lack of appetite after break-up

[kiss_andmakeup]

Hi awesome LSers.

 

I recently went through an awful breakup, it's been about a week and a half. I've actually been doing well...coping, going NC, taking time to heal...etc. I'm pretty proud of myself in that regard.

 

However my appetite is a huge problem. Some of you may already know that I have a very high metabolism and thus have always been very thin - usually hover around 110-112 at 5'8" - despite my having a healthy appetite and always eating until I'm full. I do eat a very healthy diet, but I never starve myself or actively strive to stay this thin...I just do.

 

So obviously when my appetite goes downhill I lose more weight than I can really afford to. It's only been a week and a half and I've lost 5-6lbs that I really couldn't spare. This is making me feel so lethargic and weak, and for the first time I'm actually worried about my health. It doesn't help that I also can already see my normally not-too-teensy 32C breasts shrinking (they're the first thing to go when I lose weight), and I don't want to just become a bean pole.

 

So, what do you recommend to help with this? Have you experienced similar issues after emotional trauma? I am an emotional eater in that I eat a ton when I'm HAPPY...and then do the opposite when I'm sad. The idea of eating literally nauseates me, and unless I'm having a particularly good day, the most I can do is choke down a couple of protein bars and some fruits/veggies.

 

Are there any natural appetite stimulants? Marijuana is not an option at the moment, since I know it will inevitably come up.

[EasyHeart]

You're having a perfectly normal reaction to your break up and we've all been there before. I had a similar experience once and one of my doctor-friends told me that a few days probably won't make a difference, but if it goes on for more than about 3-4 days, you need to make sure to give your body some nutrients.

 

The main trick is to focus on high-calorie liquids, because the liquids are (1) easy to absorb and (2) not as likely to trigger satiety hormones in your body. And as a practical matter, it's way easier to force yourself to chug a glass of milk than to eat a t-bone steak.

 

There are commercially available products for this very purpose (they're mostly made for old people who can't chew), but I tried one and it was nasty (and very expensive). I don't remember the name of it, but most drugstores will carry it. Or you could try one of those weight-gain powders that bodybuilders use (not protein powders; the ones with lots of fat and carbs in it), which is basically the same thing in powder form. I know you can get those at Target and most grocery stores.

 

If you want to stick to more normal food, you could try drinking lots of whole milk --- just stay away from skim and lowfat, though. (Back in the day when we were trying to gain weight for sports, the formula was always "Squats & Milk"!) Even better, chug a milkshake! Fruit juices are better than fruit in this case, and even things like regular Coke or Snapple or whatever drinks have lots of calories in them (though nothing else, so it's really not a great choice).

 

Oh, and stay away from the stuff we usually think of as healthy, because they'll fill you up and not give you very many calories. PUT DOWN THE VEGGIES, K&M!!!!

 

And if you're not taking one already, this would be a good time to start taking a multivitamin. Jes sayin'.

 

I hope this helps. Now's the time to drink away your sorrows!!!

[Toddbt12y1]

Totally agree with above poster. It is natural. What will keep your weight up is carbs. You need lots of carbs in general. What have you been typically eating and how much? I can calculate the amount of carbs you will need to itn and how many calories to maintain weight.

 

Really you need to eat exactly to your bodies needs, in terms of calories, of: proteins, fats, and carbs. These make up your calorie intake. But really it's probably stress. Your boobs will gain back what little they lose.

[kiss_andmakeup]

You're having a perfectly normal reaction to your break up and we've all been there before. I had a similar experience once and one of my doctor-friends told me that a few days probably won't make a difference, but if it goes on for more than about 3-4 days, you need to make sure to give your body some nutrients.

 

The main trick is to focus on high-calorie liquids, because the liquids are (1) easy to absorb and (2) not as likely to trigger satiety hormones in your body. And as a practical matter, it's way easier to force yourself to chug a glass of milk than to eat a t-bone steak.

 

There are commercially available products for this very purpose (they're mostly made for old people who can't chew), but I tried one and it was nasty (and very expensive). I don't remember the name of it, but most drugstores will carry it. Or you could try one of those weight-gain powders that bodybuilders use (not protein powders; the ones with lots of fat and carbs in it), which is basically the same thing in powder form. I know you can get those at Target and most grocery stores.

 

If you want to stick to more normal food, you could try drinking lots of whole milk --- just stay away from skim and lowfat, though. (Back in the day when we were trying to gain weight for sports, the formula was always "Squats & Milk"!) Even better, chug a milkshake! Fruit juices are better than fruit in this case, and even things like regular Coke or Snapple or whatever drinks have lots of calories in them (though nothing else, so it's really not a great choice).

 

Oh, and stay away from the stuff we usually think of as healthy, because they'll fill you up and not give you very many calories. PUT DOWN THE VEGGIES, K&M!!!!

 

And if you're not taking one already, this would be a good time to start taking a multivitamin. Jes sayin'.

 

I hope this helps. Now's the time to drink away your sorrows!!!

 

Thanks EH, my mom (who is Italian and was already always fretting about my weight, bless her soul) suggested picking up some Ensure or something like that...I think those are the "old people shakes"....is that what you were referring to?

 

As far as how long it goes on, well, the first few days of the breakup I literally couldn't eat anything. I would drink milk and juice all day. Then for a couple of days I was okay, eating snacks here and there, and even went out for a meal. Unfortunately on Sunday it all kinda went back to round 1 and now I'm back to feeling like I can't eat anything.

 

However I will say that your suggestion of a milkshake sounds fabulous!! That's the first thing to really pique my appetite in a long time. I might even drive up to McDonalds later and get a chocolate one...haven't had one in years...yum.

 

I think my dad has some protein powder lurking about somewhere...maybe I'll pick up some bananas later and see if I can't throw together some smoothies. That's sounding much more doable...it's more stuff I have to chew that turns me off right now for whatever reason.

[kiss_andmakeup]

Totally agree with above poster. It is natural. What will keep your weight up is carbs. You need lots of carbs in general. What have you been typically eating and how much? I can calculate the amount of carbs you will need to itn and how many calories to maintain weight.

 

Really you need to eat exactly to your bodies needs, in terms of calories, of: proteins, fats, and carbs. These make up your calorie intake. But really it's probably stress. Your boobs will gain back what little they lose.

 

Honestly carbs are the thing that are the least appealing when I'm in this state, and normally, I'm a carb-a-holic! I love bread, pasta, bagels, you name it. But they're so unappealing right now.

 

I actually have an app on my iPhone where I can plug in my current weight and what I want to weigh (I told it I want to put my weight back on and get to around 110-112) so I can see what I need to do. But the amount of calories is menacing; I have no doubt that I'm taking in only a mere fraction of those on a daily basis.

[tman666]

Sorry to hear about your breakup.

 

EasyHeart's suggestions regarding liquids is a good idea. Some other ideas (I know you're vegetarian, so I'll spare you the "Wendy's Baconator" suggestion ) might be:

 

grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup

peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches

Chips and loads of guacamole

A "Bloomin' Onion" from Outback Steakhouse

etc.

 

Basically, if carbs aren't hitting the spot, I'd focus on the next best thing for putting on weight: fat. As you probably know, fat has 9 calories per gram, whereas protein and carbohydrates have 4. Cheese and peanut butter are good high fat choices since they also contain some protein.

 

If you want to go the route of protein/meal replacement shakes, I'd try this:

 

1 Rounded scoop of Whey Protein, preferably chocolate

1/3 cup of natural peanut butter

1 banana

 

Add enough milk to produce the desired consistency and ensure full mixing, and drink up! Add whipped cream on top if you want it to look and taste purty.

 

Anyway, definitely focus on foods with high caloric densities. You will be able to eat less, bulk wise, but get more of a caloric load with high fat foods. Best of luck on your recovery.

[Toddbt12y1]

If you eat less than 500 calories to your calorie Max, you will burn weight. Eat 500+ you will gain weight. Say your Max is 1600 calories 500 less will make you lose...and you get the rest. Pasta and breads aren't great carbs really. Not in my opinion. Eat healthy carbs like vegetables and fruit. Besides you are just going through highs and lows ATM. T will pass.

[Toddbt12y1]

Ensure is nasty and so is the other variantsn. We give patient concentrated doses of that. Talk about rotten eggs.. the taste of the concentrated kind. But 3k calories a bottle LOL.

[Els]

Is there nothing that you find appetizing, at all? Does the thought of all food repulse you, or you can tolerate some better than others?

[kiss_andmakeup]

Sorry to hear about your breakup.

 

EasyHeart's suggestions regarding liquids is a good idea. Some other ideas (I know you're vegetarian, so I'll spare you the "Wendy's Baconator" suggestion ) might be:

 

grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup

peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches

Chips and loads of guacamole

A "Bloomin' Onion" from Outback Steakhouse

etc.

 

Basically, if carbs aren't hitting the spot, I'd focus on the next best thing for putting on weight: fat. As you probably know, fat has 9 calories per gram, whereas protein and carbohydrates have 4. Cheese and peanut butter are good high fat choices since they also contain some protein.

 

If you want to go the route of protein/meal replacement shakes, I'd try this:

 

1 Rounded scoop of Whey Protein, preferably chocolate

1/3 cup of natural peanut butter

1 banana

 

Add enough milk to produce the desired consistency and ensure full mixing, and drink up! Add whipped cream on top if you want it to look and taste purty.

 

Anyway, definitely focus on foods with high caloric densities. You will be able to eat less, bulk wise, but get more of a caloric load with high fat foods. Best of luck on your recovery.

 

Thanks, TMan...as always a helpful post. I'm definitely going to try doing protein shakes since I think that's my best bet. I will say the one thing I've been eating a decent amount of is peanut butter...because I know it's fatty, filling, and has protein, so I've been trying to just dunk crackers or celery or apples or whatever in it.

 

Hmmm...bloomin' onion haha...it's been ages since I had one of those!!

 

Is there nothing that you find appetizing, at all? Does the thought of all food repulse you, or you can tolerate some better than others?

 

Hi Elswyth, well it varies. Most days nothing sounds good, and I literally force myself to eat just enough to keep my tummy quiet. Somedays, like yesterday, I'll go without eating all day and then decide that something does actually sound good - yesterday it was pizza. So I ordered a pizza but I could only eat one small slice. Maybe this was due more to a "stomach shrinking" issue than a lack of appetite?

 

EasyHeart's suggestion of a milkshake is honestly the first thing that's really sounded awesome in a while...I think I'm gonna treat myself today. :)

Edited December 4, 2012 by kiss_andmakeup

[amaysngrace]

When I was going through my divorce I had the same problem. I use to eat ice cream every night with whipped cream and I was still losing weight. I also use to eat whole cheesesteaks and that helped me not lose too much but I know what you're going through. It gets to a point where it's so unattractive with no meat on your bones. Just eat the stuff you don't ordinarily eat and eat lots of it. I'd stay away from McDonalds though. That may go right through you if you aren't use to eating it. That's what it does to me.

[kiss_andmakeup]

When I was going through my divorce I had the same problem. I use to eat ice cream every night with whipped cream and I was still losing weight. I also use to eat whole cheesesteaks and that helped me not lose too much but I know what you're going through. It gets to a point where it's so unattractive with no meat on your bones. Just eat the stuff you don't ordinarily eat and eat lots of it. I'd stay away from McDonalds though. That may go right through you if you aren't use to eating it. That's what it does to me.

 

I don't plan on eating anything from there other than a milkshake, which I don't think I'll have a problem with. Burgers and etc. are not for me!

 

Thanks for commiserating though...glad to see that this is seemingly pretty normal.

[amaysngrace]

Maybe make up a pan of Mac and cheese and use whole milk or maybe a very cheesy lasagna. You can even make a vegetable lasagna but they're the kinds of foods that go down easy and have a lot of calories. But I'd definitely get some ice cream and toppings and whipped cream.

 

It's not going to last forever so enjoy it while it does.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Hello, beautiful,

 

I don't have advice about stimulating your appetite beyond just forcing yourself to eat high caloric meals and snacks at specific times of day regardless of whether you feel like it or not.

 

I didn't see your break-up thread and I just wanted to tell you that I am truly sad for your pain. I think you are a lovely woman in every way and you will surely get through this and bring all you have to offer to a relationship with a man who is ready to cherish all of that.

 

But don't waste completely away in the meanwhile!

[Sivok]

Ouch sorry about the rough breakup, kiss. I've had one like that where I completely lost my appetite as well - having to drudge through the day with that horrible zombie-like trance and having almost everything remind me of the ex (and it's like the entire world bounded together and played nothing but love/breakup songs at bars, restaurants, and the radio). I lost 36 pounds the first time I went through something like that - not a healthy cut though at all.

 

The following times I did what alot of people here suggested - protein shakes. Particularly mass-gainer shakes. Tons of calories only a slurp away.

[Els]

Yes, do treat yourself. My honest opinion is that 'perfectly healthy eating' is overrated. It may be necessary if you're obese and really need to slim down, but for most of us, there's absolutely nothing wrong with a moderate helping of M&Ms, pizza, or milkshake. And seeing as you need to get some calories, you really should treat yourself! This means more than just food, too. Everyday, think about what you'd really like to have - a scented bubble bath, or a nice cup of tea with a good book, or an indulgent chocolate milkshake... and pamper yourself with it. You'll eventually find yourself enjoying life more, having something to look forward to, being able to relax, and hopefully having your appetite return.

[kiss_andmakeup]

Hello, beautiful,

 

I don't have advice about stimulating your appetite beyond just forcing yourself to eat high caloric meals and snacks at specific times of day regardless of whether you feel like it or not.

 

I didn't see your break-up thread and I just wanted to tell you that I am truly sad for your pain. I think you are a lovely woman in every way and you will surely get through this and bring all you have to offer to a relationship with a man who is ready to cherish all of that.

 

But don't waste completely away in the meanwhile!

 

Thanks, Mme. Your words help. At least I know, now, that I'm going to be okay. That was hard for me to grasp or imagine the first couple of days, but I can see light at the end of the tunnel now.

 

Your kindness and wisdom is always so very much appreciated.

 

Ouch sorry about the rough breakup, kiss. I've had one like that where I completely lost my appetite as well - having to drudge through the day with that horrible zombie-like trance and having almost everything remind me of the ex (and it's like the entire world bounded together and played nothing but love/breakup songs at bars, restaurants, and the radio).

 

Yep, that initially was part of it - even my favourite foods and restaurants reminded me of him, so stuff that would normally have been a comfort food turned vomit-inducing. A**hole. Had to ruin our relationship AND sushi.

 

Yes, do treat yourself. My honest opinion is that 'perfectly healthy eating' is overrated. It may be necessary if you're obese and really need to slim down, but for most of us, there's absolutely nothing wrong with a moderate helping of M&Ms, pizza, or milkshake. And seeing as you need to get some calories, you really should treat yourself! This means more than just food, too. Everyday, think about what you'd really like to have - a scented bubble bath, or a nice cup of tea with a good book, or an indulgent chocolate milkshake... and pamper yourself with it. You'll eventually find yourself enjoying life more, having something to look forward to, being able to relax, and hopefully having your appetite return.

 

I agree, I'm going to try to do that. Thanks Elswyth.

[amaysngrace]

Yes, do treat yourself. My honest opinion is that 'perfectly healthy eating' is overrated. It may be necessary if you're obese and really need to slim down, but for most of us, there's absolutely nothing wrong with a moderate helping of M&Ms, pizza, or milkshake.

 

You sound like someone with a high metabolism too.

 

My exMIL use to say I should be fat with all the crap I eat.

[EasyHeart]

Thanks EH, my mom (who is Italian and was already always fretting about my weight, bless her soul) suggested picking up some Ensure or something like that...I think those are the "old people shakes"....is that what you were referring to?

YES!! THAT'S IT!!! It's like you read my mind!!!

 

Which makes me really, really nervous . . .

[kiss_andmakeup]

YES!! THAT'S IT!!! It's like you read my mind!!!

 

Which makes me really, really nervous . . .

 

I probably should have mentioned that I'm a psychic. Sorry about that.

[EasyHeart]

I probably should have mentioned that I'm a psychic. Sorry about that.

Hmmm. I've dated a lot of psychos. Is that the same thing?

 

 

 

 

 

You should make one of these:

OREO Milk Shake

 

4 tsp. chocolate syrup

8 OREO Cookies, divided

1-1/2 cups milk

2 cups Vanilla Ice Cream, softened

 

SPOON 1 tsp. syrup into each of 4 glasses. Roll each glass to coat bottom and inside of glass. Finely chop 4 cookies; set aside.

 

QUARTER remaining cookies; place in blender. Add milk and ice cream; blend until smooth.

 

POUR into prepared glasses; top with chopped cookies. Serve immediately.

[kiss_andmakeup]

Hmmm. I've dated a lot of psychos. Is that the same thing?

 

 

 

 

 

You should make one of these:

OREO Milk Shake

 

4 tsp. chocolate syrup

8 OREO Cookies, divided

1-1/2 cups milk

2 cups Vanilla Ice Cream, softened

 

SPOON 1 tsp. syrup into each of 4 glasses. Roll each glass to coat bottom and inside of glass. Finely chop 4 cookies; set aside.

 

QUARTER remaining cookies; place in blender. Add milk and ice cream; blend until smooth.

 

POUR into prepared glasses; top with chopped cookies. Serve immediately.

 

That sounds delicious! Wish I had read this before I went to the store!

[EasyHeart]

Just stick with us, kid. We'll fatten you up and then you'll have to change your username to kissandmakechubby.

[tigressA]

I have gone through this a lot, not necessarily with breakups, but with other stressful times--I don't even notice it happening for a while and then boom, one morning I realize how loose my skinny-fit jeans are, I look in the mirror and I look 10 pounds lighter. It most recently happened with my abortion. Right now I'm the thinnest I've been in years; almost none of my bras fit me properly anymore.

 

I saw you mentioned stomach shrinkage earlier in the thread; I can identify with that. When I go through times like this, eating much less, I find I feel sick if I suddenly regain my appetite and stuff myself. It's best to go slow--start small and work your way up. Like Elswyth said, go ahead and indulge in 'junk' right now if that's what you need to do to get some calories in you. I've been eating a lot of cookies lately

 

I didn't know you were a vegetarian until Tman mentioned it--my SO is one, and I'm not, but I entertained him this past weekend and whipped up some nice things. If you like pancakes, make them with canned pumpkin and sweeten the batter with cinnamon sugar! They come out really moist and fluffy and go down really easily, plus pumpkin is good for you. If you like hot chocolate, make it with eggnog, which is really rich and fattening. Adds a nice dimension of flavor, too. Think of little changes like that--if you drink a lot of coffee, add full-fat milk or heavy cream instead of going lighter, if you don't drink it black. Sometimes I randomly get a spoonful of peanut butter and drizzle it with honey.

 

Stews and soups are good too, once you're in the mood for something heartier, and they keep for a good amount of time. You can parcel out servings, keep leftovers in the fridge or freezer. I made a black bean stew with wild rice, tomatoes, okra and mushrooms, simmered in vegetable stock and tomato paste. Mashed potatoes whipped with heavy cream and butter, with some cheese...

 

I hope you feel better soon!

[FitChick]

Haagen Dazs.