beenburned Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 I have read several WS's say the best sex was with the OW/OM. I am curious about what made the sex better? Looking back with hindsight(if affair is over), do you now feel it was the affair situation that caused this reaction, or the OW/OM themselves? Feel free to be honest with your answers, as I truly want to know!
BetrayedH Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Besides it being a new person, I think a big part of it is that the APs can be completely uninhibited. This isn't someone that's going to meet their parents or their friends, there are no other life issues to worry about negotiating with them, it isn't permanent, in fact it is supposed to be temporary, they can't tell anyone how crazy I was in bed - so I am just going to go for whatever crazy fantasy fulfillment I can while I have the chance. Combine this with the other AP thinking the same things and the ole spouse at home hasn't got a chance (especially when they don't know they're in a competition). This, best sex ever. "They must be my soulmate; now that I think about it, I'm not sure I ever did love my spouse." My $.02 anyway. 2
Realist3 Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 The lack of inhibitions on both sides certainly plays a large part; we do things we have never done with our spouses. Secondly, my MOW is exceedingly athletic; her strength, stamina, and flexibility are borderline freakish, which provides for a lot of very interesting love making sessions.
Furious Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 The lack of inhibitions on both sides certainly plays a large part; we do things we have never done with our spouses. Secondly, my MOW is exceedingly athletic; her strength, stamina, and flexibility are borderline freakish, which provides for a lot of very interesting love making sessions. And yet your OW's husband cheats on her.
Author beenburned Posted December 15, 2012 Author Posted December 15, 2012 Realist, Why would you not try the same moves with your wife? Why do you feel the need to be sexually inhibited with your wife?
Realist3 Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 And yet your OW's husband cheats on her. He is not at her physical ability level. And I doubt he cheats on her because of her sexual abilities, it is because she hates his guts. 1
Realist3 Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Realist, Why would you not try the same moves with your wife? Why do you feel the need to be sexually inhibited with your wife? Because my wife is very conservative in bed. I have asked, and just says she is not comfortable with that, so I don't push it. She also climaxes very quickly, 3-5 minutes, so our sessions are very quick.
Author beenburned Posted December 15, 2012 Author Posted December 15, 2012 Realist, Now that your wife as agreed to an open marriage, why limit yourself to just one woman? Why would your AP stay with a H that she hates?
Furious Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Because my wife is very conservative in bed. I have asked, and just says she is not comfortable with that, so I don't push it. She also climaxes very quickly, 3-5 minutes, so our sessions are very quick. Perhaps your wife is conservative only with you but perhaps she'll be a little wilder with someone else, just like you are with your OW. I would guess your OW's husband would never imagine the things she does with you. I'd bet her husband if asked would describe his wife as conservative in bed and that's partly why he cheats on her. Ironic isn't it:D 1
2sure Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 I really really hate to say this. Affair sex is the best sex I've ever had. Multiple reasons. Some pertain to me specifically , but the rest are obvious. I was not in love with any MM , not invested in any hopes or dreams of a future. I'm very open minded sexually, but I'll tell you something...brings it to a whole other level when you just don't give a f. And I know, passion is something different. I have some disassociation issues, so this worked for me. For MM, the affairs were something different. This was a relationship to them, more than the friendship is was to me. It was a fantasy relationship. So, they really enjoyed that but further...gave it their all. Seriously. And of course, during an affair there is no negative conversation. A MM thinks he is just so woderful this single woman is into him...so he feels great about himself. Each meeting or vacation was planned well in advance, so plenty of time spent getting ready, at the salons, shopping...fun stuff for me. Also nice when everybody goes home . It was the darkest period of my life.
Realist3 Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Realist, Now that your wife as agreed to an open marriage, why limit yourself to just one woman? Why would your AP stay with a H that she hates? Because I have no desire for other women. I'm very selective, almost to a fault. I found one that very few can compare, both physically and mentally. When you are already driving a Ferrari a Corvette doesn't have much appeal. Because they have the appearance of a picture perfect marriage, 4 kids and a very very nice lifetsyle. (Although some of our common friends have said to me, "you can tell there isn't a whole lot of love there.") We are both very active and well known in our city's social circles. Too much upheaval. Her kids are the main reason though. They love their dad and they have a nice little family life. She has two daughter in highschool and twin boys who are 8. The twins were an accident, and she had not had them I think she would probably split after the girls got out of highschool. But she has decised to stay until the twins get out of high school.
Realist3 Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Perhaps your wife is conservative only with you but perhaps she'll be a little wilder with someone else, just like you are with your OW. I would guess your OW's husband would never imagine the things she does with you. I'd bet her husband if asked would describe his wife as conservative in bed and that's partly why he cheats on her. Ironic isn't it:D You sure do have a wild imagination. She views sex like driving from point A to point B. Get there as quickly as possible. I would say that over the past year I may have come 10% of the time with her because she is so quick. She needs 5 minutes and I need 30.
Furious Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 You sure do have a wild imagination. She views sex like driving from point A to point B. Get there as quickly as possible. I would say that over the past year I may have come 10% of the time with her because she is so quick. She needs 5 minutes and I need 30. Yeah maybe with you, but perhaps not with her lover:D 1
Realist3 Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Yeah maybe with you, but perhaps not with her lover:D LOL! I try and slow her down, but she just can't help herself.
Realist3 Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Maybe I will get lucky tonight for her birthday after this meal. http://congressaustin.com/menus/congress/7course.pdf
Realist3 Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 :laugh: I don't want her to leave. I have a 7 yo of my own, and I'm not leaving 'til she is out of the house.
Furious Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 I don't want her to leave. I have a 7 yo of my own, and I'm not leaving 'til she is out of the house. I'm not leaving my marriage until my great grand children finish high school. 3
2sure Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Maybe I will get lucky tonight for her birthday after this meal. http://congressaustin.com/menus/congress/7course.pdf My daughter visited Austin just recently for her cousins 16th birthday And really enjoyed that place, she was disappointed to be too young for the wine pairings but said it was really fun. 1
whichwayisup Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 LOL! I try and slow her down, but she just can't help herself. Can she have multiple orgasms? There's always a tiny bit of cool off time in between, but have you tried to make her have another one or two after a little break?
Realist3 Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Can she have multiple orgasms? There's always a tiny bit of cool off time in between, but have you tried to make her have another one or two after a little break? Back in the day, yes. Now not so much. She is in another worldafter the O, and it is like making love to a corpse.
2sure Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 the best sex is actually in your mind' date=' you connect with someone emotionally and physically - simple as that. We are trying to tell you BS that if you lose that connection, your marriage is in danger. This information is given free. Take it.[/quote'] For me is was a different connection than the kind in a marriage....that defines affair sex. Also, the MM I knew were quite happily connected to their wives. They just wanted more. 4
veryhappy Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 (edited) I have to agree that it's the combination of the physical and emotional connection. ExMM said that he realized he always thought he was missing the sex but it was much more than that. He was missing the closeness too. In my case, I believe we simply have amazing chemistry and we'd have the same chemistry outside an A, in a boring regular R. He works for me and I work for him, and it's one of those things where there's not a full explanation that could be put in words for it. It just happens. Some people work well together. The context of being an A never did much for me, except stress me so I can't say it was great because it was an A. Edited December 15, 2012 by cutedragon 1
Realist3 Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Before I leave for what promises to be a wonderful evening with my wife on her birthday; sex is not the end all. Yes, I love some great sex, but to those of you that think that is what makes a relationship, you are sadlyt mistaken. Good night. 2
Recommended Posts