aed Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 We went for out first counseling session together today. (still with my current counselor at this stage). It was a very emotional session for me. Listening to him speak I realized the impact of what I have done to him. I don't know whether I will ever be able to make it up to him. The counselor asked why he has stayed and he spoke for a long time about his feelings for me and why I was special. It was very hard to listen to knowing that while he was feeling that way I was thinking of no-one but myself. I could never do that to anyone again. I have ceased contact with all of my acquaintances and told my remaining girlfriends that I will no longer be going out with them alone. They are fully supportive of what I am doing and have vowed to take it down a notch themselves. I don't know whether that will happen but they are not my focus. My ex best friend has been basically kicked from our little group for what she did so hopefully she has a good life and I never see her again. I can feel inside that I am changing, I actually feel better about myself although thinking of the past is starting to haunt me, I treated a lot of people very bad, especially myself. I can't thank my (boy)friend enough for sticky by me, wherever this leads. This is a work in progress but I feel I am moving forward. Thanks for listening. Your bf will be damaged for a long time and it will take allot of counseling for him to get over this. WHat I read in this situation is that he is mostly there for you. He will need to recover for himself. But you are still friends with the other girls who supported your lifestyle and coverd up your betrayal towards your bf? Must be great for him to see and hang out with those girls. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SupaSexySally Posted January 16, 2013 Author Share Posted January 16, 2013 I am strong. I love, and I deserve to be loved, real love. I am in control of who I want to be. The past is dead, a bright future beckons. I feel so good about myself, about the new me, about who I am and what I stand for. Nothing can stand in my way! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aed Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I am happy for you sally, you feel better and thinks are going better. But don't think you are where you need to be, because you havent slipt back in your 'old' behavour for 2 months. Please be aware that this is a side of you that can pop up, when you least expect it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I am strong. I love, and I deserve to be loved, real love. No offense, but you have to earn something to be deserved. You will deserve love when you learn to not disrespect your significant others love and commitment. Once you can do that, THEN you will have deserved it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SupaSexySally Posted January 28, 2013 Author Share Posted January 28, 2013 I have a boyfriend again !!!! We have made such great progress and he has asked me to be his girlfriend again. We made love for the first time last night. I don't mean the first time since we have been back together I mean the first time ever. The first time I have made love to anyone, ever. I now realise the difference between making love and having sex. I feel so attached to him now, so protective of him, so in love with him. I don't now why I couldn't find these feelings earlier. My whole life has changed for the better. I no longer see my old friends, I have new, better, more supportive friends. I quit my job and found a new one that I love so I see none of my old acquaintances any more. I am so sorry to all those I hurt while I was slutting around. Not just my boyfriend but other relationships where I was the other woman. I can't change the past, but SupaSexySally is dead and Teagan (my real name) is here and taking control of her life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 Good for you and I wish you well. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 Why do I get the feeling this is all one big joke? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 (edited) SupaSexySally, I am your age. Perhaps you should find a man whod be interested in an open relationship. That way you could get a boyfriend but some sexual variety too. There are plenty of men whod be open to an open relationship (I feel most men, if they had the options, would participate in one) That would fit your needs I agree I think this thread is a joke Edited January 29, 2013 by pbjbear Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 Congrats on taking control of your life!!! That is a true accomplishment to be proud of. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 Congrats on taking control of your life!!! That is a true accomplishment to be proud of. Well take a look at her recent posts of giddy declaration. Seems she is completely ignoring what people are saying and responding with high school sophomoric glee. I don't think she is taking control of anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 Well take a look at her recent posts of giddy declaration. Seems she is completely ignoring what people are saying and responding with high school sophomoric glee. I don't think she is taking control of anything. she's come this far. she can do it. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 she's come this far. she can do it. She refuses to answer the question if she is ready to give up the lifestyle that is more conducive to cheating. So I'm going to have to assume she has no intentions of changing. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 She refuses to answer the question if she is ready to give up the lifestyle that is more conducive to cheating. So I'm going to have to assume she has no intentions of changing. She's already answered it multiple times, even stated she has new friends and a new job. I hate this about LS, people flame but lack basic reading comprehension skills. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SupaSexySally Posted January 30, 2013 Author Share Posted January 30, 2013 She's already answered it multiple times, even stated she has new friends and a new job. Thanks for the backup. Seems she is completely ignoring what people are saying Just because I am not responding specifically to individual posters here does not mean I am ignoring what has been said. But I see no reason to answer questions that have already been answered when they come from people that have a negative attitude toward me. I have a positive outlook now and have positive people around me. The negativity and the negative people no longer have any influence over me, either here or in my life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 But my brain doesn't work or something. I go to a club and its like my brain turns off and I just do what feels good at the time. The next thing I know I have cheated. I don't even know if the sex was good, I don't even care, I just feel guilty about cheating again but I just can't stop. And I do it again and again because I am an idiot. I am destroying all that is good in my life. This says it all. Your brain doesn't work and yes, you are an idiot. That is why I think this post is a joke, nobody's this stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 She's already answered it multiple times, even stated she has new friends and a new job. She stated she was going to refrain from partying? Where? I hate this about LS, people flame but lack basic reading comprehension skills. Be careful with your insults. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 She stated she was going to refrain from partying? Where? Here. I have ceased contact with all of my acquaintances and told my remaining girlfriends that I will no longer be going out with them alone. They are fully supportive of what I am doing and have vowed to take it down a notch themselves. I don't know whether that will happen but they are not my focus. My ex best friend has been basically kicked from our little group for what she did so hopefully she has a good life and I never see her again. And here. My whole life has changed for the better. I no longer see my old friends, I have new, better, more supportive friends. I quit my job and found a new one that I love so I see none of my old acquaintances any more. Be careful with your insults. You're right, thanks for calling me out. I'm just frustrated because I've had important (to me) threads derailed by people misreading, not reading, or arguing with me over inaccurate details, all because they misinterpreted what I posted and repeated 4 or 5 times. I'm not even talking about me being unclear - I'm talking about me being perfectly clear but people misunderstanding so that they can argue and flame. Emotions on LS run very high and a lot of people are so quick to respond that they don't completely read and understand correctly because they're in such a hurry to lash out for their own reasons. It's a shame really... I think some of the people who are still flaming Sally either haven't read the thread completely, or haven't registered what she stated in two posts. Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Thanks for the backup. Just because I am not responding specifically to individual posters here does not mean I am ignoring what has been said. But I see no reason to answer questions that have already been answered when they come from people that have a negative attitude toward me. I have a positive outlook now and have positive people around me. The negativity and the negative people no longer have any influence over me, either here or in my life. I believe that you are being truthful regarding your new outlook on life and good intentions regarding any future cheating. I think the reason some posters are being negative toward you is that there is an old adage that "the road to hell is paved with good intentions". This means that to stay on the new path you've chosen may take more than your "good intentions". You might need to work (or keep working) with a counselor along with being completely honest and open with your partner. Just be aware that the temptation to go back to our old ways will be strong from time to time and you might need some outside help to resist the urge. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
coffeebean201 Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 Have you thought about joining a daily meeting group to help deal with this long term? I had a really good friend who was involved with AA and they have support networks amongst themselves. And she was really fussy about what problems she allowed into her life. in other words, she carved out a new space in her life for AA and didn't allow others to trample that footprint. Some people will understand and others won't. And that is ok. How are things going? Link to post Share on other sites
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