rapunzel1 Posted December 19, 2012 Share Posted December 19, 2012 Hello everyone... I have been working in my current company for 2 and a half year. I have started to work w a new manager 5 months ago.. He was always critizing me and was never pleased w my works, always complaining.. I was so scared from him..One month ago, we started to work on a new project and we had to stay late hours at the office. While we were working on the same table, he was sitting so close to me and his knee was touching mine...He didn't move his knee for 10 mins. I didn't move mine either cause i got scared and was afraid of if i moved he would get angry...he kept leaning toward me to look at some files from my computer.. He was playing w his ring while he was looking at me..( He got married 7 months ago) but nothing happened that day.. the day after, he came to my room w smiling and asked me how I am and stroked my hair in front of my other co-workers.. I looked at him strangely and he said " u changed in a day, u weren't like this last night".. I was shocked and didn't say anything cause I m known as a quiet girl and never talks if it s not necessary at the office. Anyway, Yysterday we went a client together and he kept teasing me in front of them while we were having a lunch. I was trying to look more professional.. We were sitting together and he kept touching kiss knee to mine under the table again I can't understand why he acts like this? What do u think guys? P.S: Sorry for my english I m not a native speaker.. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 19, 2012 Share Posted December 19, 2012 Why do you let him touch your knee? What are you afraid of - getting fired? I would suggest you stop his disrespectful behavior towards you before you end up with a bad reptuation at work. People will think you are a slut if you continue to let him touch you inappropriately. It is okay to be quiet but not okay to be a doormat. Demand your personal space! Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted December 19, 2012 Share Posted December 19, 2012 This is harassment if it's not welcomed. Are you interested in him? Why post on this forum? If you want to keep it professional, you need to make it stop soon because you might feel that you have to have sex with him to keep your job and because you are afraid. He took the fact as you not moving the knee as interest, or at least lack of resistance. To him, you're just a question of time until he has sex with you. He's hunting and you are the prey. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author rapunzel1 Posted December 19, 2012 Author Share Posted December 19, 2012 Why do you let him touch your knee? What are you afraid of - getting fired? I would suggest you stop his disrespectful behavior towards you before you end up with a bad reptuation at work. People will think you are a slut if you continue to let him touch you inappropriately. It is okay to be quiet but not okay to be a doormat. Demand your personal space! Thank u for ur thoughtful comment stillafool. Yeah I m so scared that I ll be fired that s why I didnt do anything cause he s really good at his job and everyone likes him. I dont know what to do and can't understand why he does touch me ??? Should i ask him politely to stop touching me? Link to post Share on other sites
Author rapunzel1 Posted December 19, 2012 Author Share Posted December 19, 2012 This is harassment if it's not welcomed. Are you interested in him? Why post on this forum? If you want to keep it professional, you need to make it stop soon because you might feel that you have to have sex with him to keep your job and because you are afraid. He took the fact as you not moving the knee as interest, or at least lack of resistance. To him, you're just a question of time until he has sex with you. He's hunting and you are the prey. what should i do to stop him? Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted December 19, 2012 Share Posted December 19, 2012 Thank u for ur thoughtful comment stillafool. Yeah I m so scared that I ll be fired that s why I didnt do anything cause he s really good at his job and everyone likes him. I dont know what to do and can't understand why he does touch me ??? Should i ask him politely to stop touching me? Yes. Politely and in a general manner, explain/discuss how you are a personal and private person. That unwanted touching is unacceptable to you. Perhaps weave a tale of some night at a bar when some guy was touching your knee and leg and how you felt and reacted - have bouncer throw the perv out. you may have to wait for an opportune time though. Perhaps a Monday in the break room when he is present and sure to hear of this He'll get the message. If not, as demonstrated over time, go to HR. Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted December 19, 2012 Share Posted December 19, 2012 Hello everyone... I can't understand why he acts like this? What do u think guys? Are you kidding me? No one can be this naive! He wants to have sex with you and this has validated you as a potential OW. Why are potential OWs so naive? This naive behavior shows up all the time. I suggest you do not pay any attention to his sexual advances. He is married and you will lose your job. If he is your supervisor I suggest you behave in such a manner where he gets the message you are not available to him. It is not that hard to do. Next time he touches you move away immediately and he will get the message. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author rapunzel1 Posted December 19, 2012 Author Share Posted December 19, 2012 Are you kidding me? No one can be this naive! He wants to have sex with you and this has validated you as a potential OW. Why are potential OWs so naive? This naive behavior shows up all the time. I suggest you do not pay any attention to his sexual advances. He is married and you will lose your job. If he is your supervisor I suggest you behave in such a manner where he gets the message you are not available to him. It is not that hard to do. Next time he touches you move away immediately and he will get the message. Dear Pierre, Thank u for comment.. I m not that naive but I m so scared to know what to do. I ll listen ur advices and when he does it again, i will move away.. I think it s the best subtle way to stop his idiotic behavior. I m so passionate about my work and he knows it.. Since he is the only one will evaluate me in the performance evaluation time, I think he s taking advantage from me.. Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted December 19, 2012 Share Posted December 19, 2012 Stop being afraid or you might end up raped and nobody would believe you, because after all you didn't deny in front of everyone that you spent the night when he touched your hair. You are in big trouble. Put some boundaries in place soon or you'll be a victim. You do that by moving away from him, saying "that's not acceptable" if hr says/does something and telling the people who witness him touching you hair that that was unexplained and you didn't react because you were shocked. Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted December 19, 2012 Share Posted December 19, 2012 Dear Pierre, Thank u for comment.. I m not that naive but I m so scared to know what to do. I ll listen ur advices and when he does it again, i will move away.. I think it s the best subtle way to stop his idiotic behavior. I m so passionate about my work and he knows it.. Since he is the only one will evaluate me in the performance evaluation time, I think he s taking advantage from me.. Sexual avances from a boss can be very malignant. Is the boss the owner? Or is the boss an employee just like you? I suggest you let him know you are not available by using body language. It is possible at some point you gave him the green light with your body language. If he continues then ask him to stop in a very polite manner. If he continues and if he is not the owner then go to a higher up an explain your situation in a very calm manner. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kamani Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I hate to say this, I think you enjoy this situation. Just be honest to yourself at least. Otherwise why are you writing to this forum? Hardly any employee, not enjoying this 'knee rubbing' would allow it out of fear. On the other hand this is not a reason for the boss to 'get angry'. Be honest. Are you really scared? Don't you enjoy this? Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 People can get aroused and become paralyzed in situations they don't want to happen. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 People can get aroused and become paralyzed in situations they don't want to happen. The OP presented her views in such a manner that suggested she enjoyed the attention and was wondering what was the MM up to. That is why I made the comment about the so-called naive views of potential newbie OWs when a MM makes sexual advances. Most women that are not interested in a MM would immediately move the leg away to avoid contact with the MM. But, OP did not move her leg and now MM thinks he has a potential OW. Link to post Share on other sites
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