Methods of discovery

[underwater2010]

The affair was over about a year before I found out. Sad to say but he was to stupid to delete the facebook messages, emails, videos, pics etc. Never needed the VAR, polygraph etc. I was one of the lucky ones that the affair was done.

[Realist3]

I think you are wrong, it is not bitterness, it is simply people who go off topic, or make assumptions, sometimes wild and sometimes the assumptions might be correct, but we don't always get to find out.

 

There are plenty of people who do respond to your posts/questions, and if they do so reasonably I notice you don't often engage further with them. You give the impression you just want to argue with other posters rather than have a discussion.

 

 

I'm talking about people who are obviously making digs. They will state assumptions about my wife and how it "must hurt me", or my MOW in the same light. They are bitter comments

[Realist3]

Realist;

You're right. We are all making assumptions about the "details" you leave out and by the way your posts come across as a bit arrogant, boastful and mildly narcassistic.

Sometimes it's frustrating as I hear you asking for full, honest input from LSers yet you come across as still halfway disclosing yourself. It can be irritatingly frustrating. The more YOU give the better the answers we can give*

I know that none of us feel comfortable giving ALL of ourselves at the risk of being berated or called names like I don't know, "a middle schooler mentalityabout swapping bodily fluids..." ( yep, still recovering from that one you know who you are*)

But sincerely, I rwad the posts and feel a bit "baited" myself. However, with your number "gotten" as far as I can read from your posts, THE SCORNED OW OUTED MY DOOF HUSBAND, and gratefully so.

 

I can empathize with that perspective. I like you. I appreciate your honesty.

 

Arrogant? Yep, I can see how that I may come across that way, no doubt. It is not something I am proud of and perhaps a failing in my way of expressing myself.

[Realist3]

So your feelings are hurt because people are incorrectly assuming that your feelings are hurt?

 

I'm confused.

 

 

 

No. my feelimgs aren't hurt at all. I'm just calling a spade a spade.

[Lamplight]

I found Ashley Madison in our account history one day. I created an account and waited for him to contact me. It took him three weeks. His first contact with me was "Hi! How are you? It looks like we have a lot in common. You can email me at chvgg@))) if you wish". I emailed him for several months and took screen shots of our conversations and his dirty pictures. Found out that he had cheated on me for at least 6 years with many different women. He talked about me like I was garbage. I never knew what a nasty disgusting individual I was married to. He was always acting like the perfect husband, father, neighbor and employee. When I had paid off my debts, I packed up his stuff and sat a copy of all the documentation on top of it. I told him I was going to send that out to everyone he knew. The divorce proceeded along quite nicely after that. Got every unreasonable thing I could come up with and then some.

[Realist3]

I found Ashley Madison in our account history one day. I created an account and waited for him to contact me. It took him three weeks. His first contact with me was "Hi! How are you? It looks like we have a lot in common. You can email me at chvgg@))) if you wish". I emailed him for several months and took screen shots of our conversations and his dirty pictures. Found out that he had cheated on me for at least 6 years with many different women. He talked about me like I was garbage. I never knew what a nasty disgusting individual I was married to. He was always acting like the perfect husband, father, neighbor and employee. When I had paid off my debts, I packed up his stuff and sat a copy of all the documentation on top of it. I told him I was going to send that out to everyone he knew. The divorce proceeded along quite nicely after that. Got every unreasonable thing I could come up with and then some.

 

 

Wow! So you created a persona that you thought wuld attract him? How did you know what to write?

[Realist3]

He would like to know more of our tricks so he can help his OW avoid being caught.

 

I found this one rather funny. You give up all of "our tricks" on a daily basis.

[ComingInHot]

Realist;

Are you a "Taurus"?

I'm not into that signs are the have all end all but I do see a pattern in some of the personalities. It would make sense to me if you were ...

 

So, how do you think you & OW will get busted?

[Realist3]

I don't think your OW is unintelligent. If her husband has hired a PI three times to trail her, that means he knows she's cheating but wants to get tangible evidence useable in court against her if they divorce. The reason for that is obvious, they share business interests together and if they divorce it will give him leverage. The OW also knows your wife isn't going anywhere. So, if her husband decides to divorce her premature to her planned exit strategy, she would be left without a landing pad. I think in that circumstance it is pretty typical for the OW to keep her options, as well as her legs, wide open.

 

He doesn't need anything in court. Texas is a no fault state and infidelity carries little to no weight in a divorce proceeding. He may want leverage, but she already has the goods on him in that respect and he knows it. They are both on equal footing in that regard. He is just an overly jealous SOB. She owns his ass.

[Realist3]

Realist;

Are you a "Taurus"?

I'm not into that signs are the have all end all but I do see a pattern in some of the personalities. It would make sense to me if you were ...

 

So, how do you think you & OW will get busted?

 

Yes, I am.

 

I don't know if we will get busted. I think we have pretty much taken care of all of his abilities to inquire. I reallycan't think of anything at this point but her admitting it.

Edited December 18, 2012 by Realist3

[ComingInHot]

Seriously?!!??!

Hahahaha:laugh: I can TOTALLY see it!! Ugh!

Anyway, it's a good thing cause it sounds like you need all the energy you have to keep your status quo*

[Realist3]

Seriously?!!??!

Hahahaha:laugh: I can TOTALLY see it!! Ugh!

Anyway, it's a good thing cause it sounds like you need all the energy you have to keep your status quo*

 

 

How did you know? I'm a Taurus and she is a Scorpio. I want to know why you made that assumption and what about me led you in that direction?

[ComingInHot]

I'm a Scorpio... nuf said...

[Realist3]

I'm a Scorpio... nuf said...

ten somethings

[todreaminblue]

How did you find out about your WS?

 

A lot of people suggest key loggers, PI's, GPS on the vehicle, voice activated recorders, phone trackers. All of these are easily defeated.

 

 

i didnt need anything to know i knew it in my heart because i knew him like i knew myself.....for a while i tried to convince myself i was paranoid and that i was the one with the problem......then i sleuthed his phone to verify iwasnt a freak .....deb

[GLDheart]

Realist,

 

With all of the current heightened national attention, aren't you a touch worried about doing this spy vs spy shenanigans around a school?

[seren]

I'm sure it might be common. And you are correct I have said very little about my MOW, so the assumptions certainly run wild no matter how off the mark they might be. What is the point in making those assumptions? You know what they are as well as I do; people talking out of their butts out of bitterness.

 

Realist, I don't know if you have thought about how some of your responses sound almost boastful and on a forum where people have been hurt by infidelity it seems rather shallow. I think everyone gets that you and the MOW are able to deceive her H and that your wife knows and isn't interested enough to do anything about it. if that is what floats your boat and makes you happy, then good for you, but I am struggling to understand what it is you actually want answering as most of your responses seem to be about applauding your ability to gaslight her husband.

 

To ask how BS found out would suggest that the majority replying have been through a D Day, I would wish the pain of that on no one, I don't suppose you would either. So why be surprised if people are less than supportive or understanding about hearing how you and she are able to deceive her BS when most of us have been the person who was lied to and the person who ultimately bore the brunt of the pain an A. The word bitter is bandied about too often when a BS hits a sore spot, try thinking that hurting is more an accurate description.

[2sunny]

The purpose was to inquire about how you found out. Some were told, others have become investigative.

 

We have all sorts of advice given about how to discover. Well, those methods are not always effective. In fact, if someone has any wits about them those methods are virtually deemed moot, and a waste of time and money.

 

If anything I'm letting BS's know that those methods they may attempt may not work.

 

My radar went off - and when my intuition kicks in - I stop at nothing to find truth.

 

I had his hidden info within an hour...

 

23 years ended right then and there. I changed the locks and told him not to come home!

 

My intuition is never wrong.

[2sunny]

Putting yourselves in a position that makes you both look like a$$es to others is a conscious choice you make.

 

You think no one notices? Ahahaha = that is comical!

 

And suffice it to say - most schools are acutely aware of EVERY person on the grounds right now after the shooting last Friday!

 

You think no ones noticing - you are a silly, silly man.

 

Foolish of both of you!

 

When you cheat - you're MORE likely to get caught than not!

 

That's part of the "excitement" eh?

 

And if you think kids don't notice when people are acting sneaky or off balance = you are sadly mistaken.

 

You "think" you're being clever - but it's very foolish and naive to think no one notices.

 

Ether way - you BOTH have character flaws...maybe you are perfectly matched?

[frozensprouts]

:laugh::laugh:

 

I waltz in and out of that school all day long, so do a lot of people. An hour here and an hour there multiple times a week and you are just part of the shuffle.

 

 

wow...

if i were a parent of a child at that school i's be pretty ticked...any school i've ever been in ( i have three kids and have volunteered in a lot of schools) the only door open for entrance is the front, and you get stopped at the office when you enter. all other doors are kept locked...and no one ( unless they are a full time teacher) is ever just 'part of the shuffle'...you have to sign in and out even if you are a volunteer , and leave through the front door

 

as for using the internet to send messages, etc....

 

I use gmail a lot for different things, and one day, i looked up my email address, and lo and behold, my password was in a list of hacked passwords...don't know how it got there, but there is was...

 

and if you use a business or public or workplace computer, the admins. can legally save your passwords and monitor your conversations ( at least they can here)...

 

hacking is pretty easy if one wants to badly enough ( my nine year old can hack quite well, and I've had to take his computer away from him...)

 

my point is that if someone wants to find things out, it's not that had if they put a bit of effort into it

Edited December 18, 2012 by frozensprouts

[alexandria35]

:laugh: LOL...the PI story is just cracking me up!

 

If she was being followed by a real PI she wouldn't have been able to escape detection by something as stupid as going in the front door and exiting out the back..LOL. And a real PI never would have told her the reason her husband hired her. Even if he was a friend it still wouldn't have happened. Think about it for a second. Why would he do that? If she really did manage to fool the PI then when he told her why her husband hired him wouldn't he think that might upset her a little? Considering that he doesn't know about the affair because he never caught her doing anything one would think that in telling her the that her husband had her followed might get her riled up enough to confront her husband about it and then he would be right in the middle of their sh*tstorm and her husband could destroy his credability and his business. Seriously? Hahaha.....

[waterwoman]

I found out because H told me about all these 'ridiculous' rumours that were flying about at work about him and another woman (Ha ha! How absurd eh?). This was the second time he had told me about something similar and as I was feeling increasingly uncomfortable about the work situation and about the way he was behaving towards the children and myself, I checked his phone for texts. No need for PI or computer loggers - muppet had just left all his texts from weeks and weeks ago. He didn't feel the need because it had never in 20 odd years thought to do such a thing - never felt the need.

 

Took him nearly 2 days to confess completely - during which time he became ambivalent about staying with me. But we got there. Twat!

[waterwoman]

realist - I must admit I find your tone quite abrasive too. I don't know why you wouldn't understand how some people find this subject quite a sensitive one. Could you not be a little kinder?

[Realist3]

:laugh: LOL...the PI story is just cracking me up!

 

If she was being followed by a real PI she wouldn't have been able to escape detection by something as stupid as going in the front door and exiting out the back..LOL. And a real PI never would have told her the reason her husband hired her. Even if he was a friend it still wouldn't have happened. Think about it for a second. Why would he do that? If she really did manage to fool the PI then when he told her why her husband hired him wouldn't he think that might upset her a little? Considering that he doesn't know about the affair because he never caught her doing anything one would think that in telling her the that her husband had her followed might get her riled up enough to confront her husband about it and then he would be right in the middle of their sh*tstorm and her husband could destroy his credability and his business. Seriously? Hahaha.....

 

She goes there every day, it is part of her routine. There was nothing to see there. In terms of the PI telling her it is not very surprising because I have yet to run into anyone that likes the guy(her H). They respect him because of his money, but they don't like him.

 

 

Heck yes, she was upset. She was also upset about the GPS and the other methods he employed. But that is who he is. He is a controller. I remember early on one evening we bumped into eachother at a grocery store parking lot, and she said, "I can't talk to you here because my H is likely to show up." So, I went to my car and within a minute he pulls up just to check if she was indeed at the grocrey store.

[Realist3]

wow...

if i were a parent of a child at that school i's be pretty ticked...any school i've ever been in ( i have three kids and have volunteered in a lot of schools) the only door open for entrance is the front, and you get stopped at the office when you enter. all other doors are kept locked...and no one ( unless they are a full time teacher) is ever just 'part of the shuffle'...you have to sign in and out even if you are a volunteer , and leave through the front door

 

as for using the internet to send messages, etc....

 

I use gmail a lot for different things, and one day, i looked up my email address, and lo and behold, my password was in a list of hacked passwords...don't know how it got there, but there is was...

 

and if you use a business or public or workplace computer, the admins. can legally save your passwords and monitor your conversations ( at least they can here)...

 

hacking is pretty easy if one wants to badly enough ( my nine year old can hack quite well, and I've had to take his computer away from him...)

 

my point is that if someone wants to find things out, it's not that had if they put a bit of effort into it

 

She is the VP of the PTA and is there every day. I am also involved with several PTA committees and am there several days a week. We both know all of the school administration very well. She is actually friends with the principal, meaning they do stuff as couples , dinner, drinks, parties, etc.. We both know every teacher. She has been there a long time given the gap in ages of her children, and I have been there for 6 years.