Keeping Passion Alive ?

[HeavenOrHell]

Definitely not unreasonable advice to say only do it if you trust your partner and are comfortable doing it, that's what I'm saying too.

 

It won't end up on the web if they are trustworthy.

 

 

 

Not a lack of trust, neither my partner or I are interested in that. If anything I'm probably a bit more paranoid about this sort of stuff than most because I work in IT and the amount of highly sensitive information people leave laying around on easily accessible devices boggles my mind sometimes.

 

It was more of a cautionary thing for the younger members on the board more than anything else, who sometimes do things like this without taking in to consideration these factors or maybe doing this sort of stuff with someone they don't fully trust.

 

If you are comfortable and happy doing that with your partner than more power too you, I don't think it's wrong or anything like that.

 

I don't think it's unreasonable advice? That you trust the person you are doing this with, that you and your partner are comfortable doing it and that it could potentially end up on the web. If you are fine with that go nuts.

[Toddbt12y1]

It took years with my ex before we started to cam. Trust had to be built. Even then, I saw her at times in the real world. I trusted her and her me. I do still have intimate pictures of her, no recordings(wouldn't do that.) I do not keep them to look at them, but just for a personal reason.

 

She cheated on me etc etc. I haven't taken revenge. I could, but I love her too much. So I am trustworthy. I know she hasn't done me wrong in that area. But yeah, we cammed certain times. I loved her voice though just as much, so cam was a special bonus, we mainly used it for other things.

 

I understand fears. People can hack about anything these days. Cams included. I'd go with whatever is more comfortable.

[Million.to.1]

I enjoy sharing "risky" photos and vids with my partner. We don't (haven't yet) had live cam/skype of that kind just because it hasn't been appropriate timing wise or with a strong enough internet connection etc, but i'd be up for it and i trust him not to do anything with them so that's not a worry.

I have had a couple of LDR where we shared pics and vids and I still trust my ex's not to need "revenge" or do anything bad with them if they still have them.. i think that's more of a young persons game.

 

At first, when i was more worried about that possibility, i sent "headless" pics, so that if they did end up anywhere, I'm not recognizable anyway.

 

Also... TBH, I'm more of a tease anyway... I don't give anything too explicit or graphic... and with all the amazing porn available online, if any i gave were to be uploaded to the internet, i can't imagine some video of me doing a bit of a strip tease would be of much interest to strangers trying to get off.

[bluegreen]

Trust worthy partner trust worthy partner are you saying that those people are perfect ( no offense ) but no one is perfect we all are prone to "dark" moments and in one of those moments ugly things happen.

 

Now on another hand even if someone was lucky enough to have such person

millions of people get hacked , loose cell phones or laptops and how about just one or few "pictures" or "videos" where part of it or on those devices than what?

[Toddbt12y1]

What about texts? Even a simple text or pictures can be used. Nothing is without risk. Yeah, people are evil by nature; but what one does doesn't mean someone else does.

 

Trust is so subjective afterall. In time trust is built. No different than any relationship. Your husbands could post bad things about you, but you trust them not too. Though they could. Heck, one's brother could do that!

 

Point is, we must eventually step out of fear and into the risks and dangers of life. But once again, one should do what only they feel comfortable doing.

[bluegreen]

I did not mention text for one simple reason unless real names are in the "play" then is if not much then relatively safe.

And yes you are right people have became so bad and evil that there is no words to describe and often those most closest to us are ones to stab us in a back.

 

Now I do realize all those loving feeling bragging about your s/o but once I read something really great : If you are truly telling the truth you don't need to convince anyone of it.

 

So please it would be lovely if for this post you could keep that in mind I already said once some members here sound more in desperation to convince themselves of their s/o worthiness then convince rest of us here ...

[Million.to.1]

I think it's funnier that people would think that anyone else would WANT to see their naughty cam escapades if uploaded by an ex...

I mean, if you really think about it, unless you are famous, who is going to care about seeing you shake your bits on bad quality video?

[Toddbt12y1]

I did not mention text for one simple reason unless real names are in the "play" then is if not much then relatively safe.

And yes you are right people have became so bad and evil that there is no words to describe and often those most closest to us are ones to stab us in a back.

 

Now I do realize all those loving feeling bragging about your s/o but once I read something really great : If you are truly telling the truth you don't need to convince anyone of it.

 

So please it would be lovely if for this post you could keep that in mind I already said once some members here sound more in desperation to convince themselves of their s/o worthiness then convince rest of us here ...

 

If you are talking about me, then wow. I mean, really? I am relating how I feel and see on this subject. I use my experiences to give advice. When did I ever brag about an s/o? Why would I when she cheated? I certainly am not trying to convince anyone on L/S about my level of care or goodness towards my ex.

 

In the end, if one wants honest advice, it only comes from experience. It is how I related my views of it toward you. Even than, I clearly said, "do what is most comfortable for you." But if you're gonna be this way about it...

 

I mean, who brags about an ex or the way they treated them to convince strangers? I needn't prove nothing neither to anyone here or myself. I did all my proving in my R, to my lover, I needn't strangers, my actions showed my intent.

[Els]

 

I don't think it's unreasonable advice? That you trust the person you are doing this with, that you and your partner are comfortable doing it and that it could potentially end up on the web. If you are fine with that go nuts.

 

I don't think this advice is unreasonable in itself, I'm saying that when you have reached a certain stage in your relationship, you will always need to let that barrier down and allow your partner in, despite the fact that they can 'potentially' hurt you with any of that. Webcam sex is not for everyone, but for some people in LDRs, it is important.

 

You telling HoH, "Oh, if you are comfortable that it could potentially end up on a website somewhere then that's fine", is really like telling a couple who are marrying after 7 years of being together, "Oh, if you are comfortable that it could potentially end up with her taking your house and everything you've got, then that's fine." I mean, that's technically true, it's just an oddly paranoid thing to say to someone who is doing a perfectly reasonable and normal thing given the stage they are in of their relationship.

 

Trust worthy partner trust worthy partner are you saying that those people are perfect ( no offense ) but no one is perfect we all are prone to "dark" moments and in one of those moments ugly things happen.

 

Now on another hand even if someone was lucky enough to have such person

millions of people get hacked , loose cell phones or laptops and how about just one or few "pictures" or "videos" where part of it or on those devices than what?

 

As I said before, webcam sessions don't automatically get recorded unless the person on the other end consciously and deliberately set up software recording for it. For this to happen, your partner must have pre-planned everything and taken a recording on the sly while pretending that everything was good between the two of you, and THEN distributed it over the internet.

[bluegreen]

If you are talking about me, then wow. I mean, really? I am relating how I feel and see on this subject. I use my experiences to give advice. When did I ever brag about an s/o? Why would I when she cheated? I certainly am not trying to convince anyone on L/S about my level of care or goodness towards my ex.

 

In the end, if one wants honest advice, it only comes from experience. It is how I related my views of it toward you. Even than, I clearly said, "do what is most comfortable for you." But if you're gonna be this way about it...

 

I mean, who brags about an ex or the way they treated them to convince strangers? I needn't prove nothing neither to anyone here or myself. I did all my proving in my R, to my lover, I needn't strangers, my actions showed my intent.

 

 

 

1 ) I did not mentioned names or nick names pointed fingers at offenders

did I

2) Sometimes thinking and being sure of what to say before blurting out stuff might be helpful a lot

3) Lets go back to a theme of the post shall we please ...

[bluegreen]

I think it's funnier that people would think that anyone else would WANT to see their naughty cam escapades if uploaded by an ex...

I mean, if you really think about it, unless you are famous, who is going to care about seeing you shake your bits on bad quality video?

 

O boy now this is a mine field of naive thinking no offense meant tough :

Your employer, Your Family, Your Next S/O , your Children, Friends, and all those people that mean everything to you in your life.

Have you not heard or read how many people lost job's over this titles for competitions, awards for scholar ships and so on ?

[HeavenOrHell]

I'm not perfect, my partner's not perfect, but we're both trustworthy, we will never cheat on each other, and we will never betray each other's trust, fact. I also know that if we split we will be friends for life, same as me and my ex, we were together nearly 20 years, trusted each other implicitly, always have and always will.

 

You learn to know as you get older who is trustworthy and who isn't.

 

It's not 'lucky' to have a trustworthy partner, plenty of people do, the type of men I go for are compassionate, warm hearted, trustworthy, loyal and always have a big conscience.

 

It's highly unlikely any of our videos, pics or skypings will get hacked, there's a lot of 'what ifs' in all aspects of everyone's lives, we can be careful about it but still enjoy it.

 

 

 

Trust worthy partner trust worthy partner are you saying that those people are perfect ( no offense ) but no one is perfect we all are prone to "dark" moments and in one of those moments ugly things happen.

 

Now on another hand even if someone was lucky enough to have such person

millions of people get hacked , loose cell phones or laptops and how about just one or few "pictures" or "videos" where part of it or on those devices than what?

[HeavenOrHell]

You've got hold of the wrong end of the stick

 

You are implying that those of us who trust our partner are naive to trust them, I am saying to those who don't trust their partner enough to webcam with them that this does not mean everyone else's partner is not trustworthy as well.

 

You sound as if you can't believe anyone could be trustworthy and to me that is a shame, I hope you will find someone you can totally trust and then you will see what I am talking about.

 

No, I don't have to prove or brag about my partner, it doesn't matter to me what anyone here thinks of my partner, as I said, he's not perfect, nor am I, but I trust him, but if someone is misunderstanding something or not listening properly to what I've said then of course I will correct them if they are wrong.

 

I did not mention text for one simple reason unless real names are in the "play" then is if not much then relatively safe.

And yes you are right people have became so bad and evil that there is no words to describe and often those most closest to us are ones to stab us in a back.

 

Now I do realize all those loving feeling bragging about your s/o but once I read something really great : If you are truly telling the truth you don't need to convince anyone of it.

 

So please it would be lovely if for this post you could keep that in mind I already said once some members here sound more in desperation to convince themselves of their s/o worthiness then convince rest of us here ...

[HeavenOrHell]

You come across as envious of people who have a partner they trust, like you've never had one, this is sad, and I hope you will find someone who you do trust totally and you'll see what we are talking about.

 

 

I did not mention text for one simple reason unless real names are in the "play" then is if not much then relatively safe.

And yes you are right people have became so bad and evil that there is no words to describe and often those most closest to us are ones to stab us in a back.

 

Now I do realize all those loving feeling bragging about your s/o but once I read something really great : If you are truly telling the truth you don't need to convince anyone of it.

 

So please it would be lovely if for this post you could keep that in mind I already said once some members here sound more in desperation to convince themselves of their s/o worthiness then convince rest of us here ...

[Million.to.1]

O boy now this is a mine field of naive thinking no offense meant tough :

Your employer, Your Family, Your Next S/O , your Children, Friends, and all those people that mean everything to you in your life.

Have you not heard or read how many people lost job's over this titles for competitions, awards for scholar ships and so on ?

 

I'm pretty far from naive thank-you very much.

 

I really don't understand where you are coming from at all. Are you saying that that your next S/O, your friends and family are so lame, that they would judge you on sharing something sexy with someone that you loved at one time?

I don't tend to surround myself with conservative judgmental idiots, nor would i work for one or be in a relationship with one. Most people in my life that i love and care about would look down their nose at a person sad and pathetic enough to need to spread old private footage in a lame attempt to stir-up problems for me.

 

I guess your point before about people saying they "trust their partners" and that saying it means it's not true, is actually irrelevant. You can use all the stupid quotes you want, but the bottom line is, I don't share things of that nature with the type of person the would ever stoop to such pathetic levels to get revenge, because it would only reflect badly on them and they would know that.

 

BTW... sex tapes of celebrities are released ALL THE TIME. All it creates is a bit of hype and then it's business as usual.

No one with any substance actually cares about this stuff for longer than 10 seconds.

Edited December 17, 2012 by Million.to.1

[justwhoiam]

Either you all live in some lalaland, or I don't know.

 

Please just acknowledge that there are things that are beyond your control and your good will/conscience whatever. EVEN when you trust your partner and he's worth your trust.

 

Who works in IT knows that very well.

 

It'd be like saying "I'm not leaving my country, so I won't get meningitis": hey, that's not a sure fact. That's all.

[Toddbt12y1]

I certainly do not ever recall in blatantly saying to out-right trust anyone, LOL. I said in time and that is true. Far from lalaland. In time you must trust. Trust doesn't mean being stupid. One knows the risks of hackers and all that good stuff. That's why you leave no recording or pictures up.

 

Yes...I know hackers can hack an active webcam. Difference between naive and lending trust after years. Sometimes you judge right and sometimes you judge wrong. Anyone can poison the well you drink from...LOL.

 

It's like playing football. A player knows the risk for injury, but either love for the game, or money compelled them. In otherwords, we know the risk, but we risk it at a chance to grow with a person.

[todreaminblue]

I can't describe the feeling of dread and iciness that goes over me when thinking of just how few moments of fun and games can turn into life long nightmare.

It can ruin personal relationships work school social life so yes I agree with both of you ladies its all fun only until someone does get hurt and if it comes from push to show I guess least evil of all would be phone chat no seen no sent only heard but its not even then to be done with just anyone ....

 

 

phone chats can be recorded .....unfortunately the only solution is implicit trust i suggest really knowing who you are with and what his past times are....deb

[HeavenOrHell]

Agree 100%!!

 

 

 

 

I guess your point before about people saying they "trust their partners" and that saying it means it's not true, is actually irrelevant. You can use all the stupid quotes you want, but the bottom line is, I don't share things of that nature with the type of person the would ever stoop to such pathetic levels to get revenge, because it would only reflect badly on them and they would know that.

 

BTW... sex tapes of celebrities are released ALL THE TIME. All it creates is a bit of hype and then it's business as usual.

No one with any substance actually cares about this stuff for longer than 10 seconds.

[HeavenOrHell]

When you meet someone you trust 100% you will understand how and why we trust our partners, you just won't understand it until then, no matter how much we explain it to you.

It my younger, naive days I was with someone who turned out to be untrustworthy, I learnt from that and would not be with someone like that ever again, 25 years on I've not been with anyone like that again.

I just find it very sad if people are with someone they don't totally trust, why be with them if you think they would be capable of doing something like betraying your trust with sex tapes/pics, I couldn't be in a r/ship like that.

It's not 'beyond my control', it's just fact that it's something he would not do, he's not petty or vindictive in any size, shape or form, nor was my ex.

Sorry that you don't feel the same about your partner though.

Having complete trust is a wonderful thing.

 

Either you all live in some lalaland, or I don't know.

 

Please just acknowledge that there are things that are beyond your control and your good will/conscience whatever. EVEN when you trust your partner and he's worth your trust.

 

Who works in IT knows that very well.

 

It'd be like saying "I'm not leaving my country, so I won't get meningitis": hey, that's not a sure fact. That's all.

[HeavenOrHell]

It's hardly living in la-la land to trust someone who is trustworthy.

 

*facepalm*

[justwhoiam]

It's hardly living in la-la land to trust someone who is trustworthy.

 

*facepalm*

You missed the point and I give up.

[Els]

Either you all live in some lalaland, or I don't know.

 

Please just acknowledge that there are things that are beyond your control and your good will/conscience whatever. EVEN when you trust your partner and he's worth your trust.

 

Who works in IT knows that very well.

 

It'd be like saying "I'm not leaving my country, so I won't get meningitis": hey, that's not a sure fact. That's all.

 

I work in IT.

 

The fact is that the 'risks' of webcam sex is way overhyped. Having webcam sex with a long-term partner whom you trust is about as risky as having protected RL sex with a long-term partner whom you trust, and in fact less so. Yes, your partner can secretly record your webcam sex and put it on the net. Your partner can also lie about their STDs, lie about being on BC, rape you when you tell him you aren't comfortable about a particular act. Yet I don't see threads about RL sex devolving into a group of people insisting that everyone who has sex must be 'comfortable with potentially contracting STDs from their partner or getting raped by their partner, otherwise they're living in la-la-land."

 

As for 'hacking', when people talk about being 'hacked' they generally refer to automated scripts that they themselves downloaded, that exploit a flaw in their OS/network/etc's security and release a payload in the form of a virus, worm, or keylogger. NONE of the automated scripts are capable of detecting when you're doing the naughty on Skype, recording it, and posting them online. Doing so requires a (good) hacker to personally create a backdoor exploit to allow them to remotely control and access your computer, then personally filter all the recorded stuff to obtain the naughty vids. And believe you me, there aren't many people capable of doing that, and those people have way better things to do with their time and ability than hacking YOUR computer. Sorry to disappoint you.

[Carenth]

You missed the point and I give up.

 

I hear that... What I have been trying to say is and justwhoami has as well. There are plenty of ways that this stuff can get leaked out which is out of you and your partners control. Trust has nothing to do with this, great you trust your partner fantastic.

 

But you are in lala land if you think there is no way this stuff can get leaked, hacked or accessed. Your partners trust isn't going to prevent that. I'm not saying it is going to happen to you, however it is naive to just write that off as an impossibility.

 

I will give you a very simple scenario that happens every day. Someone loses their phone/laptop, people bring me phones to fix every day at work because for some reason they think it's part of my job which it isn't.

 

Anyway the amount of stupid **** people store on phones for starters is just astounding. I've just been fixing someones phone oh whats this? naked pictures of some girl I have no ****ing idea who that is. I don't even have to look for this stuff it's there in plain daylight. People don't even need to hack these days, people offer up information on a silver platter in the form of phones. Get physical access to someones phone/laptop it doesn't take a genius to figure ways to get in.

 

Phones are not secure devices and I often see the as them weakest link in peoples digital profiles. If you have a itunes account or gmail linked to your phone and also to your computers, god help you if you ever lose your phone.

 

Laptops are easy to access as well unless you have taken some sort of preventative measure (which the vast majority of people do not.)

 

Just go look up some of the apple cases of people getting their macbooks, ipads or whatever crap remotely deleted because they lost their phone. Apple knew about it for years, but that can mean the opposite as well your devices can be accessed remotely. Yes there are people out there who have nothing better to do and get a rise out of doing stuff like this to random people.

 

Ever sold a computer/laptop or thrown out an old computer with the hard drive in it still in it? Congratulations you just gave someone pretty much all your personal information or whatever naughty fun times you may have had stored on that. No deleting files in your recycle bin does not actually delete files fun fact.

 

I could go on all day but I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall. It is a fact, if you have digital copies of any of this stuff some less scrupulous person may get access to it even if you partner is trustworthy it doesn't matter. That is a risk you take if you do this, which if you are fine with then that is great but it is naive to just dismiss it. Peoples lives have been ruined by what seemed like a harmless video/photos, careers ruined, reputations ruined, people commit suicide over this. Go look up Amanda Todd and tell me that is 100% safe. I'm writing this for the younger members of this board not for the rest of you.

 

This is a serious problem for the youth of today and if you haven't noticed we have quite a few younger people coming through here, I won't sugar coat it as a risk free activity just because some of you feel like disregarding reality and facts.

 

If you are fine with the risks then fine but don't pretend they don't exist. Do you know how many minors who just turned 18 are getting put on sex offenders lists for having digital copies of photos/videos of their boyfriends/girlfriends who are still underage in my country? A lot, it's a real problem.

Edited December 17, 2012 by Carenth

[Els]

I'm all for exercising caution and encouraging people to do the same, but I fail to see the point of your post. Nobody here is saying that any of this is risk-free, you do realize?