ring, cut him off at the pass and see what happens.

 

For now, you are just going to have to be patient and go with the flow. This thing just started so don't worry about it too much at this point. Learn to go with your feelings. If at some point you start feeling used, then discuss it with him. If you want the relationshiop to be seriously official, discuss that with him too...but wait a while, this is way too soon.

 

I sure love them hog callin' contests they have out in the country. Did you ever enter one of those?

[HoNeYCHicA]

I am laughing soooooo hard!!!! Tony your too much babe(wink)...I am fortunate to have been introduced to CITY life AS WELL AS country "hog-callin" life!! I prefer city life(BOSTON),(NYC)to name a couple cities I frequent...(by the way I am still laughing my ass off!!!)too cute...but thanx so much for the advice...I am a Virgo--I analyze EVERYTHING over and over and over(course being a female could be another reason I tend to do that!)But I needed a guys advice and not from my usual chatroom fellas cuz they are all a bunch of pervs!hehehe...Thanx Tony!

 

AND EVERYONE ELSE...KEEP 'EM COMIN!! SOOUUUIIEEEEE!!!!!!!(THATS HOG CALLING I THINK???)HEHEHE....LATERZ

Well, you country bumpkins are a bit different from us city slickers. Guys in the country don't look at enjoying sex with a woman as using her. I mean they grow up seeing the hogs and the cows do it right out in front of everybody, without courting or anything, and they just think that's fine. Because the two of you get along so well, laugh together and enjoy being together, I really don't think he is using you sex. On the other hand, I'm quite sure he's enjoying it and that element makes it all the more sweet to have you around often. I mean, let's just get right down to it, men like sex...or at least your guy does.

 

I can't guarantee you that this guy will fall madly in love with you and ask you to marry him, but as long as both of you are having fun and enjoying each other, why worry about each other's motives. I think at some point very soon you need to tell him that you would like him to call you in advance and make official plans instead of this last minute stuff. It will seem more like you are dating if he calls you, talks to you on the phone, and asks you out. Then again, you would know better how they do things in the country, which is altogether different from the big city in some ways. You are 25 now...if you are still seeing each other in, say, two years and he hasn't told you he loves you or hasn't given you a ring, cut him off at the pass and see what happens. For now, you are just going to have to be patient and go with the flow. This thing just started so don't worry about it too much at this point. Learn to go with your feelings. If at some point you start feeling used, then discuss it with him. If you want the relationshiop to be seriously official, discuss that with him too...but wait a while, this is way too soon. I sure love them hog callin' contests they have out in the country. Did you ever enter one of those?