Starnette83 Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 [font=arial][/font][color=blue][/color]Hello, well me and my ex broke up 3 weeks and 5 days ago..basically almost 4 weeks.... When we broke up I told him to not call me because i was tired of him breaking up with me and then calling me after a week and me taking him back,...anyways we were together 3 years 1/2..and this time we broke up it was because of him giving out his number to girls which i found disrespectful, especially after he had promised me-looking in my eyes that he would stop..and then i found he hadnt... anyways i know i shouldnt even want him to call me, and its not like i would take him back anymore even..it just that right now i feel like 4 weeks have gone by and this guy who i shared SO MUCH WITH, has just forgotten about me and doesnt even miss me, or regret what hes done, i thought that by letting him go he would realize his mistakes and maybe feel sorry and come back and apologize, but none of this has happened, making me feel really foolish, stupid for ever loving him and doing all the nice things i did for him....I just dont understand.... I know he lied to me alot, but why when we were together i felt so much specialness between us, was it just me being blind and in love??? I just dont get it...we had good chemistry, we would talk, laugh, and be good..but what killed it was his lies, his undecisiveness about me...ughhhh it just makes me mad because i feel i wasted so much with him and for waht??? for this??? it just breaks my heart still, how can i still miss him sometimes even tho he hurt me the way he did??? I just feel so angry that he is still in my thoughts and in my heart, i feel so invaded!!! Ive tried going out, ive met guys..but all the guys ive met suck, and that just makes it worse... I feel so alone....like im missing a part of me.... it sux ..he was my bf and friend for 3 years 1/2 and now we are complete strangers, his face i only see in my mind, and in pictures... I just cant believe hes forgotten about me....did he ever even care??? ugh Link to post Share on other sites
overseas2004 Posted August 13, 2004 Share Posted August 13, 2004 Yeah the guys you met suck but so does he. Giving his number out to girls ay? Yeah he sounds like a guy that you have a future with!!!! ARGHHHHH!!! Listen haven't you found anything out in this 4 weeks. I think you found out one brilliant peice of info. That is .... you can live without him... See ... you are living, breathing, walking and talking. My advice: keep walking... I know its hard. I know you miss him. All of that is natural and I understand... boy do I understand. But you have already gotten over the worse hump here. Why take all of that back so that you can suffer through it another day. What I mean to say is.. he is a liar. His lying is going to bother you right? You'll break up over it again won't you? Yes.. And then you will have to suffer again. EXCEPT that you will have lost more valuable time. Am I right? Ok so the guys you met so far suck. Most of them do out there. But he is not the only guy in the universe that does not suck right? If I were you I would not even focus on finding someone else now. I would do other things particularly things that would wear me out like jogging, swimming etc... Also any type of physical labor is a good thing at times like this. It allows us to think but it wears us out. Try cooking too. There is nothing like slaving over a hot stove at time like this because at teh end you have something to be proud of. And do go out.... as much as you can. Believe it or not it helps and gets your mind off things (I know you have resistance to this now... that is common but fight the resistance and go out). And if you need more help during this time PM me. It took me 4 months to get well. But my mom made me do all of the above and it worked to help. Regards Overseas2004 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starnette83 Posted August 13, 2004 Author Share Posted August 13, 2004 thank you for your advice, i know you're right, and i know i shouldnt be looking for another guy, even tho sometimes i just feel that maybe if i found someone else it can help me forget faster...but so far hasnt worked because the guys ive met..which have been like 4 all suck:( Anyways...it just bothers me so much that someone could lie so much...i guess only because i loved him and showed him i loved him doesnt mean he has to love me too..and that was the problem, he stopped loving me and tho i hate to admit it because it makes me feel like "what did i do wrong for him to stop loving me?" maybe it has nothing to do with me...i dont know...but sometimes i feel it does, maybe i became too dependent on him and he saw that and it just made him lose interest in me, maybe i wasnt confident, or independent enough...ugh....i dont know! I just know that when we were in eachothers arms it felt good..more then good..it felt SPECIAL...like THIS IS MEANT TO BE!!....mustve been crazy or soemthing....cuz obviously its nothing..we arent together anymore..and as i dwell hes forgotten about me... can u really forget about someoen who loved u so much??? who cleaned ure room? who washed ure cloth? who kissed u? who smiled at u when u looked in her eyes? who massaged u when u were sore?? ugh... what the hell??? I just wanna forget him.... all this evanescence songs is getting me down..maybe i should listen to christina aguilera Fighter..!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starnette83 Posted August 14, 2004 Author Share Posted August 14, 2004 im so dammmmmmmmmmmn tired of thinking of my ex, its already 4 weeks he hasnt contacted me, everythng that i thoght he was (special) was fake!!! i just want to MOVE ON!!! im so pissed...too much time has gone by, i want to find someone else, be happy elsewhere, i NEEVER WANT TO WASTE a tear or a thoght in him...he doesnt love me..isnt that obvious??? UGHHHH i hate to think i loved him soooooooooooo much, he used me!!! Link to post Share on other sites
smile95 Posted August 14, 2004 Share Posted August 14, 2004 I am going thru the same thing! It is like I know I would never go back, but I want him to want me back. It has been 3 wks for us. Except my difference is he is ignoring all my calls/emails and never even broke up with me. He is going thru a divorce and child custody, but that is no excuse. I decided that I need to move on and it sounds like you do too. I hate to admit it, but i feel fooled like he was fake too. I know they loved us and do think of us. My therapist said that men deal with stuff diff and they mourn in their own ways. Do not think for a sec he has forgotten you. Give him time...when was the last you spoke? Link to post Share on other sites
honey2005 Posted August 14, 2004 Share Posted August 14, 2004 I went through this same thing 3 months ago. A relationship I spent 3 years on was over in an instant. But time went by and I made it through, and after awhile I started to feel better. You just have to wait it out. Be glad you didn't waste any more time with him, and don't waste any more thinking about him and crying over him. He isn't worth crying over. Do you think he's crying about you right now? Time really does heal all wounds, you just have to let it. Like overseas said, keep yourself busy. That helps ALOT. Go out with your friends, exercise, cook, just stay busy. Things will work out for all of you, I know they will. Good luck, and I'm sorry we all had to meet guys that didn't deserve us. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starnette83 Posted August 17, 2004 Author Share Posted August 17, 2004 well as an update its 4 weeks and 3 days no contact now...cant believe it really, i feel like i didnt mean anything to him or something, maybe hes waiting for me to call, but no way i wont, he hurt me, maybe hes dating that girl he gave his # to..whatyever.. i dont wanna think about it...but what sux is taht i really thoguht i knew him and that we had somethign special and now that we are strangers im starting to doubt everything i had with him..i feel angry at him sometimes, just thinking of him now..instead of feeling those lovey feelings i felt, its more like anger "like how could u?" anyways imma get a job soon, i have interview friday and i start school in 2 weeks, im trying to have fun n keep busy... i might never forget him...but there will come the day i will no longer think of him or want him to come my way.. he does not deserve me..and he makes it more obvious everyday by ignoring me this way Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starnette83 Posted August 18, 2004 Author Share Posted August 18, 2004 well today i woke up bummy, its been 4 weeks and 4 days since ive seend or talked to my ex...and last night i dram that we were together, or near eachother and he was flirting withs ome girl who was next to me and then when he said "Imma go hug my gf" thinking he would come hug me, he hugged her..it was horrible!! then i woke up and im thinkinng the dream is telling me he has a new gf and it kills me..he looked so happy in the dream while i looked sad and miserable..what the hell?? im still not over him,w hat is wrong with me, and he hasnt even bothered calling me..its already past a month...this is so harsH! Link to post Share on other sites
smile95 Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 I have been apart from my ex for 3 wks and last night I also had a dream he was cheating. However, I thought about him all day and wondered if he was, so I must have incorporated that in my dream. When you have dreams of you backl together and happy, does the dream play out, not in my case. So dreams are not truth. I know it is hard to dream and wake up and be confused. I am too. Hang in there. Link to post Share on other sites
klassic Posted August 21, 2004 Share Posted August 21, 2004 Its been 8 weeks for me. *cries* Link to post Share on other sites
carolina Posted August 29, 2004 Share Posted August 29, 2004 Starnette: I know what you're going thru. You've only gone a few weeks. Me? It's been just about 7 months (together 6 years) and I'm slowly getting better. Up until recently, I was still calling him frequently--trying to figure out what went wrong, what can I fix so that we can get back together, and mostly just out of habit! He was always nice on the phone and that gave me a false sense of hope. He started to finally get mean and say stuff like "we can't keep talking, it's not healthy for moving on...." It's soooooo hard to just stop talking to someone who was such a part of your life. But, I've realized that it's even harder to talk to your ex love and hear about what they're doing now: back dating someone they left you for 2 years ago. (we had an 8 month gap in our relationship). It's hard to hear they've moved on while you're still mourning. Slowly I'm realizing that all talking to him does is make me miserable! I'm starting to see that it really does take time!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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