lynngv Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 (edited) My 16 year old son Jay told me a secret last night,he likes to dress as the opposite gender and does this once in a while.I noticed my closet was raided 2 monthes ago,some of my clothes were out of place a little bit and he revealed it was him going in my closet trying my clothes on.I was a little shocked knew the word that describes him,he is a crossdresser.Jay says he has a female side of him,Jane that he likes to dress as.I still love him and pulling through this.He dresses at a female friend's place as Jane.I told him that I would love to meet Jane.I did my research what a crossdresser is during my lunch break,a straight male that likes get in touch with their female side.I know the only option,love him including being there for support.I love my son still knowing he is this way and his way of expressing himself.I meet Jane tommorrow night for the first time. Edited December 29, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed names 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 (edited) I think Jay is a very lucky boy, and that you did a pretty good job of raising him if he confided in you. Edited December 29, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator changed name 13 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lynngv Posted December 11, 2012 Author Share Posted December 11, 2012 (edited) He knows I am always there for him,I have raised him since I was 17 years old,I am now 33 turning 34 next month.I see him happy now and going to welcome Jane,his female side into my life. Edited December 29, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator changed name 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 I must admit as a parent I would be saddened to hear if my son shared the same tendencies. But also, as a parent, I think your unconditional love for your son is phenomenal. I admire you, and take inspiration in your acceptance if your child. May he always remember how good you were to him in these moments and return the same love to you in your time of need. Why would you be saddened? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 Why would you be saddened? Not to speak for AS, but one thing parents do, or at least I do, is to try to shield our kids from pain. Dealing with pain is part of life, but we still try to minimize it to the extent we can while at the same time allowing them to feel the consequences of their choices. If it was my son, I would love him with all of my heart, and I would fear for his heart, wondering what pain he may be in store for. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted December 11, 2012 Share Posted December 11, 2012 (edited) I love my son still knowing he is this way and his way of expressing himself.I meet Jenna tommorrow night for the first time. Of course you love him, I share the others' compassion for him because he probably won't make his own life easy for himself. Tell us how your meeting Jane went Edited December 29, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Author lynngv Posted December 18, 2012 Author Share Posted December 18, 2012 (edited) I have been knowing Jane lately and it went great when I met Jane for the first time on Wendsday.I see my son happy,I let him dress as Jane at home. Edited December 29, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 One of my DD22's high school boyfriends is now becoming a woman, legally and biologically. He seems much happier now. Link to post Share on other sites
LittlePrince Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 Why would you be saddened? Most parents don't have children for them to turn out abnormal. Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 lynnn...your kid needs help. Get him into counseling before he does something.... Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted December 28, 2012 Share Posted December 28, 2012 Like what? Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted December 28, 2012 Share Posted December 28, 2012 Who knows, but cross dressers are for the most part a psychological mess. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted December 28, 2012 Share Posted December 28, 2012 (edited) Who knows, but cross dressers are for the most part a psychological mess. Only because they're forced to live in a society and cultural in which "Normal" is defined in bi-polar terms / logic. Cross dressing is nothing more than diversity of the traditional norm. To which I would like someone to give me clear an definitive definition of what "Normal" in terms of modern day society and culture. The American Indians termed "transgendered" as "Two Spirited" and not welcomed such individuals? But considered it a blessing and honor bestowed upon the family. Its not really a big a deal except to others, who project their anxiety onto others. Edited December 28, 2012 by Gunny376 4 Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted December 28, 2012 Share Posted December 28, 2012 Only because they're forced to live in a society and cultural in which "Normal" is defined in bi-polar terms / logic. Cross dressing is nothing more than diversity of the traditional norm. To which I would like someone to give me clear an definitive definition of what "Normal" in terms of modern day society and culture. The American Indians termed "transgendered" as "Two Spirited" and not welcomed such individuals? But considered it a blessing and honor bestowed upon the family. Its not really a big a deal except to others, who project their anxiety onto others. Personally, I don't give a rats a** one way or the other of the reason, most are a mess. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted December 28, 2012 Share Posted December 28, 2012 Personally, I don't give a rats a** one way or the other of the reason, most are a mess. Pretty much the way I feel about most any and all people in general, Live and let live. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted December 28, 2012 Share Posted December 28, 2012 The only people who seem to have an issue nowadays are those over the age of 30 - or those kids of such people who feel compelled to repeat their parents' BS out loud. The younger ones don't even care. He's in good company. He'll be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted December 29, 2012 Share Posted December 29, 2012 The only people who seem to have an issue nowadays are those over the age of 30 - or those kids of such people who feel compelled to repeat their parents' BS out loud. The younger ones don't even care. He's in good company. He'll be fine. This is laughable. Your right, LGBT kids never kid treated any differently at school. They are just welcomed with open arms by everyone. I don't know what school you went to, but here in reality, kids are ruthless. If you don't wear the right boots, or keep you hair the right way, or....whatever, you get cast out from the herd. OP, get your kid some counseling..he is going to need it. All the other posters...as I said, I don't care why..I'm not making judgements...I'm just saying in today's society he is going to need counseling. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
silicone Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 OP, support your child. I'm speaking from experience. He may or may not need counselling. Love him, please, love him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Nyla Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 I'd be more concerned about bullying from other teens if the secret got out, rather than not being part of the herd. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 I'd be more concerned about bullying from other teens if the secret got out, rather than not being part of the herd. GLBT teens have about 35 % + attempted suicide rate, not to mention depression, anxiety, etc. As a parent I would be concerned with that than I would about the status quo. What about non-GLBT teens, who don't fit the All-American Football, cheerleader "norm" of the herd? What about my 2 year old Dear Granddaughter with a serious form of eplispy that a grown man got into her face in WalMart yelling and screeming that she was a "freak" or the other people that get PO'd because she's non-responsive, non-verbal? What about all my Marine Brothers coming back Afghanistain and Iraq missing legs, arms, ears, nose, severly burned, no faces that gave all they could and had so we may life securely in our bed and in America? What about Charles Wood of Dothan Alabama, who it literally hurt to look at, who lost his right arm, his ears, his nose, was severly scarred over 80% of his body because he got caught up in a fire of a burning B-17 during WWII. But went on to become a successful (Very successful) businessman, promimant politician, and father of I believe six children? I didn't just serve for the WASP, fair haired golden children, with the picture perfect smile and hair. I didn't do twenty years in the Marine Corps just for the select few of "the herd" I served for those that came before me ~some of which made the "ultimate scarifice" I didn't just serve for the Southern Baptist, but the Catholic, the Mormans, the Pentecostal, the Methodist, the Jehovah Witness, the athiest and the agnostic. I didn't volunteer just for the heterosexual, but for the bisexual, the homosexual, the pansexual, the asexual! I didn't serve just for the WASP, but for the ______________(Fill in the blank) American. The disabled, the ones that couldn't /can't defend themselves. Against bullies, and those who would take advantage of them ~ those that can't defend themselves! In America we've got laws that say you can do and be who and whatever you want ~ in so long as it doesn't violate our laws. If you want to dress up as a punk rocker? You can do that here! If you want to dress up Gothic, as a Cowboy/Girl? You can do that here! If want to dress up as whatever ~ you can do that here, and express yourself the way you want to ~ just so long as you dress in something when you go out in public, (And we've even got a few reserve places where even that's optional!) Hell even if you think your a Calvin Klien underware model, and want to walk around with your azz hanging out the back of your pants whle trying to hold them up without a belt? You can do that! Children need to know one thing and one thing only above all else? That they are loved, needed, wanted, and valued by their parents. "I seek the love and admiration of my friends and family! The rest of you can go to Hell!" John Wayne 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ZxExD Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 Thanks Gunny! Wow, just joined this site today and have read, learned, and took in how small we really are. I have a kind heart and try to help people all the time, but yet, I struggle through life because I am always doing for others instead of just myself. This thread started out pretty cool and was about a woman and her son. She was willing to open up and felt great. Do I understand? Not really, but I am not one to judge someone else and what they want to do with their own life or how they want to live it! I wish the best for both of you and proud of you! Life is to short to be miserable. Link to post Share on other sites
movingon12 Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 OP I think you're handling this brilliantly. Incidently, do you know the comedian Eddie Izzard? He's hilarious and also a cross-dresser, perhaps you and your son could sit and watch some of his videos together sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 I think it's great that he confided in you. He must really trust you. It's also great that you didn't betray that trust, but accepted him for who he is. GorillaTheatre speaks a lot of truth - society, especially teens/children, can be very cruel to those who are considered to be outside the norm. Even geeks, introverts, kids with acne problems can be picked on, not to mention crossdressers (who are more rare). I would advise him to be very careful about who he lets in on his secret. Link to post Share on other sites
Downtown Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 Cross dressers are for the most part a psychological mess.Standtall, you appear to be confusing "transvestites" with "transgender individuals" and "transexuals." Whereas the latter have to deal with sexual identity issues, the transvestites (i.e., cross dressers) do not. Significantly, the Merck Manual of Diagnosis & Therapy says "Cross-dressing per se is not a disorder because this behavior does not always cause distress or impairment. Personality profiles of cross-dressing men are generally similar to age- and race-matched norms." See Paraphilias: Sexuality and Sexual Disorders: Merck Manual Professional. You will find a similar statement on p. 324 of the book, Psychodynamic Psychiatry in Clinical Practice, Fourth Edition. See Psychodynamic Psychiatry In Clinical Practice - Glen O. Gabbard - Google Books. It reports that, in a study of 188 male transvestites (i.e., cross dressing men), the transvestites were found to be "indistinguishable from the average man on tests of sexual functioning, personality, and emotional distress." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 GLBT teens have about 35 % + attempted suicide rate, not to mention depression, anxiety, etc. As a parent I would be concerned with that than I would about the status quo. What about non-GLBT teens, who don't fit the All-American Football, cheerleader "norm" of the herd? What about my 2 year old Dear Granddaughter with a serious form of eplispy that a grown man got into her face in WalMart yelling and screeming that she was a "freak" or the other people that get PO'd because she's non-responsive, non-verbal? What about all my Marine Brothers coming back Afghanistain and Iraq missing legs, arms, ears, nose, severly burned, no faces that gave all they could and had so we may life securely in our bed and in America? What about Charles Wood of Dothan Alabama, who it literally hurt to look at, who lost his right arm, his ears, his nose, was severly scarred over 80% of his body because he got caught up in a fire of a burning B-17 during WWII. But went on to become a successful (Very successful) businessman, promimant politician, and father of I believe six children? I didn't just serve for the WASP, fair haired golden children, with the picture perfect smile and hair. I didn't do twenty years in the Marine Corps just for the select few of "the herd" I served for those that came before me ~some of which made the "ultimate scarifice" I didn't just serve for the Southern Baptist, but the Catholic, the Mormans, the Pentecostal, the Methodist, the Jehovah Witness, the athiest and the agnostic. I didn't volunteer just for the heterosexual, but for the bisexual, the homosexual, the pansexual, the asexual! I didn't serve just for the WASP, but for the ______________(Fill in the blank) American. The disabled, the ones that couldn't /can't defend themselves. Against bullies, and those who would take advantage of them ~ those that can't defend themselves! In America we've got laws that say you can do and be who and whatever you want ~ in so long as it doesn't violate our laws. If you want to dress up as a punk rocker? You can do that here! If you want to dress up Gothic, as a Cowboy/Girl? You can do that here! If want to dress up as whatever ~ you can do that here, and express yourself the way you want to ~ just so long as you dress in something when you go out in public, (And we've even got a few reserve places where even that's optional!) Hell even if you think your a Calvin Klien underware model, and want to walk around with your azz hanging out the back of your pants whle trying to hold them up without a belt? You can do that! Children need to know one thing and one thing only above all else? That they are loved, needed, wanted, and valued by their parents. :bunny::bunny::bunny: Gunny I could kiss you. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
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