Author bigsteve1966 Posted December 15, 2012 Author Share Posted December 15, 2012 Judging by the tone of your posts, I feel you've already made up your mind. All I will say is that if she loved you for better of worse, there would not have been a break up. Best of luck keeping the baby's daddy from stealing your GF again. he never stole her ...if i did what she wanted years ago she never would have left Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 So you kind of sort of said you'd have kids with her but not really and you never gave her any sort of straight answer and strung her along for 4 years, and she dumped you and found herself an unwilling sperm donor who she's not giving the option of being a father to his own child. Ugh..you two deserve each other. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bigsteve1966 Posted December 15, 2012 Author Share Posted December 15, 2012 So you kind of sort of said you'd have kids with her but not really and you never gave her any sort of straight answer and strung her along for 4 years, and she dumped you and found herself an unwilling sperm donor who she's not giving the option of being a father to his own child. Ugh..you two deserve each other. you oviously didnt read my blog, but made a comment anyways, thats ok like i said before im on here just to vent and get out frustration cause i cant talk really to anyboby about this,,,,,i might not have given her what she wanted right away cause i wanted to get married first before i got her pregnant , but no doubt we love each other, she isnt evil and i didnt string anybody along, cause if i stay with her im not just gonna live with her i will marry her and take care of the child. this isnt some Jerry Springer show, this is real life to me i am really hurt , sad and just really unhappy about the whole situation. i have 3 biological kids so im ok i feel like i have surved my purpose raised them and my oldest daughter even gave me a grandson already ... if i stay with this woman is cause i love her and want to grow old with her, the 4 years i have already been with her have been amazing , and cause i was too stupid not to give her a child , well i will have to deal with that maybe its my turn to be selfish and have someone I want for a change... still very much confused though (this post made me upset) Link to post Share on other sites
Author bigsteve1966 Posted December 15, 2012 Author Share Posted December 15, 2012 I think either way she played dirty one of the things she said to me when we were talking about getting back together was " if i am pregnant for this guy i will regret it for the rest of my life cause i wanted it to be yours" she isnt mean or manipulating , she honestly tried to move on cause people told her she should, like my people told me to move on as well ...only difference is there with there spouses and there kids living there lives , and were both misrible Link to post Share on other sites
Author bigsteve1966 Posted December 15, 2012 Author Share Posted December 15, 2012 I'm sorry but your gf is 37 not an age people make childish mistakes. Also a women of 37 knows what to do to prevent pregancy. So why would you be okay with it now you are in your 40's and not when you where younger? im not ok with it. she isnt stupid she knew what she was doing she knew when to do it to have a child. i dont doubt that ..im trying not to blame her but one of my friends asked me a question 1. does she not accept your 4 kids from two different mothers ...? then why cant you accept her one.... damm smart friend eh....? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bigsteve1966 Posted December 15, 2012 Author Share Posted December 15, 2012 (edited) the final straw for her was her brothers wife who didnt want kids had one ...that just set her off ...she told me she hated me and she was never gonna see me again...actually she hated me for awhile, but i kept txt and calling her cause i never wanted her to leave after awhile even then i conceived defeat. i thought i had no chance of getting her back after that ...so to me i would have said "later" but not that case... Edited December 15, 2012 by bigsteve1966 Link to post Share on other sites
Nature Boy Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 Steve, it sounds like you are plan B. She said she hated you, deliberately went out and got preggers, then knowing how much you love her, she managed to convince you that all of this was your fault, and now wants to come back with baby-on-board. Where, in all of this, is her respect for you and love for you? I think that you are smitten by a much younger woman and will take her and baby back regardless of any advice you get to the contrary. I'm betting that as soon as you are married and she becomes you legal spouse, and are footing the bills, that all of this new-found amore will go south. Do what you want, but watch your back. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aed Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 (edited) the final straw for her was her brothers wife who didnt want kids had one ...that just set her off .. And you are okay with this nonsense? She knew what she was doing! getting pregnant in 4 months break and then going back (because she knew you would take her back) she told me she hated me and she was never gonna see me again...actually she hated me for awhile, but i kept txt and calling her cause i never wanted her to leave after awhile even then i conceived defeat. i thought i had no chance of getting her back after that ...so to me i would have said "later" but not that case... Steve you are being manipulated and I don't wont to sound judgemental but it looks to me you are dating a girl with a form of Borderline Personality Disorder. I don't think any man who is divorced and has childeren of his own, will have a problem that there partner is having childeren of their own. But in this case she cleary played you. I never said to anyone that I hated them (and I can't come up[ with anyone I hated). That are strong and hard things to say. You make it sound like this hole fiasco is al your fault. If she really would love you and respected you, she would have waited for the two of you where on the same page or just walked away. did she already tolled the OM that she is pregnant? Edited December 15, 2012 by aed Link to post Share on other sites
Author bigsteve1966 Posted December 15, 2012 Author Share Posted December 15, 2012 And you are okay with this nonsense? She knew what she was doing! getting pregnant in 4 months break and then going back (because she knew you would take her back) Steve you are being manipulated and I don't wont to sound judgemental but it looks to me you are dating a girl with a form of Borderline Personality Disorder. I don't think any man who is divorced and has childeren of his own, will have a problem that there partner is having childeren of their own. But in this case she cleary played you. I never said to anyone that I hated them (and I can't come up[ with anyone I hated). That are strong and hard things to say. You make it sound like this hole fiasco is al your fault. If she really would love you and respected you, she would have waited for the two of you where on the same page or just walked away. did she already tolled the OM that she is pregnant? this whole situtation it a mess, yes she told him she was pregnant , she only did the pee test at the Dr.s so far , i agree with you on the waiting part, well when she says she hated me it was more of a "you put me through hell ..." she cried almost everyday , she says she was depressed alot , now i wasnt just sitting at home waiting for her to come back i was doing my own thing as well ..but nothing serious. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 you oviously didnt read my blog, but made a comment anyways, thats ok like i said before im on here just to vent and get out frustration cause i cant talk really to anyboby about this,,,,,i might not have given her what she wanted right away cause i wanted to get married first before i got her pregnant , but no doubt we love each other, she isnt evil and i didnt string anybody along, cause if i stay with her im not just gonna live with her i will marry her and take care of the child. this isnt some Jerry Springer show, this is real life to me i am really hurt , sad and just really unhappy about the whole situation. i have 3 biological kids so im ok i feel like i have surved my purpose raised them and my oldest daughter even gave me a grandson already ... if i stay with this woman is cause i love her and want to grow old with her, the 4 years i have already been with her have been amazing , and cause i was too stupid not to give her a child , well i will have to deal with that maybe its my turn to be selfish and have someone I want for a change... still very much confused though (this post made me upset) This isn't a blog, it's an advice website, and actually I did read the whole thing before I posted. If you're going to continually contradict yourself and argue with anyone who disagrees with you then what's the point of posting here instead of just writing a diary? A diary won't talk back. As I said, you and this woman deserve each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bigsteve1966 Posted December 15, 2012 Author Share Posted December 15, 2012 This isn't a blog, it's an advice website, and actually I did read the whole thing before I posted. If you're going to continually contradict yourself and argue with anyone who disagrees with you then what's the point of posting here instead of just writing a diary? A diary won't talk back. As I said, you and this woman deserve each other. thank you for your opinion ... Link to post Share on other sites
Author bigsteve1966 Posted May 4, 2015 Author Share Posted May 4, 2015 Well Gang im back an its been 3 yrs since my dilemma and she had the child and we broke up , but she since left the guy and has asked if we could get back together ... Help !!! what would you do ..?? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 Well Gang im back an its been 3 yrs since my dilemma and she had the child and we broke up , but she since left the guy and has asked if we could get back together ... Help !!! what would you do ..?? Keep going forward and don't look back. She cheated on you and had a baby with another man. Don't forget that pain she put you through! And, you've healed and gone on with your life for 3 years already. Now that they've broken up she calls and wants you back?! RUN the other way and forget her. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bigsteve1966 Posted May 4, 2015 Author Share Posted May 4, 2015 she didnt cheat ... she left me cause she wanted to have kids ..which i couldnt give her ..i have 4 already , but there all grown but now she has alittle one and wants me back Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 What whichwayisup said: Run, run, run... She came looking for you because you are safe and secure - and could possibly help raise this child that you never wanted. Remember when she said she hated you? Why do you want this vitriol in your life? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bigsteve1966 Posted May 4, 2015 Author Share Posted May 4, 2015 The hate she was referring too was the pain of not having a child and seeing all her family and friends with kids , she did ask me alot for one but like i said medically i can not. all through the 3 yrs we broke up she would still call me and email me but i refused to talk to her ... all the time i still in my heart loved her ..i finally gave up and replied Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 Gave up? Nah, you've been holding that candle of so called love for her this entire time. How many break ups is this for you two? You both seem to call it off then get back together....You may want to address that issue. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bigsteve1966 Posted May 4, 2015 Author Share Posted May 4, 2015 when we were together , we never broke up once ... but when we did we tried but the baby thing was always a big issue .. funny thing is have tried to move on , i have always said im superman and she is my kryptonite Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 Why did they break up and how soon did she contact you after they split up? This is your life and if you can handle being step father to her child and start a life with her again, then take it slow and 'date' her. 3 years is a long time and neither of you are the exact same people as you were before. I apologize for my earlier response, I thought this was posted in the infidelity section now I see it was in the marriage section, so that is why I thought she had cheated on you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bigsteve1966 Posted May 4, 2015 Author Share Posted May 4, 2015 whichwayisup im here cause my friends think im crazy and i really have no one to talk to , so i appreciate good and bad advise .... she told me that its been 3 months since she left him , and she has repeatedly tried to contact me but i was trying to move on ..i refused to reply , but my heart is lonely and hurts so i finally gave in (i dated alot of women since the break up ..there just not her) my kids loved her and i was close to her family she just had that motherly time clock ticking Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 Are you prepared financially, logistically and emotionally to support a child for the next several decades? A child that's not yours and which could be taken from your life at any time? Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 Oh boy, she's looking for her provider. I'd stay broken up. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 The hate she was referring too was the pain of not having a child and seeing all her family and friends with kids , she did ask me alot for one but like i said medically i can not. all through the 3 yrs we broke up she would still call me and email me but i refused to talk to her ... all the time i still in my heart loved her ..i finally gave up and replied I don't blame her for what she did. I would not go without having a child for anyone and you had 4. Time was ticking on for her . If you still love her, give it a go. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 I personally think you should walk away. YOu have different priorities. Find someone who has the same priorties as you. There are plenty of single women your age who have older kids already and don't want more. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 whichwayisup im here cause my friends think im crazy and i really have no one to talk to , so i appreciate good and bad advise .... she told me that its been 3 months since she left him , and she has repeatedly tried to contact me but i was trying to move on ..i refused to reply , but my heart is lonely and hurts so i finally gave in (i dated alot of women since the break up ..there just not her) my kids loved her and i was close to her family she just had that motherly time clock ticking I think you're crazy to consider going back to her too! You're speaking out of loneliness here......I know that feeling....and I have gone back to relationships for a second or third go. They've never worked out for me. I think you probably will go back to her despite everyone telling you not to, until she IS out of your system......wishing you well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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