Watching what you say

[ooglesnboogles]

Hey all,

 

I've noticed in conversations lately, I've been a lot looser with my word choice. As one of my professors might say, "swearin like a sailor!" Now, I used to have very good filters for swearing since I was terrified to be caught swearing by my parents, but as I've gotten older they care very little about whether or not I swear and it seems that's lowered my guard elsewhere.

 

I'm not "swearin like a sailor" in class or interviews or professional places, but I have found I'm a bit looser with my friends. Normally not a problem but when I get stressed or tired it's like watching The Big Lebowski. I don't know if anyone I've met recently has cared too, but I feel like it lowers the classiness of the conversation and I'm trying not to sound like I have no vocabulary. And, I'm always afraid that it'll be off-putting to any prospective girls out there who see/hear that as their first impression.

 

Does anyone have any tips for bringing the walls back up a bit? And no, I'm not going to put out a swear jar. I don't usually have cash anyway

 

Thanks!

[TaraMaiden]

Well, you managed that whole post without any asterisks, so just transfer that care to the oral.

Really, it's up to you to engage brain.

Pretend your mom's listening......

[FitChick]

You can try substituting other words and phrases. My mother used to say, "Fiddlesticks!" At least you'd get a laugh out of anyone overhearing you.

 

I say "bloody" or "bloody hell" because I am an Anglophile. More acceptable in the US than the F word.

[ooglesnboogles]

Tara: The problem is I can be a very good writer when I'm thinking about it. And it feels weird to type swear words, dunno why. I pay much less attention when speaking, even if I'm putting thought behind the words.

 

Thanks for the suggestions FitChick. Actually, I do that when I'm paying enough attention. I seem to have developed a very good filter for driving with the windows open, as I wouldn't want to yell something objectionable in front of a police officer, a group of kids, or both (yikes!). So quite a few stupid drivers get called 'buggers' instead of the word that sorta sounds like it.

[TaraMaiden]

Tara: The problem is I can be a very good writer when I'm thinking about it. And it feels weird to type swear words, dunno why. I pay much less attention when speaking, even if I'm putting thought behind the words.

 

Then pay more attention.

I really don't know what you're asking here.

The only one with access to your mind-set and triggers, is you.

You just have to engage brain before operating mouth.

 

Or get your pals to kick you smartly in the shins every time you utter a profanity. It's amazing how well a bruised shin works as a deterrent...

[Illusionist]

Well, you can make small pauses, to get your words mentally sorted, before you speak. However, don't make them too long or it may seem funny... never longer than a breath would take. At least that is what I learned for presentation, but I never use it. Still, just wanted to mention it, it may help you to sort it out.

 

As for the language itself, I got the experience, that your way of thinking and speaking is strongly influenced by your environment. Not just long term, but short term as well.

When I went to the USA to visit a friend of mine, she kinda made something like a "Boondocks Marathon" with me. (Not to mention how afraid Germans are about racism, but I never heard so much slang words and the "n-word" in such a short time.) When I came back, I realized that my language had changed a bit... it only was for a couple of days and only in a few moments, but I really was surprised how hard an impact an environment change can make.

 

So maybe, you should get yourself some audiobooks of literature classics and watch some very old movies, and I think your language could change a bit if you get enough influenced by it.

Well, not a great idea, but at least it can be a plan B.