Asuncion Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 Well, I'm in my mid- twenties, and I have been with my husband since I was in my early twenties. (We don't have kids). We got along well, and I love him dearly, but since a week more or less I'm dealing with an unwanted crush that consumes my time and energies, and makes me feel awkward. (Even my husband notices my strange behavior). He is a classmate and until the last week, he was invisible to me, but since the last week when he came to me to ask something, we locked eyes, for about 6 seconds, and then I began to feel weird about him, and developed such attraction to him, that I cant really look him in his eyes anymore. The thing is that I think he feels the same because, during the time we locked eyes he got nervous, and was speechless for about 3 seconds, which seems an eternity , just like if the whole world stopped, and since then I noticed him starring and me , and trying to lock eyes with me whenever I enter or go out and during the class. I feel so ridiculous, blushing whenever he looks at me, feeling like a high school student again, and don't find how to get him out of my head. I would like to talk this with the guy just to laugh , but I'm afraid this could turn worse, and I don't think my husband would be very comprehensive. Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 Well, I'm in my mid- twenties, and I have been with my husband since I was in my early twenties. (We don't have kids). We got along well, and I love him dearly, but since a week more or less I'm dealing with an unwanted crush that consumes my time and energies, and makes me feel awkward. (Even my husband notices my strange behavior). He is a classmate and until the last week, he was invisible to me, but since the last week when he came to me to ask something, we locked eyes, for about 6 seconds, and then I began to feel weird about him, and developed such attraction to him, that I cant really look him in his eyes anymore. The thing is that I think he feels the same because, during the time we locked eyes he got nervous, and was speechless for about 3 seconds, which seems an eternity , just like if the whole world stopped, and since then I noticed him starring and me , and trying to lock eyes with me whenever I enter or go out and during the class. I feel so ridiculous, blushing whenever he looks at me, feeling like a high school student again, and don't find how to get him out of my head. I would like to talk this with the guy just to laugh , but I'm afraid this could turn worse, and I don't think my husband would be very comprehensive. You are normal, don't worry about it. A human has the capacity to not act on those instincts. Just keep yourself under control. Once you have been married for a while there will be many others that will turn you on. Unless, you are particularly vulnerable to male attention. In any event just tell your H you are hot for that classmate. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
eleanorrigby Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 There will never be a time easier then now to pour water on that flame and put it out. Each day that you feed this crush, the bigger it will get. Right now you say you love your husband dearly and you get along well, if you keep feeding this crush, your tune may change drastically. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 There will never be a time easier then now to pour water on that flame and put it out. Each day that you feed this crush, the bigger it will get. Right now you say you love your husband dearly and you get along well, if you keep feeding this crush, your tune may change drastically. Yeah! The more she crushed on this guy the more defects her H will develop. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs.Dee Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 Reading stories like yours, make me feel I am not so abnormal after all . Have also been in a relationship for many years now, but still get small crushes on other men, especially if they also seem interested in me. I think such feelings are normal, it is what you do to those feeling that matter 4 Link to post Share on other sites
eleanorrigby Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 Reading stories like yours, make me feel I am not so abnormal after all . Have also been in a relationship for many years now, but still get small crushes on other men, especially if they also seem interested in me. I think such feelings are normal, it is what you do to those feeling that matter I agree. When I worked outside the home, I would crush on co-workers all the time. If one was nice to me, I would start looking at him differently, and the crush would start. Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 I agree. When I worked outside the home, I would crush on co-workers all the time. If one was nice to me, I would start looking at him differently, and the crush would start. So did I. Crushing is a normal part of our human existence. However, if OP is MOW material this crushing could be HUGE.:D 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Asuncion Posted December 5, 2012 Author Share Posted December 5, 2012 Thanks ladies, at least I know I'm not alone, but its very difficult to stop looking him, because in our classroom there are less than 6 persons. The thing is this guy remembers me a friend of mine, who I have a crush too. I think I always fall for the same types of guys. My fear is that he notices my attraction, because the last time I saw him, I was very nervous, and I developed a tic touching my hair lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Asuncion Posted December 5, 2012 Author Share Posted December 5, 2012 Do you think I should tell him? Or I should keep it to myself? Link to post Share on other sites
eleanorrigby Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 Do you think I should tell him? Or I should keep it to myself? Keep it to yourself!!!!!!!!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Asuncion Posted December 5, 2012 Author Share Posted December 5, 2012 But I'm dying to know if he feels the same too, I don't know why, but I would like to know. Because maybe its just my imagination. Link to post Share on other sites
eleanorrigby Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 But I'm dying to know if he feels the same too, I don't know why, but I would like to know. Because maybe its just my imagination. All aboard for the infidelity train! Hello Ma'am I have a seat for you right here! Let me check your ticket. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 Do you think I should tell him? Or I should keep it to myself? Do not say a word to him about you feel, it's pointless as you're married and unavailable to pursue him, to take it to the next level. Keep it in perspective. It's just a crush. You're married, not dead! It's OK to have attractions to others, crushes etc, it's really what you do and how you handle it is what counts. It is what it is and eventually it'll die a natural death ... That is, if you leave it alone! If you flirt with him, talk to him, get to know him better, it'll feed your feelings and could get you into loads of trouble as you'll be opening the door the other things.. Just don't go there! Focus that energy into your husband instead! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 But I'm dying to know if he feels the same too, I don't know why, but I would like to know. Because maybe its just my imagination. That's ego talking! Assume he feels a connection too. Yet even if you know, again, it's pointless because you're a married woman and unavailable to pursue him. If the situation was reversed, how would you hope/expect your husband to react and handle a possible crush on another woman? Apply that to yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 But I'm dying to know if he feels the same too, I don't know why, but I would like to know. Because maybe its just my imagination. He likes you. He would love to have sex with you. Does that give you enough validation for today? How more obvious does it have to be?:rolleyes: 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Asuncion Posted December 5, 2012 Author Share Posted December 5, 2012 Thanks for the replies, I won't tell him, but yes I think its an ego thing, I don't know but the ways he looks at me tell me he does feel something, because when I enter his face will light, and he will say hello (before locked eyes he didn't) and look me deep in the eyes. Eyes are a powerful tool... Hell this is so difficult, I'm in a foreign country and the guy its like 10 years older than me but gorgeous, really really gorgeous, and he seems to be a good guy. I can tell. Well may God guide me through these months, and put my thoughts in order. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Asuncion Posted December 5, 2012 Author Share Posted December 5, 2012 But I don't think all he wants is sex, I think he feels something more deep, because he is the shy kind of guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 But I don't think all he wants is sex, I think he feels something more deep, because he is the shy kind of guy. Why is important to know what he feels for you? I get the crush. We all do that. But, why do you need to know how he feels about you? I think this is very important. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 You're making a lot of assumptions about this guy and you don't know him. At all! You don't know if he has feelings for you or if he just wants to have sex with you and is having lustful thoughts as you are for him. I'll say it again, it doesn't matter because you're married. Don't let ego and curiosity ruin your marriage. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Asuncion Posted December 5, 2012 Author Share Posted December 5, 2012 You are right whichwayisup, but I'm not having lustful thoughts, I'm just obsessed with him in a ways that I used to do when I was a teenager, but yes I got the message, I will try to stay "away" from him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Asuncion Posted December 5, 2012 Author Share Posted December 5, 2012 Why is important to know what he feels for you? I get the crush. We all do that. But, why do you need to know how he feels about you? I think this is very important. I don't know maybe because I'm idealizing him? and he is so misterious to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 I don't know maybe because I'm idealizing him? and he is so misterious to me. You have an emotional need that is not met by your husband. I suspect you love romance and attention. Maybe your husband does not look at you with the same intensity in his eyes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Asuncion Posted December 5, 2012 Author Share Posted December 5, 2012 (edited) edited.............. Edited December 5, 2012 by Asuncion Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 You are right, he doesn't. And it kind of hurts me. But he says he loves me, but we don't have any intimacy since a loooooooong time ago. Heck I'm afraid my crush read this , imagine how embarrasing. OK, this is the real problem. That is why the crush seems so HUGE. Are you saying no sex? And you are in your mid 20s? Could you explain? What kind of attention you need from your H? Out of curiosity. Are you Muslim? Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 Heck I'm afraid my crush read this , imagine how embarrasing. Philandering men can sense women like you a mile away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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