Men that try too hard to impress....

[GirlontheLam]

Sometimes I wonder if I am being a little picky. But I almost unilaterally reject any man I feel is trying too hard.

 

Here are a couple of examples in recent months:

1. Older guy (probably 10 years more than me) not of my ethnicity: Anyway he tried to chat me up at a coffeeshop or something when I was reading a book. He lead with his name, the fact he has dated many other black women. And of course, that he was sooooo important and high level at his job, he could blow off his conference call by putting himself on mute and talk to me! I politely declined his offer for dinner due to some combination of bringing up the exes and bragging about his job title.

 

2. Slightly younger guy, about my age: went on a intro coffee date with a guy who spent almost the entire time telling me about how since he was salaried and really efficient at his job, he always leaves work after a couple of hours to work on his side "successful" businesses. Then followed that with talk about his car and nice apartment. Unfortunately for him, he didn't have much more to say. Rejected the invite for another date.

 

3. Aggressive younger guy: met this one somewhere last year, and rejected him then. Ran into him again, and he tried the same game. This one bragged about his "good job" and ability (and offer) to take me out for dinner and drinks on his dime. He continued with offers to drive me around where ever I wanted to go (um I have a car, and actually like transit). And continued to tell me about how I matched up perfectly with his ideal profile for a girlfriend. Between this time and the last, the list got a little longer of attributes and included physical ones as well. This last encounter followed with a request for me to accompany him to his company holiday party as his date. For me, this makes him seem pretty insecure.**

 

**I bet his lines work on younger girls. He initially assumed I was younger than him. But I am 5 years older.

 

I've always been known for my innate self-confidence (and optimism) in most situations. So talking myself up to impress is a foreign concept to me.

 

Everyone else, how about you? What do you do with these types? Do you chalk it up to nervousness or blame it on a fault?

[bobsmith76]

I think you're being too picky. It's very hard to find true love, or get to homeplate as they say. You're not even willing to get to first base with a guy, what makes you think you can get a homerun? By being this picky you're just harming yourself. What really matters is, is he going to be faithful and stand by you until the end. You can't determine this until you've spent a lot of quality time with them and you haven't done that.

[ascendotum]

I don't think the nature of the bragger guys comes from nervousness, but more one of self importance or putting on a front of importance. You don't buy into it and many other women are like you, but many women do get impressed and do want a more successful guy The bragging is a quick way of presenting themselves as a good catch. They may be shallow or boring & unadventurous and their self worth is wrapped up in their career title and car marque and they think that's their trump card in the dating stakes...or maybe they are are decent hard working guys with ambition but also status conscious. If the guy tries hard to impress with bragging he can come off as a bit of a wanker and I would call it a fault and it would kill his chances with some women but there any plenty of women that would be impressed. In today's world the poseur/self promoter tends to gets more than the quite achiever.

 

 

Lucky salary guy..who can leave work after just a couple of hours.

[wheream_i]

I think you're being too picky. It's very hard to find true love, or get to homeplate as they say. You're not even willing to get to first base with a guy, what makes you think you can get a homerun? By being this picky you're just harming yourself.

 

Lol, what?! Why would she want to even get to first base with one of these douches if she doesn't like them from the get-go? Did you read her post?

 

Girlonthelam (dig the name), I don't know what it is with the types of guys that approach you in that the first thing they want to do is brag about their job. Who gives a rip? Why wouldn't they just sit back and let that conversation unfold itself? It's bound to happen, right? I mean, employment is pretty important in "the getting to know you phase".

[GirlontheLam]

I think you're being too picky. It's very hard to find true love, or get to homeplate as they say. You're not even willing to get to first base with a guy, what makes you think you can get a homerun? By being this picky you're just harming yourself. What really matters is, is he going to be faithful and stand by you until the end. You can't determine this until you've spent a lot of quality time with them and you haven't done that.

 

Well let's just say, a guy that brags about his job has a whole lot of work to do to get to first base. Compared with the one where conversation is more of a two way street of interest and admiration.

 

I know, as Americans, a lot of our identity is sort of wrapped up in our jobs and status, but that is pretty low on my list for a potential partner. Looking for more substance than that.

 

I have one close friend who is very caught up in status, and I didn't learn this about her until after a few meetings. We had already bonded and become friends.

 

Leading in with the status and job with self-importance wrapped in is very difficult for me to overcome!

[Lonely Ronin]

Everyone else, how about you? What do you do with these types? Do you chalk it up to nervousness or blame it on a fault?

 

One word defines these guys, arrogant.

[Toddbt12y1]

I'm driving a Mclaren F1 baby, and have a solid golden statue made of me -- will you be mine? Ah-- don't speak. We already know it's a yes, who could deny?

 

 

P.s. I am Mister arrogant. I rock. I step on all you lesser beings.

[GirlontheLam]

I'm driving a Mclaren F1 baby, and have a solid golden statue made of me -- will you be mine? Ah-- don't speak. We already know it's a yes, who could deny?

 

 

P.s. I am Mister arrogant. I rock. I step on all you lesser beings.

 

Sign me up!

[NYC-BigKat]

Sometimes I wonder if I am being a little picky. But I almost unilaterally reject any man I feel is trying too hard.

 

Here are a couple of examples in recent months:

1. Older guy (probably 10 years more than me) not of my ethnicity: Anyway he tried to chat me up at a coffeeshop or something when I was reading a book. He lead with his name, the fact he has dated many other black women. And of course, that he was sooooo important and high level at his job, he could blow off his conference call by putting himself on mute and talk to me! I politely declined his offer for dinner due to some combination of bringing up the exes and bragging about his job title.

 

2. Slightly younger guy, about my age: went on a intro coffee date with a guy who spent almost the entire time telling me about how since he was salaried and really efficient at his job, he always leaves work after a couple of hours to work on his side "successful" businesses. Then followed that with talk about his car and nice apartment. Unfortunately for him, he didn't have much more to say. Rejected the invite for another date.

 

3. Aggressive younger guy: met this one somewhere last year, and rejected him then. Ran into him again, and he tried the same game. This one bragged about his "good job" and ability (and offer) to take me out for dinner and drinks on his dime. He continued with offers to drive me around where ever I wanted to go (um I have a car, and actually like transit). And continued to tell me about how I matched up perfectly with his ideal profile for a girlfriend. Between this time and the last, the list got a little longer of attributes and included physical ones as well. This last encounter followed with a request for me to accompany him to his company holiday party as his date. For me, this makes him seem pretty insecure.**

 

**I bet his lines work on younger girls. He initially assumed I was younger than him. But I am 5 years older.

 

I've always been known for my innate self-confidence (and optimism) in most situations. So talking myself up to impress is a foreign concept to me.

 

Everyone else, how about you? What do you do with these types? Do you chalk it up to nervousness or blame it on a fault?

 

When I keep reading stuff like this from girls I get more depressed 'cause I think women just dont like men all that much & the ones my uncle gets are only into him 'cause he dont say nothing to them so they do more work to get him to like them. Girls really dont like guys that try at all .

[Toddbt12y1]

Ofc. Now when we make love don't worry it's going to be amazing. You can thank me for the awesomeness of my sex-skill.

 

LOL I hate arrogant ppl though.

[Lonely Ronin]

When I keep reading stuff like this from girls I get more depressed 'cause I think women just dont like men all that much & the ones my uncle gets are only into him 'cause he dont say nothing to them so they do more work to get him to like them. Girls really dont like guys that try at all .

 

trying is not the same thing as being an obnoxious bragger.

[NoMoreJerks]

OP, I have had guys who have done both extremes -- tried too hard to impress, or tried too hard to compliment me and put themselves down. I hate BOTH extremes equally, and almost immediately turn down both. Neither shows sufficient confidence. Don't get me wrong, I don't like cocky types either (self-confident types, not types that are so clearly DESPERATE to impress ) -- everything in moderation is good, and is not a turnoff for me. Anything too extreme will chase me away.

Edited December 9, 2012 by NoMoreJerks

[GirlontheLam]

When I keep reading stuff like this from girls I get more depressed 'cause I think women just dont like men all that much & the ones my uncle gets are only into him 'cause he dont say nothing to them so they do more work to get him to like them. Girls really dont like guys that try at all .

 

Trying = having a conversation with the assumption I am an equal of sorts

Annoying = having a conversation with a goal of proving you are the prize or I am the prize.