I want him back..i love and miss him soo much

[23.confused]

Hi everyone, I've never posted here or anywhere before, so my post will be long and I really appreciate everyone who reads...ok so my boyfriend and I have been together for 6years wouldve been 7years in 11days... We have been in a long distant relationship for almost 3years now, because he enlisted in the army. We have made it work very well, every time he'd get some money saved up he would fly me to him when he had days off and all of our visits have always been so wonderful, we both cry from happiness when my plane arrives and cry from saddness when my plane leaves...we have both talked about how much our hearts have grown founder and deeper in love due to being apart. Before he left for the army in 2010 he told me that as soon as his 4years of service was up he promised me he wanted to marry me and really start of furture together, since by then ill have some schooling done and he'll be finished with the army. When he went off to basics, we both wrote letters to each other everyday. All his letters talked about how enlisting was a huge mistake, because he loved and missed me soo much. He started telling me that being gone helps him see more clearly about how important I am, and that he wanted to marry me as soon as he could cuz he cant wait intil he gets out and that as soon as he was done with ait and jumpimg out of airplane school he is moving me there to live with him. He told me that no matter what he will not loss me cuz I'm the love of his life. Well after 6months thoses schools wete done with but we didn't move me there...he said he wants to and will, but he just doesn't h

ave the money he thought he would. I was a lil sad but we were still so much in love taking on the phone evey night for hours, and we still got to see each other about every two months for a week long visit everytime. We still talked about marriage our furture together, he even told his mom about his feelings for me. well in oct of 2011 he made his first 8month deployment, and we were both feeling sad about not being able to see each other for 8 months or talk on the phone much, but thru emails, limited calls, and some txt msgs...WE MADE IT THRU OUR FIRST DEPLOYMENT!! He came home june 15 2012 and when we seen each other it was like all that time apart didn't matter, we where just as happy and loving as ever before! And a couple of months before he came home from deployment, we were for sure going to move me there to live with him before he deployed again, that's all he talked to me about! We were so excited about getting a place together! He said itll probably be aug before he would be able to find us a place because of his 0500 to 6pm everyday work schedule. So after he came home for two weeks after deployment he went back..and again our visit was great! Then he surprised me by flying me to see him after I just seen him a month ago! So I flew to north carolina and we went to wilmington, ralieghy and just had a blast for a week and a half! We talked so much again about future planning and how much he needs me forever, alot of pillow talk, then the morning my plane was going to leave he asked me to stay so we can try to find a place together right now, so I stayed an additional 3days and we didn't find anything cheap or close enough to post...so I flew back home. I was reallu upset because he had been telling me that I will live up there with him...so yea I was hurt, but we continued on and were still happy in love, calling every night and txting each other all day, until nov20th I called him upset cuz the past 2days he hadn't called me and only txt when he txt me first...so I called him crying and complaining that after almost 7years were not living together or anything that he has been saying and that I miss him so much..he said he misses me too and that he's sorry and so in the heat of the moment...i made things worst by saying,"if u really loved and missed me you would have me there with you"..and I hurt his feelings...but I was just so upset cuz I've been hearing that we are going to be living together soon and at that point it was too late to move me there cuz he's going to deploy again in january..but I was sad the opportunity had pasted...so afyer that night he didn't txt me intil I txt him the next morning..and we txt most of the day, then he just decided to stop txting that evening and didn't call, the next day I was really feeling confused, but he txt me first and said happy thanksgiving, so I replied, but in a kinda short way cuz I was upset again that he didn't call the night before..but we continued txting all day and into the night just regular taking no rudeness, but he still didn't call tho? So the next day he didn't txt me until I txt first again..and I asked him he loves me, and he said yes you know I do, but again we didn't talk much and no nightly call, so I called him and he answered, I asked him why he wasn't talking much, and he said he has just been thinking about stuff, I asked him if there was someone else and he said,"no"so we talked and laughed for a while, but then when we ended our conversation he didn't say I love you, just goodnight..and he is always the one to say it first.. But he was still calling me "baby, and honey"...again the next day was a repeat..i called him that night cuz he was being short with me and then he just went thru this rant of him saying that he loves me but he doesn't know how he feels so he hasn't felt like talking...i was crying and he was irratated, because of me crying, then he started saying that he's not sure anymore what he wants from us and that his is extremely stressed, financially, mentally, physically and emotionally... And that I'm always upset and he's tired of feeling like crap cuz he isn't want I want...so we got off the phone and he sent me a txt saying goodnight so I replied and he asked how I feel about us, and I said I've felt great about us and he replied "ok babe". I txt him the next day and we talked him still refering to me a dear, baby, and honey and he sent smiley faces...but he don't txt long and no calls...then yesterday he tells me he cant sleep cuz he keeps thinking about us and that he doesn't know how he feels..so I of course pledded with him and told him how much I love him and that he means everthing to me, and he said I love you too but not in the same way I did..and that he views me as more of his best friend..so I'm so heartbroken and don't understand where all this came from? We were just talking a week before this all started that he cant wait to get out of army and start school and for me and him to get a place together and to go on a lil trip..he was sending me pics of dogs to see which ones I liked, since it would be ours...PLEASE HELP!! I don't know what to do..I'm so confused and I want us back...i miss talking to him...he is my best friend but also so much more...thank you for reading..sorry its so long

[Cl0udy]

Well my ex is in the military so I can understand as well. You need to stop being a doormat and learn to be assertive. I am really sorry you are going through this. It must be hard especially since he is away and you guys have limited contact. You need to tell him ASAP. "Name" do you want to have a future with me. If he says no or I don't know you NEED to break it off for good. You say okay well I am not waiting forever. I understand you may be going through a phase, but understand that my needs are not and have not been met. I will not be your friend and step down from being your woman for so long. You have your guy friends to be friends so respect my space and I will respect yours. Take care of yourself. From that girl you will shock him. It is very important that you go NO CONTACT. Come back here if you get urges. Trust me. He is stringing you along. If there is any hope for marriage he needs to see how military life is without you. Or life in general. Please stay strong.

[23.confused]

Hey, thank you for reading! So yesterday was my first day that I went full no contact since we broke up..the day before. Its killing me soo much! I really wanna txt him or call. For the past 7years we have talked everyday and times when we couldn't due to deployment or other army stuff, but as soon as we could talk again we would! I mean seriously we talk on the phone every night and txt each other all day everyday. And now nothing! I'm so miserable. He's the person I tell everything to and visa versa. He really is my best freind but more than that too..i love him so much, and am desperate to hear his voice. I'm just so heart broken, that all I think about is him...i just can't imagine him not missing me at all considering how close we are. I just figured I'd at least get a txt saying."hey" should I wait for him to contact me or just go ahead and call him and tell him what you said..or wait??? I just don't wanna possibly miss the chance to get back together with him by not contacting him cuz he is very stubborn, what if I don't talk to him and he takes it as I don't want him when I really do?? I'm so upset, I really can't eat and can barely sleep...

[23.confused]

P.S. He is coming home for leave in one week for christmas...I'm so scared that he won't wanna see me at all while he's home...him and I were so excited about it just two weeks ago and now he's not even talking to me...and I already bought him a christmas present.. Should I try to see him while he's here or not??? What to do?

[Life'sGood]

You can see him and give him the present. I think what you need is a real end to the relationship. By phone or other technology is just not good enough. You have to see it for yourself. I know it is very hard. My boyfriend is in the military too, I can understand how terrible no contact can be. He is going through a lot too just like you.

 

If he think of you as a "best friend" he will want to see you. Keep yourself calm and compose, and show him that you are strong and you can handle hard situations.

 

Are you 23? I suggest you find something to do, get a new hobby, get to know more people, travel. Just keep yourself busy and eventually you'll get through this.

 

Good luck!

[23.confused]

Ok..i know I must sound whiney and annoying, but he just left me with so many questions. I know he said he was stressed out about everything, but normally he would've just talked to me about it. What if one of the christmas presents was a couple of scrapbook pages I made him for his scrapbook...most of them are pics of when he recently flew me there 3 months ago and the pages are of course cute and has those cute "I love you" stickers for scrapbooking...normally he would love that gift and think it was adorable...but now should I give it to him? I just miss him...we only had one year of the army to go, we made it 3years in the army just fine...he has just been my everything for so long...we started dating at 16, lost our virginities together, did some college together, we have lived together we have just been thru so much together and have been so happy..its weird but we felt like we were so connected, that sometimes he'd call me and ask me how I am, and for some reason I was sick or not feeling good and he would say,"that is so weird cuz I feel sick too" or maybe the oddest thing we are miles away, but we would both be eating pizza or thinking of the same things...i know it sounds silly, but it happened so often that we always said it's more than a coincidence..it's our special connection.. He even said that I still do make him happy..I'm just falling apart here. Should I meet him at the airport with his mom or not go? Well today was my second day of NoContact...but sadly everytime my phone rings I pray its him just to say hi...but I did go out to a local concert at a bar/club with my sister tonight, and we had fun, I got swung across the dancefloor with some guys a few times...but as soon as we left, I started to think of him and started feeling guilty that I was dancing with other guys...yes I am 23years old, I know I need to start doing more of what you said, and I'm going to try, but since deep down I'm unhappy it's really hard to get motivated to do anything..i just want him back..thank you for the advice