My girl is an online attention seeker.

[Psilocybin]

You could be the kind of steady guy that is just what she needs to sort of settle down a bit.

 

But having said that - women like to talk, and this one is definitely a talker. Hopefully she picks a job that involves talking - because she evidently has people-skills.

 

Trying to overly control her is going to be a disaster. But being the strong guy who is clean and smells nice (soap smell, not cologne) and is a little busy with other stuff when he comes to visit her - could make a big impact on her.

 

She seems to have caught your interest. You are so quiet and steady. And she is quite outgoing.

 

The slightest thing can turn her off, so be respectful of her space when you are there.

 

If you do end up visiting her .... I hope you have a really good time.

 

Could you go into a bit more detail on what you mean here? your post caught my attention.

 

What do you mean busy with other stuff / is respectful of her space?

 

She is the more talkative one - while I want to talk to her more than she seems to want to talk to me, im actually concerned about needing some space while im there. I'd need to take a walk or have some alone time for sure. Maybe what you meant was that, if shes more talkative, she'll want to talk to other people too and i shouldn't tag along too hard? Possibility. Also possible that now that im in physical presence with her, she'll want to talk a ton. idk.

[TMichaels]

Whatever - When she WANTS to talk and is in the mood / enjoying her time with me, things are great. Unfortunately this isn't as common as it should be, so i will probably end things after seeing her. But i confidently think that during the time I am visiting her we will both be pretty uplifted and have a fun time.

 

This is not the first time you've remarked to the effect: "Yeah, I'm going to see her, I'm sure we'll have a good time, but I'll end things when I get back home."

 

Can you please explain to me: What exactly is the point?

 

Are you that bored, self-absorbed, or vindictive that you're going through with this visit simply as an idle amusement, only to satisfy your own needs, or teach her some sort of lesson?

 

Maybe you aren't, but that's the way what you've written comes off -- at least to me.

 

Best,

TMichaels

[Carenth]

This is not the first time you've remarked to the effect: "Yeah, I'm going to see her, I'm sure we'll have a good time, but I'll end things when I get back home."

 

Can you please explain to me: What exactly is the point?

 

Are you that bored, self-absorbed, or vindictive that you're going through with this visit simply as an idle amusement, only to satisfy your own needs, or teach her some sort of lesson?

 

Maybe you aren't, but that's the way what you've written comes off -- at least to me.

 

Best,

TMichaels

 

I think it's more he hopes he has a fun time... (I doubt it) and that he hasn't just wasted a bunch of money on someone who doesn't care about him, whilst trying to appear nonchalant about the whole situation. Though this is just building up unrealistic expectations which will make it more disappointing. My personal opinion anyway.

[justwhoiam]

I think it's more he hopes he has a fun time...

He just has no one else to visit... I mean no other girl as an option. That's the only one. Maybe less time invested on her and he might have known someone else worth a visit. We'll never know. He didn't consider he might feel like a loser if things go wrong, or if she lacks respect, he didn't think of his possible reactions as a guy. He's just willing to take anything like a doormat. And also, another thing he didn't consider well enough is his feelings. Like a guy can switch anyone on and off as they wish. It comes a time when you want to forget someone and you can't... Hopefully he won't get too involved and the girl is nice enough... Or he'll be taught a nice lesson. The irony would be he regrets even going there once he's back.

[Radu]

i know some people really need attention from others (girls or guys) whether it's in real life (like at the bar) or on the net.

 

i for one don't see why girls (or guys) would really need attention from other people when they're getting it from their boy/girlfriends who they like or love.

 

when i first started talking to my boyfriend we were skyping every single day. since he was working overseas we didn't have much other choice. we were literally skyping everyday for 5+ hours easy. it was funny cause i'd never skyped anyone before

 

anyways... sorry to ramble, but what i mean is that i didn't need or even want attention from anyone else except him and we weren't even officially dating. i didn't even have any interest (or energy) in getting attention from anyone else.

 

something just doesn't seem quite.... right....

 

best of luck to you though!!

 

Because to these ppl, relationships [such as that of FB friends] are an asset.

 

We all were collecting something when we were kids, dolls, turbo surprise stickers with cars on them, baseball cards, pokemons, etc ...

Well, these ppl are packrats when it comes to relationships and relationships to them are assets.

[Taramere]

I completely agree, and am happy for you that BOTH of you have this feeling. I am (was) crazy about her and did not want to really do much else but talk to her. I DEFINITELY was not interested in meeting new people i didn't already know - just couldn't find the point in it. I had a girl and great friends.

 

Whatever - When she WANTS to talk and is in the mood / enjoying her time with me, things are great. Unfortunately this isn't as common as it should be, so i will probably end things after seeing her. But i confidently think that during the time I am visiting her we will both be pretty uplifted and have a fun time.

 

Are you going to be staying with her, and will you be dependent on her to show you around/keep you entertained?

 

If you've made up your mind to go on this trip and bought the tickets, then you may as well make the best of it - but I think you'd be well advised to research the area in advance, identify some things you'd like to do/see while you're there and be prepared to do them on your own. Preparation for independence is the best defence against things going badly wrong in these LDR situations.

[Pink Princess]

I completely agree, and am happy for you that BOTH of you have this feeling. I am (was) crazy about her and did not want to really do much else but talk to her. I DEFINITELY was not interested in meeting new people i didn't already know - just couldn't find the point in it. I had a girl and great friends.

 

Whatever - When she WANTS to talk and is in the mood / enjoying her time with me, things are great. Unfortunately this isn't as common as it should be, so i will probably end things after seeing her. But i confidently think that during the time I am visiting her we will both be pretty uplifted and have a fun time.

 

i totally know what you mean and am there with you 110%!

if/when you do go to visit her though have back up plans ready just in case things go south. i always have tons of them...

 

good luck!!

[Pink Princess]

Because to these ppl, relationships [such as that of FB friends] are an asset.

 

We all were collecting something when we were kids, dolls, turbo surprise stickers with cars on them, baseball cards, pokemons, etc ...

Well, these ppl are packrats when it comes to relationships and relationships to them are assets.

 

touche. i completely agree and already know the type. i don't want to put any labels since every person is different and has different motives on why they do certain things, it just saddens me and frustrates me when people's feelings are hurt over it.

[coffeebean201]

She may push your buttons with this behaviour and you have to decide how you are going to handle it .... before you are in the thick of the situation.

 

It is going to take a lot of patience on your part, meaning you are going to want to say something and it is better not to.

 

I don't recommend too much tagging along with her activites, some is fine, but you have to be busy with your own stuff as well. Even married people don't hang out 100% time with each other.

 

You started this whole thread with "my girl is an online attention seeker". And you have to be your own man while you are there.

[Psilocybin]

As an update:

 

I went. We had a really amazing week. I have never enjoyed my Christmas more or felt happier. We did not get sick of eachother, things didn't fizzle out. We just really enjoyed eachothers company, and had great laughs, never enjoyed someones company more than I did, and i hope/think she felt the same.

 

Unfortunately we argued about something on the last night. Intimacy is hard for her because shes a rape victim, a year ago. Sex wasn't going to happen, we both agreed and I was fine with it. But i didn't realize all intimacy was difficult for her, so I brought up our lack of any intimacy. She explained it was hard for the same reason, but at the same time, it set her off like an atom bomb, she blew up, pushed me off, said we are too different / argue too much, and gave me the silent treatment. Sat in the car for a hour on the way to the airport, not speaking to me. Wouldn't look at me or speak to me as I said my goodbyes to her and walked into the airport.

 

Messaged her on facebook asking to talk, woke up and she removed me and won't talk.

 

Rough ending and my first breakup like this, it sucks pretty bad. Really I guess it didn't end well, but at least I can say that, besides how horrid the ending was, the week really did turn out incredible and I had an amazing time, regardless of what people speculated on this forum and whatnot.

[umirano]

Interesting. Thanks for the update! I'm happy you don't beat yourself up over it. Put the story away as a learning experience, and move on to find a girl that's easier to handle. Good luck, and happy new year!

[tori0001]

Regardless, glad you had a good time.