Ex being weird again...Please help

[Jai]

Well here we go...I had a relationship with my ex for 6 years. It was a very good relationship.....but you know how these end. Anyways due to some outside interference I was put on the shelf. Now for my Story and hopefully someone can give me some insite.

 

I was on MSN messenger yesterday when my ex came on-line. I said hi to her and we started a convo and seeming that for the last month and a bit we haven't been getting along I figured that was a good start. We were laughing and carrying on talking about school and work.

 

Then she asks me if I have any prospects. She really caught me off-guard. I told her that I don't wish to discuss this with her as I was not comfortable enough speaking of this with her. Well she asked me the same question in 20 different ways after that until I told her to Stop it. She tells me she wants to know if I have moved on so she won't feel guilty anymore because she found a new man. At the end of the convo she said tell me or I won't talk to you so I said bye.

 

WTF???? I know that personally if I broke up with someone and said it was over I would not be asking questions about their personal life. Why do you think she wants to know. Also when I speak to her she sounds bummed out all the time. I don't think things are going well for her and her new man. I on the other hand can not move on right now because I don't have an open heart and can't 100% give myself to someone else so I have been taking time to write music and get ahead at work and school. Does it seem like she is starting to reconsider things.

 

Please Help....

 

 

Peace,

 

Jai

[EC]

Maybe not reconsider but I think she just wants to know if you've moved on.

 

I think that she still has feelings and wants to know if you've moved on already so that she can have a reason to move on.

 

When she asked you 20 different ways did you ask why do you want to know?

[Jai]

Hi Eternal,

 

I asked why she asked so much and why she was so demanding about it. She really didn't have an answer but said at one point that she feels guilty and if I had found someone else she would feel better. I told her if it made her feel any better that I was alright. She is acting strangely though.....for the longest time she wouldn't ever answer her phone when I called but yesterday she answered twice when I called. I think that maybe she does want to come back but doesn't know how I am going to react to it so she is staying distant. I can tell she is not happy right now as she always has to tell everyone that she is so happy. What was funny was that when I asked her how she was she said ok and then said good right after. Maybe I am over analyzing it a bit but in my experience when a relationship ended the dumper just got up and left and never talked to me again. This is weird because she still wants to talk. I think that this other guy was pushing to much during a low period in our relationship where we weren't seeing eachother so much and because she was lonely she went in that direction. I have two jobs because I was saving to buy her engagement ring. Should I try to talk to her about this or should I just leave it alone? More advise if possible. You guys on LS are great.

 

Thanks for all the help,

 

Jai

[EC]

Do you want to return to a relationship with her?

 

I think you've analyzed the situation correctly. If you guys were at a low and he was there and you were not she probably did feel lonely and went with him and now she is regretting it.

 

I think she's testing the waters with you. She's giving you little hints here and there that she's not happy and that she wants to bring it up but wants to know how you are going to react. She wants to know if your with anyone and if your happy or not to see if she should say anything about how she's feeling.

 

I say lay low for a while. Play the friend thing just to make sure you know what she wants and to prevent you from getting hurt again.

But I also believe life is short so if you love this girl and you think there's a chance next time you talk to her tell her the truth.

Tell her your not with anyone at the moment because you are still dealing with the break up and you are focusing on you right now. Se what she says about that. But even still be cautious. She did dump you before so you can't know what she's thinking exactly so be careful.