older men

[torontochick21]

i was involved in a serious relationship with a close family friend who was 10 years older than me. we dated for over a year , however he wanted more from the relationship, ie marriage or more of a commitment. we got along perfectly and i had a llot of fun with him. we were both eachothers first loves!!. the relationship ended at the end of august. i wasn't in the position nor did i want to commit to him. yes i did love him very much however, i did not want to live my life for him. he wanted children in the next few years, however, i would ave only been in my third year of university.

 

i think about him constantly. who knows if we are meant to be together we will hook up later.

 

if anyone is in this situation or can offer me any advice or just comment on my situation, that would be greatly appreciated.

 

thank you

[Tony T]

You did what you had to do. No matter how much you love or care about somebody, if you aren't ready to make a move and they are...all bets are off.

 

Sure, you could get together with him in the future. But if he has the urge to merge and reproduce, it is likely he will be looking for that.

 

The difference in ages makes absolutely no difference, once a woman is past 25 or so. A woman of 18 would be looking for trouble dating a guy 30 or older, in most cases, although that has worked out infrequently. You look for the same things in a person no matter how old they are. If the age difference is too great, there are probably a lot of historical things the older will have experienced and the younger not.

 

I think you still love this guy and rightly so. But it takes more than love to make a relationship. You have to be comfortable with all aspects, including timing. I applaud you for not giving in to this and taking a more practical approach. That doesn't make things any less painful in the short run...but eventually you will realize the wisdom of your decision.

 

After being with anyone for a period of time, you will know if it will work or not. In your case, it seems everything was very special...except for the timing. Don't look back. Date guys closer to your age who may not be so eager to get hitched.

 

I'm with you. Kids can wait. Have fun while you're young.

[apple of sodom]

He is a close family friend, so this could mean that there will most definitely be some form of connection between the two of you for some time. Remember this and keep thinking about him fondly and in time you will figure out what you truly want. It's hard to think that a love you once had might move on without you and find someone else. He wanted a serious commitment and children which you were not willing to offer him at the time. Make sure you are ready for this serious commitment and if not, prepare yourself to accept that he may not always be around when you are ready.

 

There are no easy answers.

 

This is just me-- I believe that if things are meant to be

 

than they will happen. That's just my belief. Every situation is different. You have to find the answer within yourself. Good luck.

 

i was involved in a serious relationship with a close family friend who was 10 years older than me. we dated for over a year , however he wanted more from the relationship, ie marriage or more of a commitment. we got along perfectly and i had a llot of fun with him. we were both eachothers first loves!!. the relationship ended at the end of august. i wasn't in the position nor did i want to commit to him. yes i did love him very much however, i did not want to live my life for him. he wanted children in the next few years, however, i would ave only been in my third year of university. i think about him constantly. who knows if we are meant to be together we will hook up later.

 

if anyone is in this situation or can offer me any advice or just comment on my situation, that would be greatly appreciated. thank you

[Deejette]

I have been in a similar sitiuation (twice) and l really loved the guys but they wanted to get married and have a family when I was way too young (10 or more years difference). I had to break it off and it hurt, but there were a lot of things I could see down the road that would cause problems. They ran with an "older" crowd, was just one problem for me.

 

Love sometimes is not enough. And even though I sometimes think back on what my life might have been if I had stayed with them, I realize that it takes more than romance and passion to make a marriage work over time. Compatibiity is very important as the years go by.

He is a close family friend, so this could mean that there will most definitely be some form of connection between the two of you for some time. Remember this and keep thinking about him fondly and in time you will figure out what you truly want. It's hard to think that a love you once had might move on without you and find someone else. He wanted a serious commitment and children which you were not willing to offer him at the time. Make sure you are ready for this serious commitment and if not, prepare yourself to accept that he may not always be around when you are ready. There are no easy answers. This is just me-- I believe that if things are meant to be than they will happen. That's just my belief. Every situation is different. You have to find the answer within yourself. Good luck.