What am I going to do ? Jealousy and ego is clouding my thoughts.

[Kaniowl]

I don't know. I'm completely lost right now. I can't even feel confident in my deductions any more.

 

I am her best friend, so I know her, what she is thinking or what she will behave. In the relationship, I'm the quiet one, she is too, but she is more attracted to friends (because she is sociable in a intelligent way, and very humble, quick wit and funny at the same time). I've been around with her since high school, it's been 2 years. At the same time, she has another friend. That girl is also sociable, humorous and independent, and she has deep feelings with my best friend too, but never shows (her feelings are different from mine).

 

Anyway, back to the story, they had quite a long time playing with each other; sharing their interests and points of view. But after a while, they became distant; and she came to me to talk about it and ask me for advice. She said she felt that the girl I mentioned above did not give her enough like what she gave to her. I helped her, and at the moment, I became more intimate with her. And I started to love her. And we were starting to enjoy days after, still friends (or it is just me), I felt really happy and fulfilled, but I always have a feeling that she was still longing to "analyse" that girl, and to get close to her (because most of the time, around 50% she was still talking about "the problem")

 

At the moment, I'm feeling really conflicted. I saw them in class, whenever I sit next to her, that girl will always throw hard glares at me. I know that is jealousy, but that satisfaction isn't enough if your best friend was responding to it, and she keeps telling me about it (since I'm her best friend and I always pay attention to what she says). I have a feeling that my best friend doesn't see any interests in me than in that girl (since she is bossy, confident and stubborn, yet sensitive at the same time, it gives my best friend curiosity)

 

Tell me how to get out of this situation. Should I give up ? I think a lot about this, they're so good together, although I confessed to her and she was kinda... accepted. But she keeps the playful attitude with me (I think it's because she hasn't decide just yet) and talks to me about those problems cause me deep jealousy, my ego is too big. And she looks so happy whenever she's with her.

Edited December 7, 2012 by Kaniowl