Telling your kid they're too tired to do something (is this normal)

[SpiralOut]

Is it normal for a parent to tell their kid they are not allowed to stay at their friends place because it will make them too tired? Let's say the kid is between the ages 10-14. They allow the kid to go out one weekend night, either Friday or Saturday, but not both. The kid does not have any health issues. She is very active, athletic, high energy.

 

When the kid becomes a teenager and tries to cram a bunch of stuff into one day, let's say a shopping trip out of town for the afternoon then going out to a dance in the evening, is it normal for the mother to discourage her from doing both things because she's worried of how tired it will make her, or that she must be too tired to be able to do it? This is a teenager who goes out a lot and hardly ever "feels too tired" to be able to do something.

 

Just wondering since I had a control freak mother growing up and she would do this with me. I remember my friends always thought it was really weird if I gave this excuse for not being allowed to go out. Looking back on it now, I'm trying to figure out if this is normal for a parent to do that, or is this a control freak thing she was doing?

[darkmoon]

unless your schoolwok suffered, no

 

you ran a post about a bossy woman at work who you found hard to handle, i know from personal experience, that a controlling mother makes other contriolling women hard/impossible to handle when you're an adult yourself (some mothers, by contrast, like to guide rather than sabotage) so perhaps, just perhaps, i'm near to understanding that your mother was jealous like mine and she would have been happier if i'd never hit puberty, my mother did mellow out over time

 

just a possiblity of a theory

[SpiralOut]

unless your schoolwok suffered, no

 

you ran a post about a bossy woman at work who you found hard to handle, i know from personal experience, that a controlling mother makes other contriolling women hard/impossible to handle when you're an adult yourself (some mothers, by contrast, like to guide rather than sabotage) so perhaps, just perhaps, i'm near to understanding that your mother was jealous like mine and she would have been happier if i'd never hit puberty, my mother did mellow out over time

 

just a possiblity of a theory

 

My grades were excellent. I didn't even need to try that hard to do well.

 

I think you're right. I think that I do have trouble dealing with controlling people because of my mother. I didn't have much choice growing up but to just get used to the treatment and decide that it must be normal. I fought back against her as much as I could but that's hard to do when you're a kid. She would often "win" simply because she was the adult. Not sure if my mother was jealous of me but it's possible.

[darkmoon]

My grades were excellent. I didn't even need to try that hard to do well.

 

I think you're right. I think that I do have trouble dealing with controlling people because of my mother. I didn't have much choice growing up but to just get used to the treatment and decide that it must be normal. I fought back against her as much as I could but that's hard to do when you're a kid. She would often "win" simply because she was the adult. Not sure if my mother was jealous of me but it's possible.

 

learn to say no when you want; my own release came when i figured out that i'm not actually married to anyone, so ppl who are controlling, who are drawn towards and even look for ppl to control, well, i don't have to make nice to them, at one phase in my life, i knew no other way, often the stooge/underling to somebody on a power-trip with a crappy agenda targetting me, but that's me

Edited December 15, 2012 by darkmoon