Am I wasting my time?

[petrahouse]

Just a quickie guys

 

Broke up with x 7 months ago after living together 5 years, all my fault, disconnected and treated her not very well. Usual did not want to leave but I had forced her etc.

 

I went to Africa for 6 months more or less after the break up to sort my head out do some travelling & charity work. We kept in touch off and on mainly all my instigation, usual rubbish telling her i would change etc, she said she needed time to heal, basically I was saying give me a second chance, she was no, you are never going to treat me like that again.

 

Anyway I came back, we work for the same firm, but I am different location, so her, all very nice no probs, she said she did not want to hang out yet as she was still trying to get around the fact I was back. Ok no stress, we then had some financial issues to sort out, she became extremely aggressive over it and started dragging up the past at every opportunity. I was, you know what, go away i dont need this in my life lets just talk and be polite if we have to about work etc She then calmed right down and the following day said it was not about the money about my attitude towards her, how I necver once put her first. So I said look lets just calm down all the emotion and speak politely and grown up if we have to. She agreed.

 

Went to the firms xmas party, she was there, got on like a house on fire, to the point people in the firm thought we were back together, we stayed out well after everyone else, I got locked out(true drunk flat mate) ended up back at hers, in same bed, no sex, but cuddled a bit.

 

That evening she asked me what I was doing xmas day, I said going to a girl we both know for xmas dinner (nothing in it what so ever just friends and she felt sorry for me as no where else to go)

 

Anyway next night we were txting, I decided to ask her if she was seeing anyone else, she said yeah nothing serious, some guy who lives abroad who she met when visiting her best friend, which she does probably about 4 or 5 times a year. Said she had been seeing him on and off for last few months, I was no stress what so ever hope he is a good dude. She then said are you seeing anyone, I said yes, the friend who I am seeing for xmas dinner, she said I new you were as it was strange you going to hers, anyway it all got a bit heated but I stayed very cool and calm and polite.

 

Come the next few days we start txing again, she has to work weekend but has no car as I took it back on my return. I offer her the car for the weekend which she accepts. I pick her up Friday and have a date local. Ask her to drop me off. She is all over it with all the questions etc, she says if we are going to be friends you need to be honest. I then get a txt later from her asking how date is going. I ignore it but reply to other content in the txt.

 

Come sunday she has to drop my car back, I then have to drop her home, we again get on like a house on fire laugh every minute, she then starts rubbing my arm for about 20/30 secs saying how i have lost weight since my trip. I drop her off but she seems not to want to get out but carry on talking. I tell her i have to go.

 

Since Sunday have had very little contact with her, I have not txt her, she has txt me but to do with business but it had alot of banter in it. i gave her a one line reply. She then sorted out some financial stuff for me, I said I owe her, she said buy me sushi!!! i said give me a date when your free, she said I will check diary. have not heard back.

 

So my dilemma is this. I am kinda over her but not, I still love her, the bloke thing does not make me jealous, but I would in all honesty like a second chance with her and the 6 months of travel has done me the world of good. Should I try to progress it at this stage, I know she is back abroad at her mates in January so will no doubt hook up with the guy. Or should i just leave things, let her contact me if she wants and just see how it goes, give her space etc. I am also not sure what she feels about me or if she would give it a second chance. She has always stated she would never etc etc.