Author frederickkk Posted December 12, 2012 Author Share Posted December 12, 2012 the problem here, is that she is head strong. or pretends she is. Link to post Share on other sites
Sav Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 the problem here, is that she is head strong. or pretends she is. Then you guys are perfect for each other Link to post Share on other sites
winstonsdreams Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 Dude what you are going through is completely normal, but it's the way you choose to react that will determine whether you get through this or not. Look at all these awesome people offering you advice, this forum is amazing, but it's up to you to listen to these people. What you are reading is from other peoples experience, we all know what we are talking about because we were there. So many times i came on here because i was like "S*** i want to contact her, i know i am going to do it, where are my break up buddies?" I came here poured my heart out, and got drilled many times (i am the dumper) but i ALWAYS listened to what people said. When my exes birthday came up i came here, people said dude man up leave her alone, i listened. When i saw her out at a club and she ignored me, i came here, i asked for advice, I listened. Guess what, i am here and i am doing just fine. Prolonging your agony is not going to help you. I am telling you this, if she wanted to be with you, you guys would be together, f*** this "she is headstrong, strong minded/willed" blah blah s***. Dude it is over, you have to move on or this will kill you, and buddy no woman is worth that, if you think she is worth dying for then you were never worth it in the first place. But you ARE worth it, you WILL meet someone else. Now be a man, and move one. Do NOT contact her again!!!!!!!!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author frederickkk Posted December 13, 2012 Author Share Posted December 13, 2012 sorry, but i am 26. ive met the woman i want to spend the rest of my life with. if i get arrested for harrassment i dont give a f uck! you heard me! im sending emails, she will read them and be constantly evaluating her decision. having a respectable job, this that, 9-5 f uck all that. get with it people. if you love someone, you will bend a rse over elbow to get them back and that is exactly what i am doing. if i end up in prison, i will change. until then, watch this space. Link to post Share on other sites
Author frederickkk Posted December 13, 2012 Author Share Posted December 13, 2012 and you know something? it hurts like f uck. every day. my father passed away when i was 8. ive had two previous long term relationships, which i both broke off, and got over. im not getting over her. and that is what makes me STRONG. all the advice in the world. no contact is a wuss' way out. f uck that for a laugh. no contact allows them to bury their feelings. come on, it doesn't take a scientist to work that out. i'm going to fight, every sodding day. and if anyone challenges me on here, try again. because i'm not the wuss here. Link to post Share on other sites
Sav Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 trollalolololololol have no idea what to say. but since we're just saying nonsense this will do Link to post Share on other sites
Author frederickkk Posted December 13, 2012 Author Share Posted December 13, 2012 like a child. grow up son. grow some balls and respect the way i am going about things. be logical. Link to post Share on other sites
spaniard Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 (edited) like a child. grow up son. grow some balls and respect the way i am going about things. be logical. You are a child, not a man. Therefore it's you who should grow up. You don't have balls to face the facts, you have dug your head in the sand hoping this whole thing with the break up and your ex gone is not real. I think we safely call it cowardice. I would call it denial if you were in the first few weeks, but it has been going on for too long to say that. You are absolutely, utterly illogical ever since you have joined this forum. But I won't judge for that, it's part of the break up period. Edited December 13, 2012 by spaniard Link to post Share on other sites
Sav Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 like a child. grow up son. grow some balls and respect the way i am going about things. be logical. I grew balls the moment my ex dumped me. And I'm having no difficulties in living my life. That breakup happened like 5-6months ago? lolol grow up? You should grow up. Stop whining. If you dont want advice then go write a journal. You can write all the crap in it and no one will give two hoots. Logical? Oh yea. I can see how logical you are. Delusional and logical sure come hand in hand yea? Link to post Share on other sites
winstonsdreams Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 go for it man, you obviously don't want anyone's advice on here. i feel sorry for you, these people are trying to help, the way they helped me. I am telling you from experience it gets better, and what people on here told me got me to where i am today. But anyway, Good luck dude Link to post Share on other sites
Author frederickkk Posted December 13, 2012 Author Share Posted December 13, 2012 go for it man, you obviously don't want anyone's advice on here. i feel sorry for you, these people are trying to help, the way they helped me. I am telling you from experience it gets better, and what people on here told me got me to where i am today. But anyway, Good luck dude what gets better? the lessening of the pain? Link to post Share on other sites
Author frederickkk Posted December 13, 2012 Author Share Posted December 13, 2012 I grew balls the moment my ex dumped me. And I'm having no difficulties in living my life. That breakup happened like 5-6months ago? lolol grow up? You should grow up. Stop whining. If you dont want advice then go write a journal. You can write all the crap in it and no one will give two hoots. Logical? Oh yea. I can see how logical you are. Delusional and logical sure come hand in hand yea? if you wanted her, you would go after her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author frederickkk Posted December 13, 2012 Author Share Posted December 13, 2012 You are a child, not a man. Therefore it's you who should grow up. You don't have balls to face the facts, you have dug your head in the sand hoping this whole thing with the break up and your ex gone is not real. I think we safely call it cowardice. I would call it denial if you were in the first few weeks, but it has been going on for too long to say that. You are absolutely, utterly illogical ever since you have joined this forum. But I won't judge for that, it's part of the break up period. child or man....child or man......or a fighter? who gives Link to post Share on other sites
spaniard Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 (edited) or a fighter? Fighter? Don't make me laugh, please. You are not a fighter. A fighter faces his enemy. You don't have an enemy apart from your illusions that you don't dare to fight. By the way, it's funny how many guys feel this after the break up. They think when they are dumped that they somehow got into a "war" that has to be "won". Somehow the evil world has taken their ex-girlfriend and now they have to "fight" to get them back. Let me explain something. There are certain situation when the world really are against a relationship. It can be for numerous reason. In the past and in some less civilized parts of the world even now, social reasons are quite often. It happened many times that a man had to fight society and its crazy traditions to get the girl. For example, I knew a story about a man who had a Jewish wife in WWII in my country. Now he had to fight for his family to live (eventually they managed to leave the country). But when your girlfriend breaks up with you, it's not a war. You don't have to fight anyone. You don't have enemies. Your girlfriend falls out of love and moves on. She tells you that the relationship is over. If you are a man, you face your loss and do your best and fight hard to move on. A man can admit a defeat holding his head high. But if you are weak, if you don't have balls, you start devaluating yourself. You beg her to come back. You start writing e-mails every Wednesday and Saturday or whatever. You are too weak to accept that it's over. Of course, your ex don't care about you, she probably won't even reply because she couldn't care less. This goes oon and on and on until you realize that you are not a man anymore. You feel ashamed. "What have I done?" So you want to be a man again ASAP. You hit the gym etc etc etc And of course you grow balls to fight and kill your feelings that make you suffer. You initiate NC. Of course, your heart wants you to contact her, but fhack that, you are a man, you can fight your feelings. And so on, until you heal completely, which is, unfortunately, quite a long process. But fred, you are not a fighter, forget that BS right now. However, you can find fighters here on LS, just look around and try be inspired by them. Edited December 13, 2012 by spaniard Link to post Share on other sites
Sav Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 if you wanted her, you would go after her. I wanted her, she didn't and now I don't. While you are stuck in your own pathetic world crying her a darn river and she's out screwing other guys. wheeeeeee Link to post Share on other sites
Renard99 Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 if you wanted her, you would go after her. Yeah, but what you don't see is that if she wanted you, she'd be with you........ but she's not (And don't give me any of that BS about her not wanting you to move on. If she wanted to be with you she would never have left and she would be with you now) I can't see how you can't see that. Link to post Share on other sites
Renard99 Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 Fred, It's just occured to me that you now fit the definition of a stalker; "a constellation of behaviours in which an individual inflicts upon another repeated intrusions and communications" Please, seek help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author frederickkk Posted December 13, 2012 Author Share Posted December 13, 2012 I'm not getting face time with her. Face time. I want her to tell me, never again, to my face? She needs to grow some balls and a. do that or b. phone the police. but she won't phone the police. end of. Link to post Share on other sites
Sav Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 Agreed with the last part of the statement where you said he gotta let go. Disagreed with the front part where you go on about people not knowing. Take a look around here and recognize that you and him are not that special. We give this advice because we have been on this path before.Stop throwing a pity party for yourselves. We have held on and we have let go. We know how both ways work. Not strong enough to hold on when 99% of the hope is gone? I would say we were strong enough to recognize the other party not wanting to be us and let them go instead of suffocating her like what people like you do. Give it up. Stop masking every action as that of a fighter. Don't be a coward and face the darkness. Only then will one find the light at the end of the tunnel 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sav Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 The first part of my statement was a description of how he's feeling at the moment.. The way I felt before realising my actions were completely ludacris. The way I felt before I started reading wise advice from the people who frequent these boards. He's stuck. Just as I was. Fighting the wrong battle.. I was not at all trying to say you guys posting real advice don't know more than me.. I was just trying to type out how he's feeling at the moment.. "No one understands", "nobody has ever felt this way before" Was just trying to point out that, before I came here and really took on board what you more wise guys were telling me, I felt exactly the same as he does. My apologies if I misintepreted the front part of the message. I do not want fred here to think his actions are justified. His way of thinking is warped and honestly people who think like that needs professional help ASAP Link to post Share on other sites
terlislee Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 (edited) You can't fight for something that's not yours. You don't own her and never did. The fact you had a relationship was because it was a mutual decision, once one person decides to leave, there is nothing left for you to fight for. You are acting as if somebody stole your favourite toy and you want it back. I know you think you're doing this because you love her, but in fact this is all about you and your stubborn selfishness and fear to face the rejection. If you love someone you have to let them go no matter how much that hurts, it shows them you care enough to respect them and their decisions. You are stalking her by this point, you have to stop and face yourself and you pain without reaching out to her. Yes sending her emails makes you feel good, because it gives you an illusion of you two still being in contact, but that's all it ever will be - an illusion. You have to stop this obsession. She won't care if you get arrested, she probably lost all respect for you by now and would you want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't respect you? You are killing all and any remaining feelings she might still have for you. You are trying to justify your behaviour to yourself by posting here, but there's nothing right in it and it's the worst way to go about it if you want someone back. You should go seek professional help, because you seem incapable to accept and process any of this on your own and instead expect her to miraculously come back to you and solve everything. Life is hard and you have to learn how to deal with loss in a healthy way. Edited December 13, 2012 by terlislee Link to post Share on other sites
spaniard Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 All these people giving you advice.. They probably don't know what they're talking about. They haven't done what you're doing, they haven't loved someone so much they would give their life for them, they haven't been strong enough to hold on even though 99% of hope is gone.. You couldn't be further from the truth, my friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author frederickkk Posted December 13, 2012 Author Share Posted December 13, 2012 i can assure you, im not in any cycle. she gave mixed messages. changed her number because i fell into desperation. texting her all the time. im now emailing her every 5 6 days. i will never try this hard again, for anyone. she is irreplaceable in my eyes. it is worth the gamble. yeah, i do wonder what she is going through when i email her...... the problem here, is her friends are telling her be single, her parents want her to do well at uni. thats it, and now she is abiding to that, under pressure, not listening to her heart or her feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
spaniard Posted December 13, 2012 Share Posted December 13, 2012 I was just trying to explain how I know he's feeling. The way I felt before I started reading and taking advice from you guys on here. I said that to Sav a couple posts ago lol Ah okay, my bad. I had replied before I read all the posts after yours. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author frederickkk Posted December 13, 2012 Author Share Posted December 13, 2012 she shouldn't blow hot and cold. the illusion here is that she has moved on. Link to post Share on other sites
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