Cheated on my current with my ex

[Mira692]

Yeah, I know, common topic. Sorry to everyone thinking, "oh this again." Also, sorry in advance for the lengthy description.

 

Last year, I dated my ex, Branden. We grew up together, and we tried to date, lasted less than a month. We only saw each other at school, both worked odd job hours, and neither of us drove. After we mutually broke up, yes we both agreed on it, I began talking to my current boyfriend Evan. I only knew him for four months at the time, but Branden had told me that Evan said he had a crush on me. Branden also said that Evan would be a great guy for me.

 

Well, Evan and I have been going for about 19 months now. I really do love him. The only thing is, there's been absolutely no damn sex! Sure, we've played around, but he's one of those gamers that finds finishing a gaming level with his online friends is better than their willing girlfriend in bed. It's really frustrating. It's gotten to the point where I'll tell him i want it, and he'll just go "one minute, be right there", which comes about 30 minutes later at the earliest.

 

Branden, I'm still attracted to him, after all this time. I needed a place to crash a few weeks ago to get to work easily, he offered, so I stayed the night. We ended up having sex that night, no questions asked before. Only after did he look at me with concern, and ask, "Are you and Evan okay? This isn't like you." I never cheated, or ever tried it. That night, was just something different, for both of us. We agreed for it to be a one time thing, and that was it.

 

Last night, I just needed to be out of my house, family problems, and Evan couldn't take me in because of school and work hours, so I stayed the night at Branden's again. This time we actually talked about us, and our relationship with each other. We ended up having sex again last night, and it confuses me greatly. I feel attracted to him, but I really do love Evan.

 

What i don't know about is if I should tell my boyfriend or not? And what should I do about my ex?

[Ninjainpajamas]

This is pretty common/typical with ex's, because you already have that history together and been together so it doesn't quite feel like you're "breaking the rules" in the same way and makes it a little more "ok" but that's just a fools lesson...It's still cheating just the same, sure you have this history and ultimately if you have problems in your current relationship it doesn't give you any more right to cheat on them with an ex than a total stranger, you need to realize it's the same difference to the other person being cheated on.

 

I don't think you have anything serious with your ex, he's just an ex and someone you can talk to and know well, but it's always easier to b!tch about your relationship problems who's not in the relationship with you and that gives you the sense that you're "close" to the other person when in reality you're just able to speak freely and express yourself without feeling judged, which is what people are ultimately looking for and you like most people...instead of bring up these pressing issues and problems with your current partner, you find some way around it to release that tension and frustration and then get to point the finger a little bit like "well he caused it, he wasn't there for me" and I've seen a lot of women use that mentality to make bad decisions.

 

Don't be confusing and make this complicated, you're making it all about these grand emotions "omg I love my current bf, but I feel closer to my ex...what do i do, so much drama"...trust me it's not half as complicated if you just smack yourself and tell yourself to use your head and stop blowing smoke up your own @ss...the situation is clearly not working with this Evan guy or you little miss innocent wouldn't have ever cheated on him in the first place, you broke the first rule...and that's trust. Don't start getting emo about it and saying how much you love him though and maybe we can work things out, you already took the easy road now buck up to the consequences of your decisions..after all you made them and are most at fault than anyone else in this situation.

 

Stop using your ex as a springboard for validation and ear to listen, he's the wrong guy and ultimately c'mon that wouldn't go anywhere anyway, let's be honest there. And with this other guy, your relationship obviously isn't working and he isn't there for you in the way he needs to be...yes yes now after what you did you're going to want to apologize and make it all better with your current BF but honestly just make it simple on yourself and stop spinning yourself around and someone else, and just move on...yes, do the hard thing and move on from a relationship you shouldn't even be in.

 

Then you can be single and bang around with your old ex and maybe even your new ex back and forth like a love yo-yo until you realize they both aren't any good for you and then of course you'll likely jump into another relationship...but hey, at least you moved forward right?!

[dasein]

Yes, you should tell your BF.

[road]

You need to dump your gamer BF. He will always put his games first.

 

Youth, no car, you never got to have a real relatioship with the 1st bf.