I miss my ex.. But he's dating someone new

[patronus1]

Everything in a nutshell;

 

We dated for 6 years. I lost attraction to him and started to see him only as a friend. I broke it off saying i needed space to figure things out. At the time i was also trying to get into nursing school. He didn't want to break up at all. He begged and pleaded. He even started to do things he stopped doing months before, like anniversaries. But i told him it was too late, just give me time to think. The last time we saw each other was last year in December. He asked me one last time to come back and reconsider. He even said he would wait for me. I told him not to wait. We continued to talk through text/calls. Eventually that stopped. While i finished my first semester of nursing school, i began to think of him again. I began to consider starting a relationship with him again. I really miss him and realized i fell in love with my best friend. I didn't want to lose that. Close to thanksgiving, i saw him walking home and "my heart jumped." I sent a message to my bff who was in contact with him and asked if there was a possibility of us dating again. She told me he's been seeing someone since August. My heart broke, but at the same time, i did tell him not to wait. For weeks ive been crying, trying to figure out if this is what i really want. My bff says "to focus on myself because thats the reason you broke it off in the first place. look at what you've accomplished because of it." I occasionally text him to see how he is doing. And no reply. I recently sent him a text stating that i would stop because he has a new relationship. I dont want to disrespect him or his new gf. Ive been writing letters expressing how i feel. Asking if he would consider us getting back together. but i havent mailed it yet. I keep rewriting them hoping they would help me cope, but it's not working.

 

I forgot to mention his mom and i talk on the phone sometimes. And she always says the same thing. "What happened? You were the best and i love you. His new gf is young. shes 22. And you're both 24. I dont understand what happened." It hurts when i hear it and i still haven't given an explanation. I plan to do so and to also tell her we need to stop talking because its disrespectful especially since i didn't ask if it was okay with my ex if i continue to contact her.

 

6 years is such a long time. And i dont think ive really dealt with the emotions attached to that relationship. I do have a tendency to bury my feelings especially if they are painful ones. it's been a year since the breakup... i guess im just tired of crying.. haha. i think in the end i just miss the thought of him. but i do want to see him.. physically. i still want to give him that letter expressing how i feel... idk what to do. his mom told me they are leaving for mexico and will be back in jan 2013.

 

I plan on explaining everything to her and saying goodbye because it is only courteous i accept her son's new relationship. idk if im ready. honestly it hurts like hell thinking about it. i love him and his family soo much...

 

thanks for listening.

[blue_jay_bird]

You came to a form of mostly the dumped. The bitter and broken hearted live here.

 

The first evil thing i thought was; sweet retribution.

 

You did dump him right?

 

The only thing i can think of what you should do, is remember why you dumped him. That you only want him cause you can't have him. And move on. Learn from your mistake. Their was something off/missing right? you didn't find the relationship fulfilling. Remember this. People don't let go of other's they love so easily... You think you love him, but it's just old romantic thoughts.

 

 

Just think about it for a little longer before you try to renter his life. Are you just going through a hard time. Did a relationship of your end? If you where in a happier place would you even think about contacting your ex?

 

Are you sure.. that you won't just break his heart again?

Edited December 16, 2012 by blue_jay_bird

[youngnlove89]

This is a perfect example of the cliche term, "They always come back..."

 

You can't stand to see that he moved on and he is happy with someone else. You thought he would be miserable, you thought he would try to win you back, you didn't fathom the fact that maybe, just maybe, he would realize he didn't need you either..

 

I'm sorry you are hurting, but you broke up with him. If you really love someone, it wouldn't have been so easy to break up.

 

I think your ego hurts right now and you feel lonely. You broke up with him so you should be the one who is happy and is in a new relationship, but it didn't turn out that way and you didn't plan for that.

 

I know that if you and your ex were to get back together, you would just feel what you felt again when you originally broke up with him.

 

This is how the vicious cycle begins. You territory is no longer your territory. Let him go now. Let him be happy. Let him be with someone who knows what they want when they have it.

[Allumere]

You feel what you feel, whether the dumper or dumpee. It could be as others have suggested, wanting what you can't have or realizing you made a mistake...only you can answer that over time. Now that you are experiencing all these emotions it should give you a bit of insight into what your ex went through and why at this point he is not open to communicating with you. He has moved on and is possibly happy. This may also be a wound that didn't really heal...more like something he buried and if he is happy at the moment may see no reason in going there. I'm not one for holding back in regards to how I feel so I understand wanted to send a letter. My only suggestion is if you go that route, is ask why you are doing it. A letter is not going to bring him back but if it is sincere, honest (you own your part in the breakup etc.) and shows respect for where he is, it may ease any pain left and soften his heart toward you. Again, he wont run back but at least he can think of you and not think he was used or that the relationship was a total waste of time. You both are young and alot happens between 20 - 30 in terms of growing up. You hurt him but you didnt lie or cheat, you didnt know what you wanted because you are still "growing up". In the end I would say move on and be happy...if its meant to be than maybe a few years down the line but now is not your time.