smile95 Posted August 12, 2004 Share Posted August 12, 2004 I have been seeing a man who has a young child and has been sep for 2 yrs. We have been dating 2 yrs. THe divorce is reaching the end and he just stopped calling me and said he was upset and feels bad about his child and is confused. I want to be there for him but he will not let me. We have not talked in 2 wks? Is it stressful to divorce even though you may still want it? I know they are not even getting back, but is it possible to just be really stressed at this time in his life. I am confused and he will not talk to me. He did this before and called a few wks later and said he needed time. I am just lost. I have given up on ever hearing from him again. I am hurt, but also worried about him. Clearly he is not worried about me if he ignores me though. He is a "tough guy" and keeps it all in. Maybe he really is having a hard time?HELP Link to post Share on other sites
TempSain Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 Hard to say. I am sure he is going through alot but then, he could be interested in someone else too and using the divorce as an excuse. Too many things to speculate. If I were you, I would just give him space and try to stay busy. He will eventually come around when he is ready. And if he doesn't call, forget him, it was never meant to be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted August 13, 2004 Author Share Posted August 13, 2004 thanks for the reply. I am just going to let it go. I know he gets stressed and shuts people out. I talked to his mom and she has not heard form him either, but we know he is alive! It just hurts that he does not think of me, but I have no idea how it feels to lose custody of your child. Thank you! If it is meant to be, I guess he will come back. I know there is no one else. But I still have thoughts of that sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
TempSain Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 I understand what your going through. Life has its funny was of making people insecure when someone they love and care for does not recipricate the same feelings back. All in all, we just have to deal with what we get in this life. Do you like dogs? I recently got one and I have found that they bring alot of joy to my life. I have a small Maltese and it was the best money I have ever spent. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted August 13, 2004 Author Share Posted August 13, 2004 OH MY GOSH!!!!!!! i just got a maltese and he is the love of my life!!!!! How weird??? He is 8 months old and he has made me laugh again!! Is your a boy or girl.....that is so weird Link to post Share on other sites
TempSain Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 Wow! What coincidence. Mine is a girl and she also is the love of my life. I realized that you can be alone from time to time and having a dog sure keeps you from being lonely. Too funny! Link to post Share on other sites
Scott S Posted August 26, 2004 Share Posted August 26, 2004 Hi Beth Recently joined. Pardon me for sounding in a little late. Yes, a divorce is one of the most traumatic events a person might go through. In terms of stress, it ranks right up with the death of a spouse. What's worse is that while a newly-widowed person receives an outpouring of sympathy, it seem a newly-divorced/separated person is expected to just resume life as though nothing ever happened. When I was divorced a few years ago, my own grandmother would only say"This too, shall pass." Which it did, of course, but a little tea & sympathy would have been nice. What many people don't realize is that a divorcee has suffered a loss too, & like suffering any loss, there is a grieving process to go through. Confusion can be part of the process. Someone grieving may act strange, say strange things that they don't mean, etc. If he needs a little space, then give it to him, let him know you're there for him, & let him wotk through this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted August 26, 2004 Author Share Posted August 26, 2004 Thank you. I have left him a message(since he will not talk to me) that I am going to move on and when/if he needs someone to be there for him, I am there. I am hurt, but he hides his feelings and always acted like it never bothered him, but now that it is happ, I think he is stressed. Along with work and child custody. THank you Link to post Share on other sites
Scott S Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 Good. Give him a little time, but get on with your life too. At least you know that there are others getting the silent treatment, & you aren't being singled out. Hopefully, once he realizes the void in his life, he'll want to be back together again. Take care, & good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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