"Hey Little Girl, Would You Like Some Candy?" (update)

[Eternal Sunshine]

Eh each to their own. Most guys in early 30s that I have dated, have their lower age limit at 25 on dating sites. When I asked them about it, they just said they have no patience for immature girls.

 

I also have friends same age that are obsessed with youth and won't date a girl OVER 25. Generally, their personality is like over grown teenagers. I have zero interest in them and they have zero interest in me. Works for everyone

[Carenth]

I'm 25 and won't date anyone under 21 (that's my absolute minimum) even then I'm sort of iffy, maturity level in general for girls I've dated in that age bracket and younger is almost non existent they are still like children to me. I know very well there is exceptions to the rule but I rather not risk it anymore, I have no patience for it.

 

My girlfriend just turned 25 and I'm about to turn 26.

[Drseussgrrl]

There is a guy in my group of friends aged 38 who has been notorious for dating much younger women. He happens to be loaded and has always relied on that to reel 'em in with trips, fancy dinners, you name it. Of course it's always short-lived as inevitably there is nothing in common and the basis for a relationship is non-existent.

 

He has become the butt of jokes and women he could be compatible with don't take him seriously because of his "Hugh Hefner" reputation, and frankly yes most people consider him a creep.

 

Sad, too, because he's getting older and his pick of women is starting to diminish and I predict he'll end up alone, in his forties, with a beer gut and nothing but his money to keep him company.

[Divasu]

Oh? I guess I read wrong. I thought he was 32 and she was 28.

 

Oh if he's 38 and she's 28 yeah. Not a fan.

 

Although 38/28 is a lot closer maturity wise than 32/22, so that's good.

 

Based on this, OP ---> will you be wearing a hair piece on your date?

 

[Imajerk17]

The "critics" here make me chuckle. My own feeling is whatever makes you happy and as long as you aren't hurting anyone...

 

There are older women on here who found happiness with guys much younger. I think it is awesome. They were looking for someone whom they are attracted to AND who is mature and intentional, and they found it in their guy.

 

I understand completely where they are coming from because I'm coming from the same place. I want someone I am physically attracted to who is smart, mature, AND non-flaky, and I just might find that in a girl in her 20's. (Maturity has less to do with age than people think. I've met flakes in their 30's and 40's.)

 

There are dudes who gained a lot of insight from the PUA Community. They got a lot of flak for that but I can see exactly why they went that way. As long as they treat the women they come in contact with well, then good for them.

 

There are women who "got work done". I'm sure they get flak for that from some quarters, but I think it is perfectly fine. We men can be shallow creatures and looks are what we notice. And whether we like to admit it or not, everyone wants to look good naked. Why not do whatever you can to make it happen.

 

Anyway, too bad about the critics but it is what it is.

Edited December 13, 2012 by Imajerk17

[Divasu]

The "critics" here make me chuckle. My own feeling is whatever makes you happy and as long as you aren't hurting anyone...

 

There are older women on here who found happiness with guys much younger. I think it is awesome. They were looking for someone whom they are attracted to AND who is mature and intentional, and they found it in their guy. (Maturity has less to do with age than people think. I've met flakes in their 30's.)

 

There are dudes who gained a lot of insight from the PUA Community. They got a lot of flak for that but I can see exactly why they went that way. As long as they treat the women they come in contact with well, then good for them.

 

There are women who "got work done". I'm sure they get flak for that from some quarters, but I think it is perfectly fine. We men can be shallow creatures and looks are what we notice. And whether we like to admit it or not, everyone wants to look good naked. Why not do whatever you can to make it happen.

 

Anyway, too bad about the critics but it is what it is.

 

Ohhh I was just tickling you.

 

Good luck and have fun on your date.

[Lonely Ronin]

The issue isn't so much the age difference, it's that some people feel the need to trumpet that they scored a member of the opposite sex that's X years younger than them. People who do this seem to normally fall into two groups.

 

1. Ego trippers

2. manipulators

 

Neither of which is a good thing to be.

[Imajerk17]

Ohhh I was just tickling you.

 

Good luck and have fun on your date.

 

I wasn't referring to you!

 

Anyway, thanks....

[yessy21]

bring out the handcuffs and the registration!

[Drseussgrrl]

I don't think "flaking" has anything to do with maturity. It simply means that person isn't interested.

 

I suppose you could say people "flake" all the time with online dating. You email a few times, sometimes the other person drops off, etc. It's whatever. I don't take it personally when people do it to me, especially if we've never even met in person. On to the next.

 

Now if I've been out with someone a few times and I'm not feeling it, then yes, I will just explain that I'm not sensing a connection and wish them luck. Does that make me a flake?

 

I suppose this could spawn a whole new thread of its own.

[Feelin Frisky]

Hey little girl, I know you don't know me by your mom was busy and asked me to pick you up from school.....and, I got candy *drool drips from fangs*

[MrCastle]

I don't think "flaking" has anything to do with maturity. It simply means that person isn't interested.

 

LOL What?

 

Flaking is absolutely a measure of maturity.

 

Mature people don't flake; they either 1.) never agree to go out if they have no interest or 2.) if they have a legit reason for not showing up, they notify the other person at the earliest possible time, apologize, and offer a make up date.

[Imajerk17]

I don't think "flaking" has anything to do with maturity. It simply means that person isn't interested.

 

I suppose you could say people "flake" all the time with online dating. You email a few times, sometimes the other person drops off, etc. It's whatever. I don't take it personally when people do it to me, especially if we've never even met in person. On to the next.

 

Now if I've been out with someone a few times and I'm not feeling it, then yes, I will just explain that I'm not sensing a connection and wish them luck. Does that make me a flake?

 

I suppose this could spawn a whole new thread of its own.

 

I'm not sure what this has to do with the topic or any other post here, but thanks for sharing.

 

If anything, this post, written by a woman in her 30s, demonstrates my point. There are (A) women in their 20s who are straightforward in their communication and honest right from the beginning, and (B) women in their 30s who are not and who rationalize it.

 

I would rather date (A).

Edited December 13, 2012 by Imajerk17

[MrCastle]

I'm not sure what this has to do with the topic or any other post here, but thanks for sharing.

 

If anything, this post, written by a woman in her 30s, demonstrates my point. There are (A) women in their 20s who are straightforward in their communication and honest right from the beginning, and (B) women in their 30s who are not and who rationalize it.

 

I would rather date (A).

 

I'd rather date A too but A doesn't exist, typically.

 

Don't think I've ever had a conversation with a 20 year old or any kind of interaction with a 20 year old and walked away saying "man, what a mature young woman".

[Drseussgrrl]

LOL What?

 

Flaking is absolutely a measure of maturity.

 

Mature people don't flake; they either 1.) never agree to go out if they have no interest or 2.) if they have a legit reason for not showing up, they notify the other person at the earliest possible time, apologize, and offer a make up date.

 

Right. I'm not talking about bailing on a confirmed date. Would never do that. I'm talking about a dropoff in communication online.

 

Happens all the time.

[Eternal Sunshine]

It's not the age difference that's so much of a problem. It's the way you went about it.

 

You posted a thread titled "I picked up a 22 yea old!". If that's not bragging, I don't know what is. It's like a trophy, meaning you are da man (in your own head anyway). I am sure the girl wouldn't be too pleased if she read that she has been reduced to a number.

 

Now, if you have phrased it differently; something like: "I met this girl that I am really attracted to do. I am not sure if we will have that much in common given the age difference, but I want to give it a shot anyway."

 

I am sure people would be a lot more positive...

[Imajerk17]

It's not the age difference that's so much of a problem. It's the way you went about it.

 

You posted a thread titled "I picked up a 22 yea old!". If that's not bragging, I don't know what is. It's like a trophy, meaning you are da man (in your own head anyway). I am sure the girl wouldn't be too pleased if she read that she has been reduced to a number.

 

Now, if you have phrased it differently; something like: "I met this girl that I am really attracted to do. I am not sure if we will have that much in common given the age difference, but I want to give it a shot anyway."

 

I am sure people would be a lot more positive...

 

You have a good point there ES.

[TheBigQuestion]

It's not the age difference that's so much of a problem. It's the way you went about it.

 

You posted a thread titled "I picked up a 22 yea old!". If that's not bragging, I don't know what is. It's like a trophy, meaning you are da man (in your own head anyway). I am sure the girl wouldn't be too pleased if she read that she has been reduced to a number.

 

Now, if you have phrased it differently; something like: "I met this girl that I am really attracted to do. I am not sure if we will have that much in common given the age difference, but I want to give it a shot anyway."

 

I am sure people would be a lot more positive...

 

No... for many posters here, the (now much less pronounced) age difference was "much of a problem" and becomes a problem no matter how the male poster discussing it words the topic.

 

Imajerk can speak for himself of course, but when I read his initial thread, I wasn't under the impression that he intended to brag. I was under the impression that he was challenging what many posters here say about age differences, i.e. that a guy his age hardly EVER gets with women in their early 20s, and that if he does, he's a predator of some sort. When you don't take into context where the thread was posted, then yes, I agree that Imajerk was bragging. LoveShack, however, is not a vacuum.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

The issue isn't so much the age difference, it's that some people feel the need to trumpet that they scored a member of the opposite sex that's X years younger than them. People who do this seem to normally fall into two groups.

 

1. Ego trippers

2. manipulators

 

Neither of which is a good thing to be.

 

This exactly. It isn't the age differences that gets me. I certainly don't believe everyone should only date someone their own age. However, the reason that there are a lot more older men dating younger women is because of the way women and men are conditioned to value women and men. Men are told they are *better* as they get older. Women are told they are *worse*. This has very little to do with truth and reality but as more to do with something that was set up a long time ago in the world.

 

So it's not the age difference, it's the mentality sometimes behind the desire for age different relationships. Such as thinking younger women are better. This isn't even a good thing for a younger woman who will one day be older. It's the bragging and the back slapping and high-fiving amoung alot of men that think they have accomplished something by being with a younger woman. You even see that somewhat around here with some of the men that post here.

 

But guess what? If you are dating a younger person, you're aren't better. You didn't accomplish anything. And that younger person says absoluetly nothing about *you*. Dating a younger person does not make you a more attractive, better person. Same goes for someone that is dating someone with a lot of money. Someone dating someone with a lot of money didn't accomplish anything. They are not a better person.

 

Too many men misguidingly place their value in how the world judges their partners. They too often try to gain their worth through the value of their partners looks. Too many men think that a young, hot gf/wife makes them more of a man. It's because these men have yet to define what masculinity really means for them and how to accomplish that independently from approval of others.

 

 

P.S. Despite years of dating many older men, current boyfriend is younger then myself..... athough I think he is more mature then me in *some* areas. ........ *Some*.

[joystickd]

I actually prefer women older than me. I find them to be someone I could enjoy long conversations with. I come across women younger than me and its like lets have sex all the time so I can avoid having an actual normal conversation with me.