sue123 Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Hi i txt my hub at work today in his dinner hour and i kept getting one word answers so i decided to ring him and when he answered he started shouting at me saying he couldnt hold a cup of tea and his phone at the same time so now ime not speaking to him as i said if he cant be bothered talking to me at lunchtime well i cant b bothered speaking to him at home Link to post Share on other sites
Spark1111 Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 sue, did you in the past suspect your H of cheating? Do you suspect a workplace affair? Just trying to follow here.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sue123 Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 Yes and maybe, all my previous posts are on here in a different name as i couldnt find the password for the old name my old name is leigh66 thanks:( Link to post Share on other sites
Spark1111 Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 ok, next time you know or he claims he will be at his desk havingadinner break at work, surprise him with some homemade food. Paste a smile on your face and arrive unannounced at dinner time. Gauge his reaction. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sue123 Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 not a bad idea but were not speaking at mo so it looks like it will have to be after the christmas holidays Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Now would actually be the time to do it because he wouldn't be expecting it.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
shame_on_me Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I dont know your background but there is nothing more irritating than constant texts and phone calls when you are trying to work. I may well be out of line here since, again i do not know your background. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sue123 Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 He also wanted to work over the christmas holidays and when i told him no it should be family time he went into a huff and started moaning about losing money by not going in Link to post Share on other sites
Spark1111 Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I dont know your background but there is nothing more irritating than constant texts and phone calls when you are trying to work. I may well be out of line here since, again i do not know your background. Wait a minute! Did you text and email and chat with your xOW all day from work? Because my H did! And when I called, he acted angry, as if I were bothering him, so I stopped calling or expecting calls from him. It worked. As he was having an affair with a co-worker, he didn't want her to think he was actually happily married. After dday, I write, I call, I know all the secretaries. I send holiday gifts, I send him bouquets of flowers. I make my presence KNOWN in his workplace now, and I have a whole slew of his support staff that really, really think the world of me. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Spark1111 Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 He also wanted to work over the christmas holidays and when i told him no it should be family time he went into a huff and started moaning about losing money by not going in Let him go in. Surprise him with a peace offering of lunch or dinner. At least, look for his car in the parking lot. Be pleasant. And invest in a Voice Activated Recorder to hide under the front seat of his car. If he is planning to rendevous with someone at work, they may actually talk about it before they get into the workplace. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
shame_on_me Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Wait a minute! Did you text and email and chat with your xOW all day from work? Because my H did! And when I called, he acted angry, as if I were bothering him, so I stopped calling or expecting calls from him. It worked. As he was having an affair with a co-worker, he didn't want her to think he was actually happily married. After dday, I write, I call, I know all the secretaries. I send holiday gifts, I send him bouquets of flowers. I make my presence KNOWN in his workplace now, and I have a whole slew of his support staff that really, really think the world of me. A few texts, if any, most of our communication was outwith my work, I do not have much time to text or take calls because i am in and out of meetings all day. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 After dday, I write, I call, I know all the secretaries. I send holiday gifts, I send him bouquets of flowers. I make my presence KNOWN in his workplace now, and I have a whole slew of his support staff that really, really think the world of me. This is very important for men and women to read. Any wife should get to know the husband's co-workers or staff. And any husband should introduce them. Of course, the husband should get to know the wives coworkers and his coworkers spouses, too. I always introduced my secretaries to my wife, and she always seemed to get along with them. In fact...better than I did. By doing this, she felt comfortable with me working with them, and they always felt "obligated" to be her set of eyes on the job. And they were. I think if I had cheated and they caught me, I would have been worse off than if my wife caught me! Anyhow, OP, husbands that do not want their wives calling them either have a problem or an affair. They should re-examine their priorities in life. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sue123 Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 Yeh i just rang him and he answered the phone with what do you want in a shouty voice so i said i just thought ide ring for a chat since your on ur lunch break but since you answered the phone like that i dont think ile bother in future he wasnt all apologetic or anything it was like someone was listening to what he was saying so i put the phone down Link to post Share on other sites
Author sue123 Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 ime certainly thinking about it, he was supposed to be going to a shopping centre tom regarding buying my christmas presents so i will be checking in the morning if his wallet has gone and if it has ime going to go round the car park for his car, its a mall so i know it might take a while Link to post Share on other sites
Author sue123 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Share Posted February 4, 2013 UPDATE still my h and i are not speaking and still not having sex but recently he decided to shave his private bits and normally it is like a national forest, also he started switching his phone off at bedtime although he never did it before, if he was having a affair wouldnt his underwear have stains in them:( Link to post Share on other sites
Author sue123 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Share Posted February 4, 2013 ime thinking if it was happening it would be at work so i dont think he would take them off or have time for washing them, he puts them in washing basket when he comes home from work, he doesnt really go anywhere to do it anywhere else apart from supermarket once a week, but ive noticed when he comes home with his shopping there is never a receipt in the bags or in his wallet, like he is leaving at the supermarket on purpose, i also found a car key ring in his pocket with no key on it and it wasnt one of ours so i took it but he never said anything Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 My wife was having an affair with her boss at work. They would take lunches together and leave the office for "meetings." They would share the cost of hotels and I'm sure they just did it in the car a few times. I caught her by putting a GPS on the car (purchased at a local "spy" store for about $250). The first time I downloaded the data, I found she had been to a hotel for 3 hours just a few days prior. They had been doing this twice a week or so for 13 months. Voice activated recorders in the car also seems to prove very effective as the two affair partners tend to talk on the way to work and on the way home. I also understand thst VARs are much cheaper. Please either under the seat or under the steering column. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sue123 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Share Posted February 4, 2013 He only has 30 minutes for lunch and i cant really afford one of those at the moment, as for the hotels he would have to explain where he was going for 1 or 2 hours or i would be suspicious Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 He only has 30 minutes for lunch and i cant really afford one of those at the moment, as for the hotels he would have to explain where he was going for 1 or 2 hours or i would be suspicious I borrowed money from family for the GPS (in my case because I didn't want $250 of our marital funds to just disappear). In the end, the future of my marriage was far more important than any amount of money. My whole concept of money has changed entirely. We suddenly spent money on a weekly marriage counselor and weekly individual counselors for both of us and bought more books than I thought possible. But if that proves impossible, I've heard some people say they bought a VAR for as little as $15. Link to post Share on other sites
beenburned Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 All of the signs you have mentioned are big red flags waving! Like the others have said, you need to be proactive in finding the evidence. If he thinks you are suspicious, he will be more careful. Keep absolutely quite until you have enough proof to hang him with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sue123 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Share Posted February 4, 2013 i am been quiet and looking for evidence but getting in his car to put a device in it would be a nightmare as i usually dont go in it as i have my own car, the beeping would go off when i opened it and he would hear Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 (edited) i am been quiet and looking for evidence but getting in his car to put a device in it would be a nightmare as i usually dont go in it as i have my own car, the beeping would go off when i opened it and he would hear That part does get interesting. A few times I had to crawl around on the floor in the bedroom to get to her cell phone. And getting the GPS into and out of the car was also stressful. But I made it work. She was a light sleeper but I never got caught. I may have felt like a damn fool once or twice but I got the truth (and then she's the one that felt stupid). Perhaps cars are different in your country but my car doesn't make any lights or noises when it is unlocked or when the door is opened (unless the car is running). Edited February 4, 2013 by BetrayedH 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sue123 Posted February 4, 2013 Author Share Posted February 4, 2013 His car beeps and the lights come on when it is opened, do you have any websites that actually work for tracking and such at reasonable prices Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 His car beeps and the lights come on when it is opened, do you have any websites that actually work for tracking and such at reasonable prices Does he have an iPhone? Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 The best GPS tracker are ones that are placed on the exterior of the vehicle and are battery powered and send real time data to your computer. The Spark Nano is one of the best. Link to post Share on other sites
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