masky007 Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 Hi, i have read about this topics, what others say and i see more men are bothered by their girlfriend past sex life.. I know it's something you should forget about but lately i am being obsessive.. I must point out i love my girlfriend - i really love her.. we are going out about 3 months but we have a history earlier .. since we has our share of sympathy one to another since 7th grade.. However, i am 24 now and she is 25.. i must point i lost my virginity at this age with her.. And she knows everything about me and my sex life.. she knows that i didn't had serious relationship before.. i was not interested much in getting a girlfriend.. i dedicated myself to school and work.. I have a kind of erectile dysfunction (it's psychological - cause sometimes i don't have problems with getting a hard-on at all - and sometimes i do)... the point is this.. I noticed whenever it happens whenever i can't get it up, i am getting REALLY angry.. depressed, closed... and usually than it happens to think about shes past how she has been with other guys.. i feel so bad about it.. it actually hurts me allot.. i am angry at her.. because i know some of her ex boyfriends, (i am not sure if she had sex with every one of them but... i don't respect those guys at ALL - and i feel very BAD about it...) ... these days, the conversation with her led somehow to this topic.. and i tried carefully to ask her about her sex life .. and she GOT SO ANNOYED and angry.. she pointed out that i don't respect her.. that no man should ever ask a lady that kind of question (i know that.. - but to me.. she is not just "any" lady... i wan't to know.. at least i wouldn't guess if she was with that or another guy, or not, or it was with another and etc..) however i have this need inside to ask her because i really don't feel comfortable with her knowing everything about my sex life and i don't about her.. And on top of that.. i am pretty serious about her.. i love her and i am satisfied with her personality.. i would like to spend the rest of my life with her- so that means to ask for her hand one day... AND THAT THOUGHT... that now i have slept only with her.. and she had (1 another man for sure - i guess they are more...) and that thought.. it KILLS ME.. it makes me feel like i am closed in a cage.. because now i am with her.. and i want to stay like that... but my past now cant be changed... nor hers ... and i would never ever cheat on her so i would be with another woman.... And it kills me.. all those 3 problems..1. my erectile dysfunction, 2. the thing that i got pain in my chest whenever i think about her being with another sexually (even if it is past), and 3. the thought that she have changed more than one or two sex partners it drives me nuts - i think if i my sex history was richer than hers.. i wouldn't feel like this... I don't mind that she is "not a virgin".. i feel really upset about that she as a "woman" had more sex partners than i do... .. that thought that she was sleeping only with her last ex boyfriend dose not bothers me at all... the thought that i don't know how it is to be with another woman.. it dose not bothers me as well... but that she has more sex partners in her life than me (if it's like that.. cause she never told me..) it bothers me... (i know the problem lies in me myself and no other...) i just feel like this.... .. i am not sure what to do... i don't know if i will be happy in my life if i marry this girl, if i leave this problem i feel like i would be haunted forever.. ... and i don't wanna end my relationship with her because of this. i really love her... and i really respect her... ........ I am really not sure what to do.... Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 There is a reason we call it the "past". My wife and I both lost our virginity to someone else. We were both around 20 (although I am 4 years older). Any skeletons we both had in our closet we explained them to each other long before we even got engaged. We accepted that neither of us had a perfect past but what is more important is the life that the two of you have from the time you meet onwards. Yeah you aren't each other's "firsts" so to say, but there is still a special feeling knowing you haven't shared each other since you've met. I would say focus on that more than anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author masky007 Posted December 17, 2012 Author Share Posted December 17, 2012 There is a reason we call it the "past". My wife and I both lost our virginity to someone else. We were both around 20 (although I am 4 years older). Any skeletons we both had in our closet we explained them to each other long before we even got engaged. We accepted that neither of us had a perfect past but what is more important is the life that the two of you have from the time you meet onwards. Yeah you aren't each other's "firsts" so to say, but there is still a special feeling knowing you haven't shared each other since you've met. I would say focus on that more than anything. I really understand you.. but man.. i have no other "history" than her... Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted December 17, 2012 Share Posted December 17, 2012 Chances are she feels ashamed. She knows you've never been with anyone else but her. But, she has and she might feel a little guilty that she can't say you were her first. Therefore, she doesn't like to bring it up. I agree, it's her past. But, in her present and her future, she chose you!!! Now, about your ED. At 24 you really shouldn't be having to deal with ED. I strongly reccommend that you go see your Doctor and get checked out. Get all the physical tests done before you assume it's physicological. You may have low T and that can be an easy fix. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 Unless she had abortion/s, worked in the sex industry, had 100 ONS, there is no need to here about her past sexual exploits. I will throw this exception out. Thing is if you socialize with any of her ex's and are not aware they were her ex she needs to tell you that they went out so you are not blind sided. Then the both of you need to cut the ex/s out of your lives. Link to post Share on other sites
Later82012 Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 I think most women have more sex partners than most men just for the simple fact that they are women and most women have more options than most men. Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I really understand you.. but man.. i have no other "history" than her... Have you thought that she just might find that special? She probably does. Put it this way, you waited your whole life for her and you chose each other to be with. Forget about how you got there and focus more on how to make your future work. There is so much pressure (more on guys than girls in my opinion) to lose your virginity that it might be a refreshing change for her to have a guy who waited. Link to post Share on other sites
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