is she just in it for the benefits?????

[Mike]

Recently I started dating a friend from high school that I went to vist. Well, she liked me through most of high school, but nothing came of it. But, now that we are going out it seems like she may just want this relationship for the "benefits". I am waiting untill I am married to have sex, and she knows this. But, I need a way to asses the situation, because I know that some of her past dating has been a little shady. I do not hold that against her, but I do not want to get burnt because she may be telling me lies to get me to where she wants me. I have heard that she has done that in the past more than a few times. She would suppossedly lie to people and act like a sweetheart; mess around with them, have sex. Then, break up with them about a month or two later. Also, she never seemed to have a reason as to why her and someone else broke up. When I went to visit her, I knew that she had been pretty serious with this other guy (I mean, maybe she does not look at it in that light, maybe she is just in it for the pleasure) and that everytime earlier when I talked with her, she always talked about him. But, when I came to visit she put the moves on me. I did mess around with her a little bit, but I was trying to be smart. Then a little while later, I asked her about her boyfriend. She said it was over between them, but then after I saked her "why?, what happened", she could Not answer me. I have heard that she has lied to people to manipulate them in the past, and that she cheated on people. I would Greatly appreciate any help that you could give me.

 

~Confused in PA~

[Tony T]

There is NOTHING in the universe this girl wants more right now than to pop your virginity. You are the challenge of all challenges and she is positioning herself for the action.

 

Of course, she is a manipulator. That's pretty clear from her history. She is immature and at this stage she is just wanting to conquer each guy sexually and move on. She's probably got a fairly good reputation for that.

 

This is so obvious it's pathetic. You could probably keep her for a while...until she totally gave up. But I promise you she will do everything she can to get you in her pants.

 

Once that happens, you'll be just another entry on her diary and a contributor to her excellent score. If it doesn't, she will probably disqualify you from the competition because of your virginity.

 

My vote is to give it a try. Why not be in her book...just don't take this seriously. Don't get stuck on this chick. I mean it has all been set out in front of you. If she breaks your heart, don't come running here. I am telling you if you allow it, it will happen.

 

Did you seriously not see what she was doing???

[HoNeYCHicA]

Ahhhh!! Babe...she is SHADY AZ HELL!! And unfortunately I know this becuz I was EXACTLY like your friend not too long ago...sad but true...You seem like a really decent guy, with a good heart, and it would be a shame to let this vixen rip it apart and make it tougher for the next girl to love ya...this girl is NO GOOD(LISTEN TO RICKI MARTIN'S "SHE-BANGS"...THAT IS HER MAN!) She dangerous and you know what?...I can BET YOU she been hurt before by men probably many many times and she has become like this...I admire your choice to not have sex til your married...good idea...the ONE time I have REALLY fallen in love I wished so badly that I had never been with anyone else...just with him...it is my one and only regret in life...and it is something you can NEVER get back(which really sux)...but I really think this girl will only hurt you...sometimes it's good to get the scoop from others...especially other GUYS who have dated her or know someone who has...plenty more women in the world...plenty more years ahead of ya...she is what she is...a snake is a snake...a rat a rat...a DOG IS A DOG...ya know? Run forrest run! and don't look back...you'll be better off ...stay friends if ya want but only if you can CONTROL yourself(wink)...hehehe...good luck!

Recently I started dating a friend from high school that I went to vist. Well, she liked me through most of high school, but nothing came of it. But, now that we are going out it seems like she may just want this relationship for the "benefits". I am waiting untill I am married to have sex, and she knows this. But, I need a way to asses the situation, because I know that some of her past dating has been a little shady. I do not hold that against her, but I do not want to get burnt because she may be telling me lies to get me to where she wants me. I have heard that she has done that in the past more than a few times. She would suppossedly lie to people and act like a sweetheart; mess around with them, have sex. Then, break up with them about a month or two later. Also, she never seemed to have a reason as to why her and someone else broke up. When I went to visit her, I knew that she had been pretty serious with this other guy (I mean, maybe she does not look at it in that light, maybe she is just in it for the pleasure) and that everytime earlier when I talked with her, she always talked about him. But, when I came to visit she put the moves on me. I did mess around with her a little bit, but I was trying to be smart. Then a little while later, I asked her about her boyfriend. She said it was over between them, but then after I saked her "why?, what happened", she could Not answer me. I have heard that she has lied to people to manipulate them in the past, and that she cheated on people. I would Greatly appreciate any help that you could give me. ~Confused in PA~

[Mike]

Thanks for the info. I talked to her, it sort of came up in conversation and I'm pretty sure that I believe her. She was saying that it was people in high school that didn't like her that spread rumors about her. I don't want to be foolish. But, she seemed very believeable anyways. I confronted her about some other things that I had heard and she had a logical answer for everything that I had asked her. But, I am hoping that she is being totally honest with me and I told her that I don't care what it is or how bad it is, that I want to know the truth. and I told her that communication is key in a relationship. I don't think that she wants me for the benefits because I talked to her and after a few things that were said and discussed, she decided that she didn't want to have sex w/ anyone from now on untill she is married. I felt good that we both feel the same way now. Do you have any opinions on this? Am I being fooled?

 

Thanks Tony and HoNeYCHicA for your opinions on this.

 

~Confused In PA~

[Tony T]

I felt good that we both feel the same way now. Do you have any opinions on this? Am I being fooled?

 

Something is a little wacky here. Go back and read your original post. Either you got some really bad information from a number of sources...and I don't see how this could happen...or this girl is the duchess of deception.

 

Did she tell you why she breaks up with all these guys so quickly? Did she clarify all the other issues you brought up in your original post? If she was able to weazel her way out of all the things you charged, she is one hell of a smoothe talker.

 

Just move slowly with her. I still think you're gonna lose this one. But forewarned is forearmed.