An unwanted crush!

[Pierre]

So, why should I do when he come from work, if he continues with the idea of telling everybody? and then how do I tell my family that my marriage failed and that I am back home? If he still wants me out.

 

Are you in Paraguay? Is your H a Latin "macho"?

[eleanorrigby]

So, why should I do when he come from work, if he continues with the idea of telling everybody? and then how do I tell my family that my marriage failed and that I am back home? If he still wants me out.

 

He's got nothing on you but a crush, that you revealed to him.

I don't know about your parents, but I was married young and if for some reason I had come back home at 23 or 24 my mom would have been thrilled to pieces! lol

Nothing is ever as bad as it seems like it's going to be.

[veryhappy]

Does religion play a big part in your life?

 

Not wanting to get a divorce because you are young is such a waste of your youth.

 

Your husband called you a slut. Wakeup call? That's a happy marriage for you that you don't want to lose? I have told my H about the A before and when it started and he never called me any names. Your husband is the type who'll shove you up the wall one day under the eyes of your kids.

 

Instead of going inertially with protecting what you think you have (the marriage), take a look at things and see why you wanted to escape your marriage in the first place.

[Owl]

So, why should I do when he come from work, if he continues with the idea of telling everybody? and then how do I tell my family that my marriage failed and that I am back home? If he still wants me out.

 

You tell him that you did nothing wrong. You told him when you started to develop the crush in the hope that he'd be the man he could turn to for love and support.

 

If he tells everyone else that you "crushed" on some guy in class and throws you out...he looks like the idiot loser, not you.

 

Sounds to me like you're better off without this guy.

[alexandria35]

I'm so sorry that your husband has reacted this way. He is being an immature unreasonable jerk. Years ago when I was with my alcoholic ex he came to me one night and told me about an infatuation he was developing for another woman. I was hurt of course but I controlled those emotions so that I could hear what he was trying to tell me. We had several long heart to heart conversations about our feelings, expectations, needs etc. It brought us closer and he soon got over his crush and I was grateful that he trusted me enough to open up to me and tell me what he was feeling. I really respected him for that.

 

Your husbands response is just over the top and totally unreasonable. You opened up to him and showed him honesty and trust, you let yourself be vulnerable to him and now he's missing the perfect opportunity to build closeness and intimacy with you and instead acting like a rotten spoiled child. Maybe give him a day or two to calm down and get his head straightened out. If he doesn't change his attitude or if he gets worse then I think you have a big problem in him as a husband. There will never be any true intimacy between you if you can't go to him with things like this. It's silly to stay married to him just because you don't want to be divorced young or because your families might judge you. Sometimes the most mature thing we can do is to identify the problem and then take steps to fix that problem as quickly as we can.