The other women Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 The same guy who I was the OW to is still lieing to me........ his gf left him about 10 weeks ago not because of me. She still doesnt know, hes given me her number so apparently I can ask her etc... to prove its over! I have not used the number and atm dont intend to. BUT he has me saved in his phone as 'steve carter' and he lied saying it said simon and was his ex wifes brother... which is weird anyway but today I found out that it deffinatly is my number, we've been doing so good recently so I dont understand I believe hes ashamed of me. His ex wifes (not the ex gf) family are apparently giving him a hard time about us so he denys it....... I need to bring up about me being saved as steve but how? Also im probably over thinking but out in public he acts like im his siter and not his gf (he's a bit shifty about the gf title aswell)....... id like someones opinions on where to go with a conversation and hwo to bring this up when he gets home.... lastly while his ex gf knows nothing about me or what went on I will be unable to fully trust him because effectivly he gotaway with cheating and if the opportuniy arose or has arisen he would see it that way and do the same to me...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author The other women Posted December 12, 2012 Author Share Posted December 12, 2012 lastly while his ex gf knows nothing about me or what went on I will be unable to fully trust him because effectivly he gotaway with cheating and if the opportuniy arose or has arisen he would see it that way and do the same to me...... I have her number and ability to tell her, I believe she has a right to know and I do feel guilty, but it isnt my place to tell her despite him giving me permission....... im stumped Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 If you're with a man who you feel is dishonest, who you feel will cheat on you, who is ashamed of you, who has your name saved as a man's name in his phone, who treats you like his sister in pubic, whose family doesn't like you....not sure exactly where this could potentially blossom into a great relationship. It's too much drama. The focus on trying to get "the truth" is a big distraction and waste of time. What truth are you attempting to get? You don't need to know why he's doing this...you just need to know, he IS! You need to make your decision about this "relationship" and have your own standards that you abide by. If a man were treating me this way, I'd END it! Why do I need to investigate "the truth"? I don't. If ALL that you said is happening were happening---we're done! There isn't anything to talk about...finding "the truth" is really a way for you to stick around in this mess and stalling from coming to your own independent decision. What truth could you possibly find that would make any or all of this okay? Please think about that and then think about if this "truth" really matters or if anyway you slice it, this isn't the best or last relationship in the world, so you can just count your losses and move on to a man who isn't cheating, who isn't denying you, saving your name as a man's, who you don't have to constantly post about on a forum etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author The other women Posted December 12, 2012 Author Share Posted December 12, 2012 It isnt his family its his ex wifes and I havnt met his family I know them for other reasons but hes never introduced me..... I think im just trying to find a reason for it to be ok, its not really the truth about why but the truth whether hes doing it or its in my head 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 It isnt his family its his ex wifes and I havnt met his family I know them for other reasons but hes never introduced me..... I think im just trying to find a reason for it to be ok, its not really the truth about why but the truth whether hes doing it or its in my head You are trying to rationalize something that is very difficult to rationalize. Your guy is a POS, but you stay attached. Why? Link to post Share on other sites
buckeyeblue Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 When will you get the truth? NEVER. He has told thousands of lies to his gf, his family, his friends, and even himself. Please stop disrespecting yourself and find a more honorable option. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 (edited) It isnt his family its his ex wifes and I havnt met his family I know them for other reasons but hes never introduced me..... I think im just trying to find a reason for it to be ok, its not really the truth about why but the truth whether hes doing it or its in my head At least you know... Please hold on to this truth. You KNOW it's not okay and no reason he gives you will render it okay. Why do you so want to find a way to stay? Why are you scared to walk away? It's best to end it now and deal with whatever hurt and disappointment you feel now than to continue on and have what you KNEW all along come to pass...that he ends up cheating on you or never makes you legitimate. You deserve A LOT more than he's offering and hopefully you don't make the mistake lots of women make, which is to believe the more time she invests and attempts to squeeze a decent relationship out of a effed up one, it will somehow be all she's ever hoped for. It's a HUGE waste of time. Walk while you still can. Edited December 12, 2012 by MissBee Link to post Share on other sites
cocorico Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 The same guy who I was the OW to is still lieing to me........ his gf left him about 10 weeks ago not because of me. She still doesnt know, hes given me her number so apparently I can ask her etc... to prove its over! I have not used the number and atm dont intend to. BUT he has me saved in his phone as 'steve carter' and he lied saying it said simon and was his ex wifes brother... which is weird anyway but today I found out that it deffinatly is my number, we've been doing so good recently so I dont understand I believe hes ashamed of me. His ex wifes (not the ex gf) family are apparently giving him a hard time about us so he denys it....... I need to bring up about me being saved as steve but how? Also im probably over thinking but out in public he acts like im his siter and not his gf (he's a bit shifty about the gf title aswell)....... id like someones opinions on where to go with a conversation and hwo to bring this up when he gets home.... lastly while his ex gf knows nothing about me or what went on I will be unable to fully trust him because effectivly he gotaway with cheating and if the opportuniy arose or has arisen he would see it that way and do the same to me...... If you feel you are unable to trust him fully, you will not be able to sustain a R. If you find it difficult to confront your suspicions, communication is not really open and honest. If you are really worried about the name he has saved your number against on his phone (and what this signifies) you should be able to ask him to pass you his phone so you could check, and he should be happy to show you. If you feel you cannot ask, or he is unwilling to show you, then there are deeper issues there and I would seriously reconsider whether a R is really worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveTKO Posted December 12, 2012 Share Posted December 12, 2012 The same guy who I was the OW to is still lieing to me........ his gf left him about 10 weeks ago not because of me. She still doesnt know, hes given me her number so apparently I can ask her etc... to prove its over! I have not used the number and atm dont intend to. BUT he has me saved in his phone as 'steve carter' and he lied saying it said simon and was his ex wifes brother... which is weird anyway but today I found out that it deffinatly is my number, we've been doing so good recently so I dont understand I believe hes ashamed of me. His ex wifes (not the ex gf) family are apparently giving him a hard time about us so he denys it....... I need to bring up about me being saved as steve but how? Also im probably over thinking but out in public he acts like im his siter and not his gf (he's a bit shifty about the gf title aswell)....... id like someones opinions on where to go with a conversation and hwo to bring this up when he gets home.... lastly while his ex gf knows nothing about me or what went on I will be unable to fully trust him because effectivly he gotaway with cheating and if the opportuniy arose or has arisen he would see it that way and do the same to me...... In case you're not aware of it, relationships should not be that complicated. Why are you such a masochist? Do you like to suffer constantly fighting off obsessive thoughts about this individual? I don't get it....there's not one positive thing in your post. It doesn't sound like it's going anywhere, so cut your losses and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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