I feel like I'm never truly going to love again

[wildspaces]

I've written some other posts on here about my breakup.. but it's been 2 weeks now and I would say that I was doing better a week ago then I am now. I'm truly truly afraid that I'm never going to love like this again. I'm not afraid that other won't love me, I just feel like I'm never going to get over this man. I've had breakups before and I even held on to unrequited love for 6 years before, but it's never felt quite like this. This was true love through and through, knew it from the moment we met. Other men felt sort of plain to me and I've been able to get over breakups quickly before and all of that.

 

This feels so different because even though the intensity of our love fluctuated throughout the relationship I always came back to having complete love and admiration for him. He says he no longer feel anything for me romantically. My heart doesn't buy it and no this is not because I'm in denial. His feeling the past few months clearly went up and down, but they were still clearly there once the pressures of the relationship were removed. I'm not trying to make our relationship work now. I've accepted that it won't and can't. But I can't seem to put aside my feelings for him. I woke up today feeling intense pain about all of our memories together. The thing is despite all of this I don't feel depressed, I just feel true heartbreak at the thought of not having him in my life. He wants to stay friends but I'm pretty sure I won't be able to do that. He says the chance for a future relationship together is 50/50, but I can't even hold onto that. I just keep thinking I will carry this love in my heart for the rest of my life and I will never truly let go. It's not a rational decision either, my heart will not let go. That's truly where I feel I am at. Whether time changes anything who knows.

 

This is not a matter of medication or just pushing myself to feel different. This is knowing myself and knowing how love has affected me in the past.

[sadpanda87]

you will eventually move on and love again in due time, i can almost promise you that.

 

but the process wont be easy. i broke up with the girl i thought id marry, now 6 momths fown the track im still in pain. perhaps in another 6 months id be able to truly move on

 

your heart wont love again as its already in pieces. give it time

[Renard99]

Like sadpanda says, you will love again, you just need to give it time.

 

It won't feel like it now but the feelings will eventually fade. They will never go as the realtionship you had is part of who you are and part of the life that you've led.....however.... it will get to the point where those feelings are no longer significant, they're consigned to the archives of your brain, just like the memories drom the relationship. It's that point that you'll realise that, having filed those old feelings away, you'll have room for new emotions and feelings and you'll then know that you're ready to love again.

 

I know it doesn't feel like it now, but that time will come. Believe me, I went through it! I was with my ex for 7 years, all through university, then years struggling to get our own place, and then, just as we settled down and I was thinking about proposing, she upped and left me. I felt I could never love again... yet.... here I am today, in a new relationship that's far more healthy than my old one ever was. It does work, you've just got to stick at it.

[SpicyMayo]

Like sadpanda says, you will love again, you just need to give it time.

 

It won't feel like it now but the feelings will eventually fade. They will never go as the realtionship you had is part of who you are and part of the life that you've led.....however.... it will get to the point where those feelings are no longer significant, they're consigned to the archives of your brain, just like the memories drom the relationship. It's that point that you'll realise that, having filed those old feelings away, you'll have room for new emotions and feelings and you'll then know that you're ready to love again.

 

I know it doesn't feel like it now, but that time will come. Believe me, I went through it! I was with my ex for 7 years, all through university, then years struggling to get our own place, and then, just as we settled down and I was thinking about proposing, she upped and left me. I felt I could never love again... yet.... here I am today, in a new relationship that's far more healthy than my old one ever was. It does work, you've just got to stick at it.

wow renard...your response is helping me. i just got out of a 4-month relationship. it was a mutual break up. we hugged at the end. although it was a short-term relationship, our physical chemistry was incredible and right now im at a point where i dont know if i'll ever get that again. you go thru a hopeless state of mind after your break up.

[Keenly]

I feel exactly the same way... I feel like the next person to become romantically involved with me is going to have to work a lot harder than they are supposed to to get me to open up and truly develop some serious feelings again, since I am quite afraid to be vulnerable at this point in time.