Author brokengirl3 Posted December 13, 2012 Author Share Posted December 13, 2012 Please, Sweetie, if you can, don't contact him. In the long run you will feel better, I promise you. Hugs! Thanks love thanks for your kind words !i will do my best to not contact him !My mood changes every minute though:cool: Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokengirl3 Posted December 13, 2012 Author Share Posted December 13, 2012 imagine this he says hi how are you doing and say all bullsht sorry what not and tell you he missed you and what not in the end when you get your hopes up he asked you a question,"can we be buddies? in the end,he gets an ego boost and you get a smash on your head.Think about it,personally i never take back cheaters,i believe in once a cheater always a cheater,stay NC and be strong and rest assured hes racking out his brains right now TD i know all this dear i know!You are absolutely right ! However my heart forgives everyone for everthing this is the reason people take me for granted and do not appreciate the love im giving to them. Link to post Share on other sites
MichiganMan222 Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 i know all this dear i know!You are absolutely right ! However my heart forgives everyone for everthing this is the reason people take me for granted and do not appreciate the love im giving to them. It's OK to forgive him. Just don't talk to him or take him back. Those are two different things. I'm rooting for you to stay NC. Things do happen for a reason. I was in your position once. I didn't go NC and made a fool of myself. I finally got over it and found the love of my life. Expect your situation to play out that way. The quicker you heal, the quicker you will find your love. Any contact, even a simple text reply, will set you backwards. I'm incredibly impressed that you didn't respond to his texts. I wish I had had your strength when I needed it before. Stay with us. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 The only time I have ever connected to an ex again is because I wsdnt sure about ending it. Other then that its black & white, I never contacted an ex I did not wish to see again. but he probably just feels guilty. ignore. now if only I could take my own advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokengirl3 Posted December 13, 2012 Author Share Posted December 13, 2012 MichiganMan22, people like you experienced the same situation is the reason i didnt give up or broke NC! Yes , I found the strenght and did not reply to his texts but im afraid i wish with all my heart to send me another text so as to have an excuse to talk to him! Amelie thanks dear!i im trying to hold on! Link to post Share on other sites
MichiganMan222 Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 MichiganMan22, people like you experienced the same situation is the reason i didnt give up or broke NC! Yes , I found the strenght and did not reply to his texts but im afraid i wish with all my heart to send me another text so as to have an excuse to talk to him! Amelie thanks dear!i im trying to hold on! I completely understand. I wanted texts too! Just stay strong if you get one!!! And if that's your real picture, not only is your ex a creep for cheating on you, he's an idiot!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokengirl3 Posted December 13, 2012 Author Share Posted December 13, 2012 I completely understand. I wanted texts too! Just stay strong if you get one!!! And if that's your real picture, not only is your ex a creep for cheating on you, he's an idiot!!!! im trying to take NC thing day by day !As i told before quit smoking it was piece of cake compared to this s**t!Is my real pic thanks for your nice words! Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 NC is a greatest tool we have to heal and get over our Ex's. It isn't a way to get our Ex's crawling back in our lives or as a punishment to our Ex's. It's used for us to learn to let go and move on. I'm gonna quote what Flitz wrote in a thread when he said that NC is the WORST feeling and yet most liberating thing you can do to get over a relationship (or something close to that). But, also NC has it's perks against the Ex because your silence speaks volumes! And it leaves our Ex's guessing. You go NC and you give the Ex nothing. Right know he's feeling guilty. He broke NC to ease his guilt. He wants ANY kind of response from you whether it be good or bad to ease his own guilt; therefore, his texts are selfishly motivated. If you responded back, " Hi! Yeah, I'm fine. Have a good day!" He can say to himself, " Oh! Okay! She's fine. I didn't hurt her that much. She might be a little mad at me but at least she doesn't hate me." You eased his guilt. If you responded back with, "DON'T EVER CONTACT ME AGAIN YOU STUPID DOUCHE ROCKET!" Then he can say to himself, "WOW! Really? Okay, well I'm glad I broke up with her if that's how she truely is. I can't believe she's being a royal bitch and I'm glad I'm rid of her!" You just gave him permission to forgive himself and ease his guilt. If you stay completely NC on him. I mean, going completely dark. You give him absolutely nothing. He has no idea where your head is at. He has no idea what you're thinking or how you're feeling. And because you're giving him nothing, he has to hold on to that guilt. And maybe it will teach him a lesson on how he should treat people in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokengirl3 Posted December 13, 2012 Author Share Posted December 13, 2012 i understand all the NC concept and yes maybe will teach him a lesson if i just let him feeling quilty.I can accept BU but i can not accept that i will NEVER talk him again!This is very tough!it hurts me!Maybe if i call him for one last time?i never called him or texted him after BU. Link to post Share on other sites
kristi628 Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 i understand all the NC concept and yes maybe will teach him a lesson if i just let him feeling quilty.I can accept BU but i can not accept that i will NEVER talk him again!This is very tough!it hurts me!Maybe if i call him for one last time?i never called him or texted him after BU. I dont think calling him will make you feel better. These kind of people have the amazing ability to turn things around and make you feel worse than what you are feeling already. I didnt call or text after BU either. But he ended up texting me about apartment details and after he called me names, i got emotional and went off on him. Two minutes later he posted on twitter how he was happy to be rid of me and what was he thinking being with me for so long. That did not feel good. Don't contact him. I wouldnt give him the satisfaction. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 i understand all the NC concept and yes maybe will teach him a lesson if i just let him feeling quilty.I can accept BU but i can not accept that i will NEVER talk him again!This is very tough!it hurts me!Maybe if i call him for one last time?i never called him or texted him after BU. No one ever said NC was forever. NC is used to heal and get over the relationship. NC is used to lose all of those romantic feelings that you have for him. If you ever get to the point that when you think of him all you feel is indifference, then it's probably okay to talk to him if you want, but not a second before. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokengirl3 Posted December 13, 2012 Author Share Posted December 13, 2012 Whats is the NC average time i will need to over him and heal?When i will stop thiking of him? when i will start to feel better? Link to post Share on other sites
MichiganMan222 Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 Whats is the NC average time i will need to over him and heal?When i will stop thiking of him? when i will start to feel better? Obviously all relationships are different and you'd have to be honest with yourself whether you're really over him or not, but the standard expectation I've always heard was one month for every year you were together. I don't know good of a standard that is, but it was about right for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokengirl3 Posted December 13, 2012 Author Share Posted December 13, 2012 ok 1 year =1 month therefore 9 months =3 weeks? I wil tell you how i feel right now !Like im on diet and i want to open the fringe and eat everything! Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 No one can say WHEN we get over our Ex's. You can't put a measurement on it because different strokes for different folks. Some people have a stronger emotional attachment to people than what other people do. The rule that told me that I was healing is that one day I woke up and she wasn't the first thing on my mind. THAT'S when I knew I was starting to heal. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokengirl3 Posted December 13, 2012 Author Share Posted December 13, 2012 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokengirl3 Posted December 14, 2012 Author Share Posted December 14, 2012 NC DAY12!No texts from him 8 days now!i dont know maybe will never contact me again who knows!Still thiking of him! Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokengirl3 Posted December 14, 2012 Author Share Posted December 14, 2012 SOS !Someone help me!i can not stand on this anymore!i want to talk him NOW !NC does not helping me!im thiking of him 24hrs/day !Tell me how to handle this!What do say to him?just want to talk him!im out of energy out of life! Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 NOOO. He is a loser, a cheater. What is it that you want to say to him so badly? Save your pride, do not contact him!! It's normal to feel the urge to, but don't give in. He doesn't deserve it, he doesn't deserve the satisfaction of knowing you are hurting! Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokengirl3 Posted December 14, 2012 Author Share Posted December 14, 2012 NOOO. He is a loser, a cheater. What is it that you want to say to him so badly? Save your pride, do not contact him!! It's normal to feel the urge to, but don't give in. He doesn't deserve it, he doesn't deserve the satisfaction of knowing you are hurting! I want to see how he feels about me, if he loves me ,if he missed me, if he is thiking of me all the time like i do.i deleted him from fbook not replied to his texts and i quess is difficult for him to contact me again although he maybe want it! Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 I want to see how he feels about me, if he loves me ,if he missed me, if he is thiking of me all the time like i do.i deleted him from fbook not replied to his texts and i quess is difficult for him to contact me again although he maybe want it! The only thing he feels is the new girl cuddled up beside him as he texts you thinking he can probably nail both of you at his leisure. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokengirl3 Posted December 14, 2012 Author Share Posted December 14, 2012 cavalier maybe by not contacting him im giving free space to the new girl to make him love her and forget about me !i dont want to forget me:( pls understand Link to post Share on other sites
MichiganMan222 Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 You are not giving free space by not contacting. You WILL contact him some day, just not until you're over him. Remember that. Be patient and keep being strong. When I was contacting my ex, she and her new bf were making fun of me. Don't be that person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokengirl3 Posted December 14, 2012 Author Share Posted December 14, 2012 (edited) . When I was contacting my ex, she and her new bf were making fun of me. Don't be that person. Really?they were making fun of you? My ex is not such a person but if i will contact him i thing i will lose the game 4 ever? Edited December 14, 2012 by brokengirl3 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted December 14, 2012 Share Posted December 14, 2012 (edited) cavalier maybe by not contacting him im giving free space to the new girl to make him love her and forget about me !i dont want to forget me:( pls understand Hey I understand your pain. Ive recently been thru hell and back over my breakup. The thing is that unfortunatly there is NOTHING you can do make him miss you. If you truly want to go ahead and text him or even call him. You will find out what you already know. It is OVER. Worst case scenario he will be nice you get you hopes up (or even hookup) and then you are here again even more devastated than before. Best case scenario he will be a total a-hole and you will regret calling. Some of us need to try these thing to understand it is over. If he really loved you he would be with you now. Im not saying he didnt love you. He did. But he left. If he wanted to really talk or see you and reconcile he would show up at your house or work. So dont worry that not answering is pushing him away. It isnt. He already left. Plus he is with another girl already.You dont want him back. Believe me. I know this is soooo soooo hard to accept. But HOPE for him coming back is the worst. It will keep you down. It will mess with you brain. I will f-in drive you insane. The sooner you stop HOPING for him to reconsider the sooner you can truly recover. The only hope you need to is for yourself! And complete indifference for him. It gets better promise. Edited December 14, 2012 by cavalier99 Link to post Share on other sites
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