→This is Crazy! But He's Calling Me, So Maybe?

[Tafita]

Short summary -

Four dates in 1.5 months, the guy always contacts

me. ALL the time. Slept together on the 4th

date, we've been in communication ever since

(3 weeks now), but he hasn't asked me out.

We both work long hours, and live an hour

away from each other. The day after, I got sick

the next day with some bug that lasted for two weeks.

Maybe my body was worn out from the night we

were, erm, together or I was going through some

kind of love transformation.

 

Fork in the road.

Sleeping together too soon aside, the other day we were

texting back and forth (he initiated contact). I don’t recall

how the conversation came up, but during our convo -

I mentioned about wanting to go to lunch together

(some would say this is a poo poo on my part,

since I’ve initiated dates, but I don’t believe in

following “dating rules” though maybe

I’m not understanding them correctly...).

 

Which, is what I kind of need help with.

 

I figured I'd keep it light with the mention of lunch,

nothing over the top. After I mentioned lunch, he started

playfully teasing me. I can’t recall verbatim what was

said, but after some teasing on both our parts back and

forth, he said he’s just busting my chops and to let him

know when a good day/time was for lunch. Naturally,

I’m thinking at this point, well I just pretty much just

asked YOU that question. I called him on his response

and he said something along the lines of that "neither

of us know each other well enough yet for him to jump

first into something he is unsure about".

 

Now in my other thread, the ladies said that I have

pursued him too much (with initiating/planning all the dates).

But in another thread, some of the guys said that he's been

doing a lot of chasing with the calls. Ahh! Maybe I am too

focused on semantics because their isn't enough of an

emotional connection. He's hard to read in person,

very quiet whereas I am more bubbly and

physically expressive (for example, one time I just

went for it and kissed him!).

 

He's unsure, so now I'm unsure too... Yet, he

keeps calling/texting me ALL the time. Half the time,

he just listens when we talk and goes "hmmm",

or "uh-huh".

 

Is he just bored or something?!

[Tafita]

WTF? The guy is making a big deal about committing to a date for freakin LUNCH? And then he launches into some silly tirade about not 'jumping' into something he's 'unsure' about? How the hell did he get into that nonsense from a simple invitation to lunch?

 

I don't know. You would think I was asking for his hand in marriage or something. It's just lunch, sheesh.

 

Bet he wasn't 'unsure' about jumping in bed with you, though.

 

Nope. Though, I was pretty aggressive physically but it's not like he was just sitting there while it happened. His eyes lit up like a boy on Christmas Day. It was either fear or joy, who knows. It's not like I am some 800 pound woman with a beard.

 

Well, he hasn't asked you out in 3 weeks and when you finally DID try to get the ball rolling, all you got for your trouble was a big run-around.

 

He sounds like one of those types who get their kicks from constant texing and flirting but simply don't have the desire - or the ambition - to put in the effort to actually date and build a relationship.

 

He's a time waster.

 

[veggirl]

Though, I was pretty aggressive physically but it's not like he was just sitting there while it happened.

 

WAIT. you even had to initiate the SEX?!?!?!

 

sheesh!! forget this guy!

[Tafita]

WAIT. you even had to initiate the SEX?!?!?!

 

sheesh!! forget this guy!

 

I sold my soul to the devil, didn't I?!

 

Here is/was my problem. I'm used to guys hitting on me, trying to touch me and what not. So, here was someone who did none of that, and the wild beast in me was unleashed! And of course, I was very attracted to him.

 

He did try to hold my hand a couple times if that accounts for something. Oh and when we woke up the next day, I woke up to him kissing my forehead and being all lovey dovey.

[tigressA]

Of late, when I see these types of threads from women asking if a man is interested, analyzing every little thing...I just get tired. So tired.

 

I have had experience with guys giving me the run-around, and guys who were truly, consistently interested. The difference is night and day.

 

If you have to wonder, if you have to ask--they're not interested. End. Of. Story.

 

Next!

[Tafita]

Of late, when I see these types of threads from women asking if a man is interested, analyzing every little thing...I just get tired. So tired.

 

I have had experience with guys giving me the run-around, and guys who were truly, consistently interested. The difference is night and day.

 

If you have to wonder, if you have to ask--they're not interested. End. Of. Story.

 

Next!

 

Lol, okay okay. I see what you're saying... A very logical interpretation which makes complete sense.