Sleezy guys with girlfriends

[Leigh 87]

This is so gross.

 

Girls, what are your strategies for fending off men who try to score with you, when you have a boyfriend?

 

And also: should my boyfriend TELL this guys girlfriend? My bf is good friends with her. I feel sorry for her, she deserves to be set free to find a guy who is really into her.

 

Here's what happened..

 

Well, it happened again a couple of weekends ago! Some rich dude who works in the mines and has a lot of money came onto me, when my boyfriend was there!

He was not part of the group or good friends with anyone at the party; I think he just knew someone there and got a lift with them.

People who are long term mates with my bf KNOW he is with me. It is common knowledge we are in a serious relationship.

 

At first when the guy started talking to me, I was happy I had found a person at the party to be my "talking partner". You know, everyone is talking to other people and no one is that talkative and you feel like just talking to someone.

My boyfriend was there, so I assumed he would not be retarded enough try anything on me. Well, soon our conversation turned to him saying things like:

 

" your the ideal girl for me"

 

" I have not been able to take my eyes off you all night"

 

" I have been following you around like an idiot"

 

" where have you been all my life"

 

" I know we are both with people, but.... What do you think of this situation"

 

" wow, your body is amazing"

 

" I can barly control myself around you, I would do so many things to you"

 

:sick::sick: I politely stopped talking to him after those last words were exchanged, told someone about it, and asked her to hang with me for a second.

 

I did not want to tell my boyfriend, as he was drunk and... I did not want to start any fights.

I thought the best course of action was to just stop hanging around him at all, and tell my boyfriend when he was sober.

I did, however, tell his best friend, so he knew what was going on. I told him I was uncomfortable. He thought pretty lowly of the guy for it.

 

MY problem is: I do not think I am that good looking really, and feel sort of... full of myself when I think about saying things like " I have a boyfriend, this is innappropriate"

Instead, I just kept saying " your off your face on drink/drugs, you don't mean all this, calm down". And then kept chatting to him, until he got too much.

 

I gave him the wrong message, because I continued to talk to him after he expressed interest, when I really should have walked away and politely excused myself the minute it was clear he was interested in me.

Next time, I know not to make this mistake.

 

 

Seriously though; I asked him about his girlfriend, and I said " why are you with the poor girl, if you get so into another girl" (me) so easily?

 

I said "surely you should find a girl who you DO feel this way about (the way he felt about me"

 

He just said " well, ya know.. I just got what I could at the time..." (:sick:)

 

I felt like telling him to drop her and let the poor girl find a girl who WAS crazy about her!

 

 

 

............. I know it is NOT my boyfriends place to tell his girlfriend, but I feel so sorry for her!

[Leigh 87]

The reason I do NOT want my boyfriend to tell his girlfriend, is because this has happened to me before, unfortunately.

Even worse, it was two of his " good friends" have made moves on me.

 

In both cases, the guys LIED about making a move or initating anything with me.

One of the guy and his ex girlfriend abused me, saying I was way too ugly for him to consider going anywherenear me.

They abused me very badly over it.

I do not want to deal with ANOTHER guy abusing me, calling me a liar, and saying I am way too ugly for him to go near.

 

I WISH his girlfriend knew that she is better off leaving this guy, and finding a guy who is crazy about her.

This current guy who made a move on me is good looking and rich, and fun. But I wish he would just hold out for the right girl, rather than settling for chicks he is not into. *sigh*

[Vercetti]

Do not waste your time with these people. I have a foul ex from about 15 years ago, she propositioned me recently and I ignored her. The thought went through my mind to contact the guy is with and drop a line " Unless you are in open relationship look out." Only lets be honest, they never listen and can't see it for themselves till to late.

 

Know the fact you don't think you look good is like blood in the water for sharks. Hence this rich ass striking a conversation with you as you were standing around like a wallflower.

 

Last thing you need to do is feel sorry for this guy settling for girls, if he was settling he wouldn't be going after everything with two legs he makes contact with ( plus that's just some BS he tossed your way when chatting you up ).

 

Would not advise you to tell your boyfriend to talk to the girl. Do you think pointing out a distressed girl for your boyfriend to go save is a good idea? That could backfire awful.

 

As for fending off unwelcome advances, my wife has a CC. No guy should be telling you what he wants to do with you after just walking up to you, inform them you're a lady and they can go screw themselves.

[Radu]

Sounds like with every phrase he was trying to achieve foot-in-mouth. o.0

[Leigh 87]

Well I was at a gathering and guess who was right there when my boyfriend and I walked in; the dude who made a move on me, and his girlfriend.

 

His girlfriend was really nice; easy to talk to, friendly.....

 

Of course, I recommended Andrew, my bf, to now tell anyone. It is just better that way, to not get involved un others business. Besides, the guy may just lie to his g/f, making her think I am some jealous b*tch making everything up!

 

Andrew was mad, but it was the after party of a wedding, therefore he did not want to start anything.

 

It was so akward when Andrew and I walked up, as the guy and his g/f were just standing right there. The guy had the audacity to say "so... do you remember last weekend"?"

 

I just said " no... I was too drunk/out of it haha...."( I just wanteds to avoid any issues, since hsi girlfriend was literally standing there and listening!)

 

I take responsibility too; I should have walked away once I heard what the guy was saying; in fact, I should straight away walk away from any guy who would willingly have sex with me, when he knows I have a boyfriend who is right there (and who has a girlfriend!)

 

Of course, I am not a bad person for what I did, as I had ZERO intention to cheat on my bf... However, I should have just walked away from the guy who was being inappropriate)

[Radu]

Leigh, are you worried that your bf won't believe you because in the past others have hit on you ?

 

I'm trying to figure out if this feeling/worry has contributed to you making this thread.

[road]

Well I was at a gathering and guess who was right there when my boyfriend and I walked in; the dude who made a move on me, and his girlfriend.

 

 

It was so akward when Andrew and I walked up, as the guy and his g/f were just standing right there. The guy had the audacity to say "so... do you remember last weekend"?"

 

I just said " no... I was too drunk/out of it haha...."( I just wanteds to avoid any issues, since hsi girlfriend was literally standing there and listening!)

 

I take responsibility too

 

First mistake as soon as the low life made the first remark at the first party you should of gotten up and found you BF and told him what that guy did and then left the party and then have NC witht the OM for the rest of your lives.

 

Tell your BF so he knows the OM is his enemy. There is a wolf in BS's hen house and you refuse to tell BF.

 

NC for the both of you so that meant you would not go to the wedding. This would of prevented the last run in with the OM. Also you were wrong to lie then. All this showed the OM that appeared weak and he will try again to get into your pants.

 

Also by telling the bride and groom why you were not attending their wedding now let them know why that what low life OM is. This is how people help each other to keep predators away.

 

Now if they did not univite the OM then they showed that they are not the kind of people that you want for friends.

[Leigh 87]

We were not invited to the wedding.

 

We were on his boat, and decided to stop by the after party to the wedding (since his good friends were there, and we were just close by)

 

To our horror, as soon as we walked into the area where people were, there was a small group left, with the dude and his girlfriend.

 

I know next time what NOT to do.

 

Hopefully there will not be a next time, but I doubt it somehow.

[road]

I know next time what NOT to do.

 

Hopefully there will not be a next time, but I doubt it somehow.

 

 

No you don't.

 

Still making excuses.

 

You need to tell your BF.

 

You need to tell your friends about what OM did and that you want NC for you and BF. They invite OM don't invite us. Invite us don't invite OM. If I was a guy in that group of friends I would want a heads up about the OM being a predator.

[Leigh 87]

No you don't.

 

Still making excuses.

 

You need to tell your BF.

 

You need to tell your friends about what OM did and that you want NC for you and BF. They invite OM don't invite us. Invite us don't invite OM. If I was a guy in that group of friends I would want a heads up about the OM being a predator.

 

 

 

 

Look, I have no intention of cheating, no other guys compare to my partner. I would rather be single, than be with a guy who did not blow my mind in terms of happiness he adds to my life.

 

I know what I did was not the "right* way to handle the situation, but I never flirted intentionally (beyond being myself, which is nice and talkative)

 

And I did tell his friends. Sort of.

 

When it was all happening that night, I went intot he room where the house owner (and also my bfs best ffriend) and a bunch of guys were..... and I said:

 

"That guy is blatantly saying he wants to be with me, and saying sexual things to me, following me around, and making it very clear that he would have sex with me in a heartbeat, even though my boyfriend is right here!!!!!!!!!"

 

I also told the only other girl there: I said "look, I am a little uncomfortable about that guy, can we just hang out for a while and sit away from the guy and ignore him"

 

 

Trust me, there is no way I am going to keep on chatting to dudes once they make it known they would love to have sex with me, when my partner is right there...

 

This has happened before, and I truly feek I have learnt my lesson; I am a naturally nice and warm person, and tend to be too friendly to just tell guys to f*ck off.

 

I will still not like to tell them to go away in anasty way, rather I can see myself saying something like "my boyfriend is here, I am going to hang out with him, have a ncie night"

[Mme. Chaucer]

This whole thing is a ridiculous waste of time and energy. If a sleazy guy is inappropriate with you, turn your back on him and walk away. If you feel you need to tell your boyfriend, do so. End of story.

[Leigh 87]

This whole thing is a ridiculous waste of time and energy. If a sleazy guy is inappropriate with you, turn your back on him and walk away. If you feel you need to tell your boyfriend, do so. End of story.

 

 

 

Agreed, but it sort of blows my mind that so many girls out there are with guys who are LIKE that.

 

I mean............ just:sick:

 

Some people are just useless lol. Too mean or stupid, OR lazy to just wait for a girl they are into. Hence why they lie and cheat and try to get with girls they do like.

[todreaminblue]

ill simply leave...i don't hang with guys that make me uncomfortable.....ill give you a scenario...my ex had thsi friend...eh was a real pig....i didnt like him he was rude to me the majority of the time calling me square, snob brainiac....etc.....he was a pot smoker so i didnt hold stock to him calling me names......he was however manipulative and extremely snakey.....

 

 

he hit on me i stopped going to his place with my ex.....and when i did when i avoided him every opportunity...he was in my exes ear saying why would you go out with fat retard.....you can do so much better she is up herself..and my ex started a cheatign regime with him in tow............

 

 

.i wasnt fat back then i was pretty curvy and i am always and have always been a goof, but it just goes to show...i doubt my ex would have listened to me because he treated me like crap while hanging around with this guy...i didnt tell my ex till much later when we had moved interstate...they guy was a letch...wouldnt have mattered what i said or did ...silence was the best way......and avoidance.....i dont hang with guys when i know what they are after and its not for them...i also dont start fights...if it happened again and i was in a relationship if the guy knew me well enough he would know if i avoid a male4 and i mean actively ...its probably because they tried somemthing......i couldnt handle a guy fighting for me.....or getting hit for m e......it would upset me...now if a guy comes onto me i am nto in a relationship i woudl adopt a fairly strong standpoint...most guys know i am single....adn that stand is im nto out for sex ill eb yoru friend....if they continue...ill have to kick box their ass myself.......ok.....i threaten....;0) most know i have done kickboxing and i dont take crap so i really dont get messed with too much....i wish you luck i suggest you simply stay away ........deb

[Leigh 87]

Thanks for sharing Deb,

 

I too disliked confrontation. Both your ex and his friend sound like morons (nasty morons at that!). My boyfriend had a few nasty friends, who are now not his friends. He may not see it, but I did him a favour, making him realise they were nasty people

 

Those two friends of his who called me ugly, stupid, and not good enough for Andrew are no longer in his life. A very good thing I have done for him.

 

It looks like your ex was a wanker too, and was the sake sort of person his mates were. I am sorry you went through that, at least you have your dignity intact and have learnt not to waste your time on guys who are not really into you.

 

There is an ""end of world"party tomorrow night, more people are going then ever before, it is for his mates b day. I doubt anyone will try anything, but you never know.....LOts of drugs and totally drunk people all around me.

[Leigh 87]

At the party on the 21st, the guy and his girlfriend were there....

 

My boyfriend ended up telling her what happened.

 

I was worried she would be angry - but she was totally fine with me, and simply said " it's all good, I will just keep more of an eye on him from now on"

 

She was really friendly still and did not appear annoyed at my at all. She probably went home and cried though. Or maybe she does really think that "oh well, my boyfriend would have happily hooked up with another girl but sh*t happens, we will get through it if I keep an eye out on him"

 

Sorry, it is just if any partner tried to do that to me, I would not bother trying to *work it out*... Because you know, there are guys out there who would not want to do that to me... I think it is worth the short term pain of a break up, in order to find a guy who wont want to cheat.

 

Another interesting thing happened; the guy apoligized to my boyfriend. He said he was an idiot and he was really sorry, and just wants to be on friendly terms when they see one another.

 

At least everyone is on good terms now. I am so thankfull!

[todreaminblue]

At the party on the 21st, the guy and his girlfriend were there....

 

My boyfriend ended up telling her what happened.

 

I was worried she would be angry - but she was totally fine with me, and simply said " it's all good, I will just keep more of an eye on him from now on"

 

She was really friendly still and did not appear annoyed at my at all. She probably went home and cried though. Or maybe she does really think that "oh well, my boyfriend would have happily hooked up with another girl but sh*t happens, we will get through it if I keep an eye out on him"

 

Sorry, it is just if any partner tried to do that to me, I would not bother trying to *work it out*... Because you know, there are guys out there who would not want to do that to me... I think it is worth the short term pain of a break up, in order to find a guy who wont want to cheat.

 

Another interesting thing happened; the guy apoligized to my boyfriend. He said he was an idiot and he was really sorry, and just wants to be on friendly terms when they see one another.

 

At least everyone is on good terms now. I am so thankfull!

 

I am glad it worked out for you leigh, I felt uncomfortable reading your post as I know it is hard to handle people who dont give up, when you are in a relationship it should be a no go zone fro all males.They should have respect for the man at least if not the woman.This scenario comes to mind one hand patting the guys shoulder while the other hand reaches around to squeeze the wife.....its symbolic only but shows a real two facedness.I wont stand for a boyfriend or partner of mine to be disrespected in such a manner...I ultimately hold disrespect for the one who is disrespecting, I would rather not hang with people that make me feel that way...glad it worked out right for you.....

 

 

my ex wasnt a wanker he was however a drug user at the time and a nasty drunk.I notice with your post.....guess what is involved.The same and more of the same.Nasty disgustign behavior is paramount with these activities.It will always happen ...anyway just had one of the nice guys turn up at my house so going to go have a chat and few laughs....toodles...stay sane and glad it settled into nothing......deb

[Leigh 87]

Thanks Deb.

 

My bf was never phased about it anyway; he just does not feel threatened at all by other guys making moves, he just does not have that ""feeling"" that I could do that to him (cheat).

 

Because there was never any real threat there and he trusts me, it was never a big issue for him, he just thought the guy was an idiot and that's it.... Although he did think a little more of him after he apologised...