Is this relationship normal?

[FollowHim09]

Save all the long drawn out details -

 

We've been best friends for two years, super close.

We talk and communicate very well about everything.

We both came from VERY unhealthy relationships about two years ago (met post break-ups).

We have lots of chemistry. Became intimate about 4 months ago (It's real good, if ya know what I mean).

We have so much in common, yet we are different (there is always something to talk about).

We respect and deeply care for one another.

We get each other.

We are comfortable, it feels like home when we are together.

We laugh. All. The. Time.

For the first time in my life, I know what it is to truly love another person inside and out.

 

The only issue is that there is lots of confusion about the definition of our relationship. Both of us are scared to death of having "boyfriend/girlfriend" labels because of how badly we've been hurt. Also, we still need time to grow and have our freedom. I've taken the "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" approach and just kind of not worried about it, and I think he has too, but I will be graduating college in about 6 months (finally, we are both in our mid 20's btw), and we may have to make a decision that I don't think we are ready to make. Neither of us want to date or be with anyone else... It's just a commitment thing. I also think that it's something I will eventually grow out of, but I am scared he won't. I guess I am more or less curious about outside opinions. Our friends think we are together, but we just say we're friends. It's more than that, but I don't know exactly what it is. How do two people who are most likely in love handle having issues with commitment?

Any thoughts are appreciated. Thanks a bunch!

[Cutiepie1976]

...

 

We respect and deeply care for one another.

We get each other.

We are comfortable, it feels like home when we are together.

We laugh. All. The. Time.

For the first time in my life, I know what it is to truly love another person inside and out.

The only issue is that there is lots of confusion about the definition of our relationship. Both of us are scared to death of having "boyfriend/girlfriend" labels because of how badly we've been hurt. Also, we still need time to grow and have our freedom. I've taken the "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" approach and just kind of not worried about it, and I think he has too, but I will be graduating college in about 6 months (finally, we are both in our mid 20's btw), and we may have to make a decision that I don't think we are ready to make. Neither of us want to date or be with anyone else... It's just a commitment thing. I also think that it's something I will eventually grow out of, but I am scared he won't. I guess I am more or less curious about outside opinions. Our friends think we are together, but we just say we're friends. It's more than that, but I don't know exactly what it is. How do two people who are most likely in love handle having issues with commitment?

Any thoughts are appreciated. Thanks a bunch!

Hi FollowHim!

 

It all sounded great until I got to the latter half of your post. You've fallen in love with him, and are assuming he feels the same way. He may. He may not. It's important not to project your feelings on someone and assume those feelings you have are shared. The fact that you don't want to fix what "ain't broke" might be because you realize subconsciously that these deeper feelings of love won't be reciprocated. Is he fond of you? Yes. Does he enjoy being with you? No doubt. Most men (and women) enjoy sex. Is he in love with you as you are with him? Unclear.

 

The fact that you (plural you) refuse to define your relationship and that neither of you is honest with your friends? Those are red flags to me. Sometimes, it can mean one, possibly both, realize there's a bit of a disconnect in how you feel about each other.

 

You need to have a conversation with him about your feelings. You seem like a really great person. You owe it to yourself to figure out whether he shares your sentiments. Delaying will only make things harder and more hurtful down the road. If he does indeed share your feelings, you'll have something to celebrate. If he doesn't, you get a chance to leave and find happiness with someone who truly loves you too, rather than continuing to invest emotionally in someone who won't feel the same.