health Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 My girl angered me yesterday by wearing tight clothes without me...cause she said she wanted to wear light clothes for the doctor to see how much she weighs...I ask if anyone tried to pick her up..she said she got hollared at. I hate it when people whistle at her. I let her wear whatever..it still kills me though....we got in an argument...she chilled with her friends after....now I left her house for a bit..and her friend comes in...Im not allowed in her room and this friend is....the dad lets him I walk in and the dad tell s me shes busy then I see the with her...man! This cat askd to see her breasts once! thats bull****. I was too hurt so let her chill with him she said noo noo don't go...he is just a frined..Im jealous though..I said id be back in an hour...Im going there now.....I think im just over stressed and nervouse lately....aghrr..I don't chill with my girlfriends..all she has is guy friends..I feel like calling my girl friends (just friends) to chill with...damn! AAAHHHHH! Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 : Definitely do not kill yourself over this. What specifically bothers you about her wearing attractive clothing? Do you trust her to remain faithful to you? Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 It sounds like you have some severe anger management issues. I let her wear whatever That's...such a wrong thing to say. You LET her wear whatever? As in, you own her and you allow her to do certain things and not to do certain things? C'mon, man... Link to post Share on other sites
The_Analyzer Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 I would hope you wouldn't do something like that. However, since you admitted that you're to that point, you might want to see about getting some counseling. You need to find out why you feel so much anger and jealousy, over the fact of what shes wearing or doing etc. Have you always been like this in other relationships, or just with your current g/f? Sounds kinda like an obession to me that needs to be addressed. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Artifact Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 You are really doing a number on yourself worrying about her. Whether or not she can be trusted, you are still feeling anxious and angry. Save yourself some pain and remove yourself from the situation. Oh, and also get some professional help in case the problem IS in your head. You don't want all of your relationships to be like this, do you? This girl could also be playing you though- who knows Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 There is no reason for you to get that angry. Why in the world would you want to commit suicide over what your girlfriend wants to wear? I think you're saying that to get attention. You sound pretty abusive. You should not get in the thinking pattern that you have control and ownership of your girlfriend. You don't. SHe had a life before you were dating her, and she will have a life when she dumps you for being a jealous jerk. Oh, and one more thing: YOU CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS. NO ONE MAKES YOU FEEL A CERTAIN WAY; YOU CHOOSE YOUR REACTIONS. You are a grown man. Act like one. Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 CONTROL FREAK !!!! Give it up man! No Woman in her right mind is going to stay with a person like you. She may stick around for a while but then she will get sick with ulcers and not sleeping.....then the next thing you know........she is posting on LoveShack about her "controlling/abusive" boyfriend and how to break up with him without him causing any more pain than HE already has. You need to get a grip man! Relax! It doesn't matter how you want your partner to act.......they are going to do what is good for them and make their own decisions. You cannot control everything. Bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted August 11, 2004 Share Posted August 11, 2004 Relax! It doesn't matter how you want your partner to act.......they are going to do what is good for them and make their own decisions. You cannot control everything. If I were ever going to teach a class on how to have a relationship, this would be my first lesson. Its so important, and its what so many problems boil down to: people want to control the people they love. It comes in so many forms: 1. the cheater who doesn't want to tell their SO, and takes control by with holding information 2. the abuser who is so insecure that they want to control from what their SO wears to who they hang out with, to how they spend their time, etc. 3. People trying to use NC to get their exes to call them, when its really meant to help heal AFTER A BREAK UP IS OVER And these are just a few! People do what they want to do. If they want to love you, they will. If they don't, then they won't. If you feel like you have to control certain aspects of some one's personality, then that person is not right for you, and you are not right for them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author health Posted August 13, 2004 Author Share Posted August 13, 2004 woah woah woah....I appologize for this post...and maybee I do need councilling. Im aware I can choose my own emotions/reactions etc...so you know what I did that day? I went there and envisioned me being happy with everyone....everyone ended up connecting..I was laughing and having fun...I transformed the situation... Although I still feel I might need some help....cause I always ask my girl so many questions when certain guys talk to her..and she gives me reassurance..yet I still can;t completely trust in my head....I really worry alot. Thanks so much to all of you though...I don't want to be or become an abusive person. I want to be level headed. Link to post Share on other sites
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