Is she stringing me along...Another OM MW story

[LostSoulTrain]

Its been five weeks since I last time talked to her or saw her. During that time I stayed busy and life is moving on slowly but surely. I still think of her but I am confident more than ever that I will not go back to the way things were before.

 

Anyway, today I had to stop by her office to see colleagues who sits opposite to her and works with me on this project at the moment. When I entered room her face turned into huge smile which came as shock to me. I just said hi to everyone and started making jokes with other colleagues without even looking at her.

 

She kept staring at me continuously and then offered me some cookie. I declined saying 'thanks but I'm full'. After this she boved head and kept staring into first page of some book but listening to everything I said.

 

Half an hour later an email comes from her. She offers help over something that I work on. This has nothing to do with her and it would be extra job for her. I dont know what is best move here. If I ignore it I would look angry and hurt and I dont want that. I was thinking sending just one line, something like 'tnx but this has already been taken care of'. If she sends anything after that I would ignore it. It is clear to me that she wants to bring me back in affair so I want her to think she lost me and I am indifferent. What is better option of these two?

[whichwayisup]

Half an hour later an email comes from her. She offers help over something that I work on. This has nothing to do with her and it would be extra job for her. I dont know what is best move here. If I ignore it I would look angry and hurt and I dont want that. I was thinking sending just one line, something like 'tnx but this has already been taken care of'. If she sends anything after that I would ignore it. It is clear to me that she wants to bring me back in affair so I want her to think she lost me and I am indifferent. What is better option of these two?

 

She is fishing and using this as an opportunity. This isn't about you, it's all about her.

 

Do that. Email her and say thanks for your offer but it isn't necessary, so no thanks. Take care.

 

And leave it at that. if she emails again, then just ignore her.

 

You've handled everything really well, so kudos to you!

[Cali408]

Don't answer it. Hit the delete button. You've come a long way, she's trying to get you back into her web. A no answer is the same as no. Please, for your sake delete it from your trash so you don't obsessively stare at it.

[RickFox]

she is the ultimate cake eater.

 

She loves you as the man that can supply admiration, attention, adoration, and plenty more of external validation. She loves you within the realm of an emr. Perhaps it helps to know she loves you and craves your attention, but this is all within the affair bubble.

 

Outside the affair bubble this love generally does not work well, but she still misses the buzz. Remember that this is very addictive. She also loves her husband, but he does not give her the same type of attention she craves.

 

I hope you are strong and that you do not fall back in her hands. She will make you pay for that. She is no good for you! She is no good for her h either.

 

qft!!!!!!!!!

Edited January 29, 2013 by RickFox

[LostSoulTrain]

In the end I decided to reply. I just wrote "tnx, it has been taken care of". If she tries to approach with something else I will ignore. But like I said, I think it is better to leave impression of being indifferent and distant than to look like angry and hurt.

[RickFox]

Being indifferent means not caring one way or the other, you're not there yet, you know it, she knows it. You responding,regardless, shows her that

[LostSoulTrain]

They play the same game over and over . . . and over.

 

He breaks up with her.

 

She gives herself a little break from his pressure and then reels him back in with promises of leaving the husband.

 

He thinks she's for real this time.

 

She keeps stalling.

 

He breaks up with her.

 

Wash

Rinse

and Repeat

 

Except for the fact that this time I am not buying anymore of promises. The only way I would talk to her would be if she shows up bringing divorce paper and tells me she's moved out of their home. For everything else it is too late.

[Realist3]

Being indifferent means not caring one way or the other, you're not there yet, you know it, she knows it. You responding,regardless, shows her that

 

 

True that.

 

If he was indifferent he wouldn't be thinking about it , much less posting about it on a message board.

[whichwayisup]

In the end I decided to reply. I just wrote "tnx, it has been taken care of". If she tries to approach with something else I will ignore. But like I said, I think it is better to leave impression of being indifferent and distant than to look like angry and hurt.

 

I think you did the right thing. You're being mature and not ignoring her professional request (even though you knew it was more than that, a hidden reason for it all for her self serving reasons), replying and saying what you did lets her know the answer to her question. Short and to the point, non personal and blunt.

 

Yes, ignore any other contact from now on. She will get the hint.

[RickFox]

Yeah I remember thinking I could make xmw miss me by somehow getting in her line of sight or walking by her.... didn't work like I thought, and if it did, she sure as hell didn't show it...

 

You can't act "indifferent" if you aren't indifferent... You can only remove yourself from the situation for as long as it takes until you reach that point where it no longer matters and you aren't thinking of ways to make her jealous or miss you.... I do agree with Alice, you'll eventually cave....I can tell you for the first 6 + months, no matter what I said after dday, I'd have jumped right back into xmw's arms if she came a callin'.... Fortunately for me, she came a callin' a bit too late... and all it did was piss me off.