Lillyfree Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 this was a weird weekend. i was out at a pub with a group of people on saturday. got told that there was a guy staring at me, turned around and felt like i was punched in the stomach. he looked exactly like other man. i know it wasn't him, but realised this is how i might feel if i do really see him. and considering he's moving to my town after christmas, chances are that it will happen one day. thought i was doing so well... but haven't been able to get him out of my head all weekend. took a lot of will power and distractions not to contact him. wtf is wrong with me Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lillyfree Posted December 17, 2012 Author Share Posted December 17, 2012 to clarify... what i'm asking is if the relapse is normal... i'm definitely out of the fog, have been for 3 weeks now. 5 weeks on NC. i had the talk with my husband, a couple actually. we've got a long way to go yet, but things will improve. i have taken what's happened with OM as a wake-up call, a positive thing that would make H and i work on our marriage instead of just drifting further apart. the brain is thinking right things. why are my feelings contradicting it? Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 There is no fog...sigh. Your reaction is normal. A few weeks of NC won't break your bond to him. That takes time, more time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lillyfree Posted December 17, 2012 Author Share Posted December 17, 2012 There is no fog...sigh. Your reaction is normal. A few weeks of NC won't break your bond to him. That takes time, more time. no fog? i've read up a lot and the whole thing seemed legit...at least made sense for the way i was feeling/thinking in any case, i am able to view things more clearly than i did a couple of months ago... i just miss him. a lot. and he's probably happy as, and doesn't give me a second thought... blargh... Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 no fog? i've read up a lot and the whole thing seemed legit...at least made sense for the way i was feeling/thinking in any case, i am able to view things more clearly than i did a couple of months ago... i just miss him. a lot. and he's probably happy as, and doesn't give me a second thought... blargh... You'd be surprised what he's REALLY thinking and feeling. But what matters is YOU. It's perfectly natural and normal to miss him. Those were very real feelings and they aren't turned off with a switch. It sounds as though you're doing all the right things. Keeping busy, getting out, being distracted. Good work. It'll ease with time. It's a grief thing. Days will get better then every so often something will jump out at you, bring it all back, and you'll feel like you've been punched in the gut. The following day will be better again. Keep going! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lillyfree Posted December 18, 2012 Author Share Posted December 18, 2012 You'd be surprised what he's REALLY thinking and feeling. But what matters is YOU. It's perfectly natural and normal to miss him. Those were very real feelings and they aren't turned off with a switch. It sounds as though you're doing all the right things. Keeping busy, getting out, being distracted. Good work. It'll ease with time. It's a grief thing. Days will get better then every so often something will jump out at you, bring it all back, and you'll feel like you've been punched in the gut. The following day will be better again. Keep going! thank you i don't know. could be a mixture of realising how much trouble my marriage was in, how unhappy i was, how unhappy H was... guilt for allowing myself to get this far with someone else and disappointment in myself, but here i am at work, crying. had a brief chat to my friend, the only one i could talk to about this. and now i'm staring at my computer screen, and the tears just keep coming. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lillyfree Posted December 18, 2012 Author Share Posted December 18, 2012 It is legit. OP's in the fog don't think there's a fog. i do believe that i was in one, and how. to the extent that my personality changed... so i'm thinking clearer. but in a really cr*ppy place today. Link to post Share on other sites
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