Confused4440 Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 Hopefully this isnt to long My girlfriend and i have been together for 3 years, the last 2 being long distance, not very far apart 2.5 hour drive. Things were going great for the first while saw each other every week sometimes twice a week went on holidays together etc... She is in her last year of university. after about 6 months she got really drunk and ended up kissing one of her guy friends, she told me about it right away and felt so bad about it and didnt want me to break up with her... Told her i was disappointed in her but i could forgive and forget. Fast forward to this spring things were going really good again, i was always extremely nice to her spoiled her, we were both really busy with work and her school but we always managed to find time for each other. When summer rolled around she started to get a little distant but it had happened the summer before and i understood she was really into her work and other hobbies, so i decided on our 2.5 year anniversary to get a hotel and just have a weekend together. Well the night before she had got really drunk with her friends and was hungover as hell for the hotel, whatever she was having fun with her friends. She passed out early in the evening and her phone wouldnt stop beeping from texts so whatever i grab it, i had no reason to suspect anything, but when i go to turn it off there is a conversation she was having with one of her friends from the night before. It was her friend asking what my girlfriend ended up doing with that guy the night before. my girlfriend goes on to say oh we just made out and he seems like a nice guy... Couldnt belive my eyes. In the morning i ask her if she had fun with her friends and behaved herself she asnwers of course like nothing ever happened. Ok fine ill leave it for now. After that she became very distant hardly talked to me only called if she wanted something, then out of the blue wants a break for the summer, right then i should have asked her about it but just couldnt get myself to. 2.5 months go by very little contact then late one night she is calling crying and wanting me back, we agree to meet and to try things again. Few weeks later she is very stressed with school money and work and doesnt talk to me really at all and then starts texting things like are we gonna make it, it isnt working out is it. Finally i ask her if there is someone else. She got so mad calling me an ******* and i said i have a good reason to ask and tell her about the conversation she had with her friend.......she just denies it saying i dont trust her, you think im a cheater.. all that crap, and now she doesnt want to deal with me. Were still together but she wont answer my texts or calls. I had the proof right in front of me and she just denies it? I have no idea if there were more guys but right now i have no clue what to do. Any advice would be great! sorry for the long post Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 GF has cheated on you at least two times. You are afraid to confront her. You should confront for your own satisfaction then dump her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 dude, you already have your answer. You can't deny yourself what YOU saw. She's lying to you and cheating on you. Do you really want to be around someone like that? Look, I know you have history with her. But, I have a feeling that you're more into her than she is with you. And let's face it. You deserve better. She's cheating on you; you confront her with the facts and she cusses YOU out? Sorry dude, but if she isn't answering your calls or texts, I would take the hint and count your blessings. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mina Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 You have your proof, she doesn't care, you're being a doormat. Move past her and move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 Ok, you did several things wrong, and i hope you will understand why in the future : - you 'forgave and forgot' when she cheated first. While it was commendable that she came clean with it to you, that's just because she had a vested interest in you. But more importantly you swept it under the rug. She cheated and you let it go. The lack of consequences gave her boldness in the future. - when you found that text you should have confronted her right then and there. Complete proof of her cheating, and you waited months for it. - so now you confronted her, and she is in fact acting as if you did something wrong. That's because she knows that you are a pushover. - you are a pushover overall - you are not sticking to your guns [in all relationships the one that cares the least has the most power and she has learned this lesson with you ... you care the most] Women cannot love a man they don't respect, and she doesn't respects you. In fact you missed your chance at commanding respect when she came clean with her cheating ... that was in a way a test. You cannot salvage this, go NC ... do not break it. PS: She contacted and wanted you back because the other guy/guys broke up with her and she is probably not the kind that can be alone ... she must always be attached emotionally to someone. She is still using you, as the backburner guy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lukas Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 So basically you caught her red-handed and still want to believe her? WTF! Grow a pair and leave that vile creature you call a gf 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 Welcome to the forum. NC and don't look back. Bad news and good advice in the thread. Good luck moving on from this precious jewel of a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused4440 Posted December 18, 2012 Author Share Posted December 18, 2012 Ya I know I'm a pushover. Guess I never thought the sweet girl that I thought she was would do that. Especially since her ex had cheated on her. I just don't get why she denies it when I saw everything... Makes no sense but I'm just going to enjoy the holidays with friends and family who don't lie to me. And if she comes crawling back she can forget about being with me again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted December 19, 2012 Share Posted December 19, 2012 Any advice would be great! sorry for the long post Easy, you tell her she is a cheater and a liar, and that you don't want such a person. You tell her you will be looking forward to being single and not having to worry about a runaround girlfriend. If you don't end it with her, then the next time it DOES happen, its on you. Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 You should have woke her azz up and confronted her when you found the texts. Then dumped her. Hope she's an XGF now. Link to post Share on other sites
TheLestat Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 She denies it because you are a pushover and she knows she will win out. You know she cheated and is a cheater. What else do you need to know? Who cares if she doesn't answer your calls. You should be the one avoiding her this, you need to confront her and dump her, end of story! Link to post Share on other sites
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