Char12 Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 (edited) I had a long term relationship with a great guy and we split up amicably because of where we were in life.. it was hard on both of us. Recently he got back in touch saying we should catch up over a drink. I agreed, he was lovely as i remembered and bought me a bracelet. We started acting like we were in a relationship again straight away, including sex, but it was never labelled. I never felt it'd just be sex for him as i was the first person he loved and lost his virginity to so i thought there had to be some feelings there. I asked him where we stood and he said he liked me again and wanted to take it slow. I thought he meant we were dating. He then started to ignore texts off me, was always too busy for me and sound disinterested in talking to me online. When we met up he was a different person and said he was just busy lately etc. I clearly said that i didn't want it to be just about sex. Whenever it seemed like it was more casual to him i said i didn't want to carry on seeing him if it wasn't going anywhere many times over a couple of months. He reassured me it wasn't and that he couldn't do anything if he's busy or doesn't have credit. I always believed him and carried on seeing him. However 2 months later the excuses got old after i'd traveled to see him because he told me he had no money and found out he spent £20 on weed instead. I then straight up ask him what he wants and he said "he's happy with how things are and doesn't want a relationship". I was shocked, even agreed to carry on seeing him as long as we were exclusive. I reconsidered and tried to regain my dignity, sending him an emotional message asking how he can just see me as a hook up after what we had and that i was done. He didn't bother replying. I stupidly sent another message asking if he'd got my message and he ignored me again. He's now also blocked me off everything. I feel completely used and that i've come out of this looking like the crazy one by the push pull of ending it and then getting back with him and sending that long message. I must look so stupid and like i've over reacted to the whole thing because thought it meant more. I also made it a point to never have sex outside of a relationship so morally this has really affected me. I accept i'm to blame too in this for giving sex without commitment but it didn't even cross my mind that he'd treat me so disrespectfully as he never has before, and i was so close with him once and trusted him. I've also learnt my lesson but it's completely ruined my self esteem and the memories i had with him. I just feel awful about myself and how easy i look in his eyes now. This has hurt me more than the break up for some reason, why can't i just get over it?! Edited December 11, 2012 by Char12
sharsh Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 My ex guy is just like this. After our break up, I immediately became just a hook up in his eyes. After three years together I was really baffled how I could go from meaning the world, to meaning just another warm body to stick his dick in. It's a sh*tty, sh*tty feeling. I told him I couldn't do it anymore, and that if that's all he wanted from me, I wouldn't talk to him, and I've been NC ever since. I'm still hurting though, just because I don't understand how you can go from being the love of someones life to just a booty call. I'll never understand how the male mind works in that aspect.. It's just best to pick yourself up from the boot straps and try to move on, and not look back.
CptSaveAho Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 (edited) Women do this too Its called "Love CPR" They reach out when they are having a bad day, you respond, hookup, and they are off back into the wind. If you "understand" and are able to do this without attachment, then do it... but most people can't and it hurts, why most of us just stay NC Edited December 11, 2012 by CptSaveAho
Author Char12 Posted December 11, 2012 Author Posted December 11, 2012 That's exactly how i feel Sharsh.. i can't get my head around it either.
bitterruin Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 I was having sex and talking about getting back together with my ex of 5 years until he found a 17 year old to replace me and I was thrown out like a piece of garbage. Let me clarify it's not the "male mind" though. I'm a male as well and I would never do this to anyone. Especially someone I allegedly 'love.'
Recommended Posts