WTH was wrong w/ me?

[StillHurtin]

I still don't understand why this happened. What was she thinking? What was I thinking? Why did I let dh talk to her? I must of not been too much of a threat to the OW even though I yelled at her and told her to stay the F away from my dh.

 

Not even a month had passed since dh broke it off w/ the OW and we were back 2gether. She had called him twice (that I know of) since he broke it off. Dh was her supervisor and they weren't getting a long at work (I have the copies of their converstation via IM'ing") She called him many names, said he was just another pr!ck of her past, ect. Anyhow, she called him the first time I went to go see him w/ the kids. She called and asked him if he was upset w/ her about work related items. No excuse to call him IMHO.

 

The next call came a few weeks later. We were at our house (which he was living still, we were still seperated).

He picked up the phone and noticed her number on the caller ID. He looked at me and said "WTH is she calling?" I took the phone from him and answered. Too pi$$ed and shaking up to really let her have it. WTH was wrong w/ me?

 

Her: "J (me)? Did A (dh) hear about the horse accident R (co-worker) was in?"

Me: No, here, you can talk to him about it. (WTH did I give him the phone to talk to her??!?!)

He is talking to her while I am shaking like crazy and listening. All I hear is him saying "oh really. Hmmm" was about all he said. He hangs up.

 

I grab the phone and dial her number.

ME: " T (her) you need to stop calling here!"

Her: " But J, she may die!!!" (she starts crying).

Me: "I feel badly for her, and I hope she is ok, but you didn't need to call here and tell him. He would of found out about it at work. It is just an excuse to call him. You better stop calling here or there will be he!! to pay." ( I didn't mean that I was going to beat the crap out of her, dh was going to slap a restrainer order on her.)

Her: " I am not scared of you J.'

Me: " I am not scared of you either T."

Her: "I don't know why you are so upset. (or something in that order). He was the one who was after me first."

Me: "That is bulls***, you were after him since day one and you know it!"

Her: (silence).

Me: "I have nothing more to say to you T." and hung up.

 

WTH did I answer the phone and then let her talk to dh? WTH didn't I just tell dh to tell her to stop calling?

Why did I talk to her? I guess I will never know. I know I wasn't thinking straight. It just amuses me that she was so stupid to call him and when I answered she talked to me like nothing ever happened. That she was just a friend calling.

I am sorry I am posting so much and bitching. I just found this board. I haven't had anyone to talk to that knows what I am going through. I just need some unanswered ?

[Mr Spock]

No, don't be sorry for posting

 

You are obessing though, about this. I do believe it's all part of the normal healing process, but don't let it consume you!! If you find you can't get past this particular point, you really should ask someone qualified on how to help you. Have you checked out the marriage builders website?

[StillHurtin]

I know, I am obessing w/ it. How can I stop? I have already went to counseling but it must of not of worked well enough. I wonder if I go back on my anti-depressants if that would help. I don't know, I guess I just need to know why. I know no one maybe able to answer these ?. I know that I have never really talked to anyone about this. It always slips my mind when I talk to the marriage counselor. But then again I don't know if I quit going there anymore b/c I lost my insurance and couldn't afford it.

 

 

I have skimmed through MB but didn't really look long enough to find anything that could help me. I really appreciate you answering mine post.

 

I will go check out MB. Thanks!