Want to End Relationship, Support Needed

[HighHeels]

This is my first post. I am both an OW and have been betrayed by MM. He is also seeing my former friend.

 

Although I feel devistated by this, it is the kick in the butt I needed to realize how shallow he is. I can see that he wants everything his way and has used his charm to deflect my objections and has lied to me (and of course his wife).

 

I can see on this forum and others that No Contact should be initiated. I want to e-mail him. Is this appropraiate? I really don't want to talk to him anymore. I feel fake and phony and I'm tired of the meaningless conversations.

[Pierre]

This is my first post. I am both an OW and have been betrayed by MM. He is also seeing my former friend.

 

Although I feel devistated by this, it is the kick in the butt I needed to realize how shallow he is. I can see that he wants everything his way and has used his charm to deflect my objections and has lied to me (and of course his wife).

 

I can see on this forum and others that No Contact should be initiated. I want to e-mail him. Is this appropraiate? I really don't want to talk to him anymore. I feel fake and phony and I'm tired of the meaningless conversations.

 

 

 

NC should be 100%.

 

And that includes no emails.

 

Do not read old emails.

Change your phone number and email account.

Tell the wife to truly have NC from his part.

Throw away old photos and emails as well as texts.

 

If you work with him (which is likely) get another job.

Move to another state.

Seek counseling. It sounds you are upset about OOW and not the fact that he is married.

[skywriter]

This is my first post. I am both an OW and have been betrayed by MM. He is also seeing my former friend.

 

Although I feel devistated by this, it is the kick in the butt I needed to realize how shallow he is. I can see that he wants everything his way and has used his charm to deflect my objections and has lied to me (and of course his wife).

 

I can see on this forum and others that No Contact should be initiated. I want to e-mail him. Is this appropraiate? I really don't want to talk to him anymore. I feel fake and phony and I'm tired of the meaningless conversations.

 

 

I agree with Pierre. This is what happened to me with MM.

I went NC and we haven't been in contact in 7 months.

 

I am in a much better place emotionally for it. I hope you will do the same for yourself.

[MissBee]

This is my first post. I am both an OW and have been betrayed by MM. He is also seeing my former friend.

 

Although I feel devistated by this, it is the kick in the butt I needed to realize how shallow he is. I can see that he wants everything his way and has used his charm to deflect my objections and has lied to me (and of course his wife).

 

I can see on this forum and others that No Contact should be initiated. I want to e-mail him. Is this appropraiate? I really don't want to talk to him anymore. I feel fake and phony and I'm tired of the meaningless conversations.

 

What do you want to email him about?

 

I suggest not emailing him but just being done. He is seeing your friend? Does he know you know?

 

There is nothing to say. I'd avoid any emotional emails. Just cut him off quietly.

[Patrice]

Just cut it off, if you e-mail - you will give him more ammunition to keep you

ensnared in it ... better to realize you made a mistake, and move on with your life.

[Pierre]

I explained it all on another post, but My ex mm (who is in radio) & I haven't talked to since in 5 months but once in August. He plays Me songs on the radio (1st & last song) responding to My current tweets. People ask how do you know the songs are for you and how do you know he's reading your twitter....trust Me I know. If I explained How I KNEW we'd be here another 10 mins.

 

I am sorry to inform you that you are not NC at all. Waiting to hear those songs and writing in twitter so MOM can read is CONTACT!!!!!

 

Get that? You have wasted your time for five moths. You are not NC

 

 

All I am saying is, I am tired, I'm exhausted and I am realizing he is like a drug that I need to go cold turkey on. How to do it consumes my day. And I keep saying today is the day & today never comes. Once again here I sit. And I am going to try again to be strong. I have nothing more to give. I have no more tears. I have no more energy. Today has to be the day.

 

The problem is that your NC is not hermetic or 100% NC. Imagine if you were an alcoholic and decided to stop drinking by smelling the alcohol beverage everyday and just taking a sip of wine once a week. At the end of the journey you would fail and go back to drink very heavily. This is an ALL or NOTHING process. You need to go 100% NC.

 

I am sorry to hear you are not doing well. But, if you do NC 100% you will get better. If you break NC, no matter how little you are back to square one.

[Pierre]

Well my advice differs a bit. I think if you are absolutely sure that you want to end it, then by all means send a SHORT email and tell him that it is not working for you and it's OVER and that you do not wish to speak to him ever again. However you should be sure, or else if you break down and contact him or respond to him, he will know that you don't mean what you say and then he has the advantage again.

 

When an OW tries to break up the first time the rate of success is less than 5%. If she writes that email MOM will use his charm and will bring her right back. The best way to break up is with a good d-day.

[promises]

When an OW tries to break up the first time the rate of success is less than 5%. If she writes that email MOM will use his charm and will bring her right back. The best way to break up is with a good d-day.

 

less than 5%. That's a fascinating fact. Makes me even more p.issed. Are these men sociopaths or just have that large of egos they care so little for another persons boundaries? From my experience, true. (I'm having an angry day with this...)