How can I win his love and trust again?

[Hoping for a Miracle]

Help me! I don't know if I can ever forgive myself, for I have foolishly let the love of my life get away from me. I am truly in love with my best friend and roommate. We have known each other almost 4 years now, and dated for a while in the beginning. We moved in together a little over a year ago as roommates...I was afraid of losing my independence and wanted to be just roommates at the time. Although I really had feelings for him in the beginning I subconsciously pushed him away by not acknowledging his love and returning it, so our relationship never really grew. Bottom line is I have never been good at relationships because I grew up in a dysfunctional family and have had a lifetime of bad relationships.

 

I guess I was scared of my feelings, and instead of acknowledging them and dealing with my fears, I denied my feelings. It was only when he started seriously seeing someone else earlier last year that I realized I love him. I admitted my true feelings to him back in August after he made a few passes at me, and it took me 4 months to get up the courage to do that. Since then,I have tried to convince him to give me a second chance and to let him know without being overbearing how much he means to me. He says that he is confused and can not make any promises about the future. He recently admitted that he was really in love with me for a long time (although he never told me), but because I pushed him away, he found someone else to fill the void in his life.

 

However, he still admits having feelings for me, although not necessarily love and he is still physically attracted to me. He pretty much chased me for over 2 years, and I was too stupid to see what a wonderful person he is. I broke his trust and I would give anything to get it back!

 

I have been trying to convince him for several months now that I have changed for the better. I am not the selfish, cold hearted person I once appeared to be and I am no longer scared of commitment.

 

I have done a lot of soul searching and realize now the things that are truly important in life. I have apologized profusely, sometimes to the point of overdoing it. When I first admitted my feelings to him, it seemed like there was some hope for us. We spent more quality time together, but unfortunately I gave in to using guilt and being impatient by trying to get an answer from him right away. I couldn't help it because it hurt to be with him and then see him spend a lot of time with his new love when I thought he was giving me another chance. When I first admitted my feelings he said of course he would give me another chance, and he made several statements that eluded to us having a future together. He also told me that he wasn't in love with the other girl, but not too long after I told him I loved him, he began being more distant. I went into a deep depression for several months and had to back off, for my own sanity if nothing else. Plus, he was telling me to back off. He said he believes that I do love him but says that he is still having problems trusting me and is not convinced that I have changed. I can understand his leariness to trust me. I want to be patient without being

 

overbearing, but at the same time I want to show him that I love him and that he can trust me and that I would do anything for him. I want to show him how sorry I am for hurting him in the past and that if I ever earn his love and trust again, I will treasure and nourish it forever. I have told him all of these things over and over, so he knows how I feel. However, he admits that he has strong feelings for this other girl and does not want to hurt her because she has always been there for him.

 

Of course I am in a vulnerable position. I cannot demand that he stop seeing her, and besides he doesn't want to. I am afraid of being used, but I am also afraid to not keep trying to win his love back. I want to believe that there is hope for us and I keep praying to God that he will trust me again.

 

Like I said, he's not making any promises, but he's not totally pushing me away either. I am SO mad at myself for hurting him in the past and not seeing what I had...what a wonderful person he really is...I was so used to a lifetime of bad relationships that I couldn't see how good he was for me, and my insecurities made it hard for me to return love. Some of my friends and family

 

tell me to forget about him but I can't...I have tried for 3 months now. Although my unrequited love often hurts, I do not want to give up. I want to spend as much time with him as possible without demanding it, but it is hard because he often seems distant.

 

Sorry for being so long winded, but how can I earn his trust and love again without being pushy and overbearing? I know it will not be easy. Is there any hope in this kind of situation? God says that all things are possible through him, so I am trying to be patient and believe that God will let him trust me again and forgive the past. We will be roommates until at least August because we are binded by a lease together.

[kiey]

I understand how you feel. However I think you should take your time with this guy. He obviously likes the closeness of your "relationship" but he isn't quite ready for a commitment. If you really feel as if the relationship you want is worth the wait, well then, just wait for that special day. I would get on with my life and maybe a bit of jealousy will spark up in him and make him commit to you. It is true: You never miss anything until it's gone. FYI: try not to make such a lengthy submission.

Help me! I don't know if I can ever forgive myself, for I have foolishly let the love of my life get away from me. I am truly in love with my best friend and roommate. We have known each other almost 4 years now, and dated for a while in the beginning. We moved in together a little over a year ago as roommates...I was afraid of losing my independence and wanted to be just roommates at the time. Although I really had feelings for him in the beginning I subconsciously pushed him away by not acknowledging his love and returning it, so our relationship never really grew. Bottom line is I have never been good at relationships because I grew up in a dysfunctional family and have had a lifetime of bad relationships. I guess I was scared of my feelings, and instead of acknowledging them and dealing with my fears, I denied my feelings. It was only when he started seriously seeing someone else earlier last year that I realized I love him. I admitted my true feelings to him back in August after he made a few passes at me, and it took me 4 months to get up the courage to do that. Since then,I have tried to convince him to give me a second chance and to let him know without being overbearing how much he means to me. He says that he is confused and can not make any promises about the future. He recently admitted that he was really in love with me for a long time (although he never told me), but because I pushed him away, he found someone else to fill the void in his life. However, he still admits having feelings for me, although not necessarily love and he is still physically attracted to me. He pretty much chased me for over 2 years, and I was too stupid to see what a wonderful person he is. I broke his trust and I would give anything to get it back! I have been trying to convince him for several months now that I have changed for the better. I am not the selfish, cold hearted person I once appeared to be and I am no longer scared of commitment.

 

I have done a lot of soul searching and realize now the things that are truly important in life. I have apologized profusely, sometimes to the point of overdoing it. When I first admitted my feelings to him, it seemed like there was some hope for us. We spent more quality time together, but unfortunately I gave in to using guilt and being impatient by trying to get an answer from him right away. I couldn't help it because it hurt to be with him and then see him spend a lot of time with his new love when I thought he was giving me another chance. When I first admitted my feelings he said of course he would give me another chance, and he made several statements that eluded to us having a future together. He also told me that he wasn't in love with the other girl, but not too long after I told him I loved him, he began being more distant. I went into a deep depression for several months and had to back off, for my own sanity if nothing else. Plus, he was telling me to back off. He said he believes that I do love him but says that he is still having problems trusting me and is not convinced that I have changed. I can understand his leariness to trust me. I want to be patient without being overbearing, but at the same time I want to show him that I love him and that he can trust me and that I would do anything for him. I want to show him how sorry I am for hurting him in the past and that if I ever earn his love and trust again, I will treasure and nourish it forever. I have told him all of these things over and over, so he knows how I feel. However, he admits that he has strong feelings for this other girl and does not want to hurt her because she has always been there for him. Of course I am in a vulnerable position. I cannot demand that he stop seeing her, and besides he doesn't want to. I am afraid of being used, but I am also afraid to not keep trying to win his love back. I want to believe that there is hope for us and I keep praying to God that he will trust me again.

 

Like I said, he's not making any promises, but he's not totally pushing me away either. I am SO mad at myself for hurting him in the past and not seeing what I had...what a wonderful person he really is...I was so used to a lifetime of bad relationships that I couldn't see how good he was for me, and my insecurities made it hard for me to return love. Some of my friends and family tell me to forget about him but I can't...I have tried for 3 months now. Although my unrequited love often hurts, I do not want to give up. I want to spend as much time with him as possible without demanding it, but it is hard because he often seems distant.

 

Sorry for being so long winded, but how can I earn his trust and love again without being pushy and overbearing? I know it will not be easy. Is there any hope in this kind of situation? God says that all things are possible through him, so I am trying to be patient and believe that God will let him trust me again and forgive the past. We will be roommates until at least August because we are binded by a lease together.

[the lorax]

I think you should try to be there as a friend for him right now. From what is sounds like, he knows how you feel and that you are there for him. I would avoid being overly pushy or obsessive about your feelings.. (this was the mistake I made with someone and it scared them away.) Hopefully, maybe if you just be yourself, and be a friend- the person he had feelings for before- than he'll be interested again and you can take it from there and start all over again. Right now, give it time and show him subtley through your friendship that you are better for him than any other girl out there.

Help me! I don't know if I can ever forgive myself, for I have foolishly let the love of my life get away from me. I am truly in love with my best friend and roommate. We have known each other almost 4 years now, and dated for a while in the beginning. We moved in together a little over a year ago as roommates...I was afraid of losing my independence and wanted to be just roommates at the time. Although I really had feelings for him in the beginning I subconsciously pushed him away by not acknowledging his love and returning it, so our relationship never really grew. Bottom line is I have never been good at relationships because I grew up in a dysfunctional family and have had a lifetime of bad relationships. I guess I was scared of my feelings, and instead of acknowledging them and dealing with my fears, I denied my feelings. It was only when he started seriously seeing someone else earlier last year that I realized I love him. I admitted my true feelings to him back in August after he made a few passes at me, and it took me 4 months to get up the courage to do that. Since then,I have tried to convince him to give me a second chance and to let him know without being overbearing how much he means to me. He says that he is confused and can not make any promises about the future. He recently admitted that he was really in love with me for a long time (although he never told me), but because I pushed him away, he found someone else to fill the void in his life. However, he still admits having feelings for me, although not necessarily love and he is still physically attracted to me. He pretty much chased me for over 2 years, and I was too stupid to see what a wonderful person he is. I broke his trust and I would give anything to get it back! I have been trying to convince him for several months now that I have changed for the better. I am not the selfish, cold hearted person I once appeared to be and I am no longer scared of commitment.

 

I have done a lot of soul searching and realize now the things that are truly important in life. I have apologized profusely, sometimes to the point of overdoing it. When I first admitted my feelings to him, it seemed like there was some hope for us. We spent more quality time together, but unfortunately I gave in to using guilt and being impatient by trying to get an answer from him right away. I couldn't help it because it hurt to be with him and then see him spend a lot of time with his new love when I thought he was giving me another chance. When I first admitted my feelings he said of course he would give me another chance, and he made several statements that eluded to us having a future together. He also told me that he wasn't in love with the other girl, but not too long after I told him I loved him, he began being more distant. I went into a deep depression for several months and had to back off, for my own sanity if nothing else. Plus, he was telling me to back off. He said he believes that I do love him but says that he is still having problems trusting me and is not convinced that I have changed. I can understand his leariness to trust me. I want to be patient without being overbearing, but at the same time I want to show him that I love him and that he can trust me and that I would do anything for him. I want to show him how sorry I am for hurting him in the past and that if I ever earn his love and trust again, I will treasure and nourish it forever. I have told him all of these things over and over, so he knows how I feel. However, he admits that he has strong feelings for this other girl and does not want to hurt her because she has always been there for him. Of course I am in a vulnerable position. I cannot demand that he stop seeing her, and besides he doesn't want to. I am afraid of being used, but I am also afraid to not keep trying to win his love back. I want to believe that there is hope for us and I keep praying to God that he will trust me again.

 

Like I said, he's not making any promises, but he's not totally pushing me away either. I am SO mad at myself for hurting him in the past and not seeing what I had...what a wonderful person he really is...I was so used to a lifetime of bad relationships that I couldn't see how good he was for me, and my insecurities made it hard for me to return love. Some of my friends and family tell me to forget about him but I can't...I have tried for 3 months now. Although my unrequited love often hurts, I do not want to give up. I want to spend as much time with him as possible without demanding it, but it is hard because he often seems distant.

 

Sorry for being so long winded, but how can I earn his trust and love again without being pushy and overbearing? I know it will not be easy. Is there any hope in this kind of situation? God says that all things are possible through him, so I am trying to be patient and believe that God will let him trust me again and forgive the past. We will be roommates until at least August because we are binded by a lease together.